It’s goodbye from me

solongandthxforthefish · 2025-03-19T17:54:14+00:00

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent. its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss. the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated. is there anybody mumsnet members actually like? im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/03/2025 14:41

@Pillopads

Has the awful disgusting comments made you feel better? I often tell my DC be grateful for the body they're in, many don't have the luxury of movement.

It's a pity you weren't taught how to be thoughtful or grateful that you can head out to work.

Morningveg · 21/03/2025 14:05

Hello OP wave👋 we know you’re watching and well and truly back in the fold of mumsnet!

ThePurpleBuffalo · 21/03/2025 12:23

Pillopads · 21/03/2025 08:18

I have to go @verysmellyjelly but I guess you’re setting in for a full day of mumsnetting in bed

That's really not called for. She has a disability. If she needs to be in bed and she gets some company on MN, that's not fair game to pick on her about.

Screamingabdabz · 21/03/2025 08:26

I’ve been around since the early 2000s too. Back then it was a hero worship of a circle of rah-girl queen bees and very cliquey. If you weren’t up with the London centric references and boarding school lingo you were ignored. I think it’s a lot better and more honest these days.

And if you think people are being dicks then call them out. That’s what the forum is for. Educate people. I’ve certainly learned a lot over the years.

Pillopads · 21/03/2025 08:18

I have to go @verysmellyjelly but I guess you’re setting in for a full day of mumsnetting in bed

dodgyplant · 21/03/2025 08:18

Liverpool52 · 19/03/2025 19:05

Genuinely appalling place. Children should do as they're told - see the recent post about a lady whose daughter has backed right off because the lady repeatedly tried to get her to change her choice of name for her unborn child.

Most comments were in support of the daughter but a few of the long timers told her the behaviour was perfectly fine and the daughter should suck it up.

There was also the one where they were sneering at a pregnant daughter in law's right to medical privacy - "she' carrying MY grandchild so I have a right to know".

Proper Gideon.

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Racists spouting forth too.

@SpidersAreShitheads, nice post. I agree.

Pillopads · 21/03/2025 08:17

This reply has been deleted

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verysmellyjelly · 21/03/2025 08:17

Pillopads · 21/03/2025 08:14

Suggesting it might be good for your mental health

is not unkind

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Claiming that someone is bitter and twisted would, in fact, be considered unkind by most people!

Pillopads · 21/03/2025 08:14

verysmellyjelly · 21/03/2025 08:12

I’m actually not competitive at all. But if someone inaccurately and incorrectly accuses me of ableism, I have no choice but to refer to how severe my disability is. Something I really dislike about disability focused spaces is how competitive they are!

Do you think pressuring me to delete my account is kind behaviour?

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Suggesting it might be good for your mental health

is not unkind

verysmellyjelly · 21/03/2025 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I’m actually not competitive at all. But if someone inaccurately and incorrectly accuses me of ableism, I have no choice but to refer to how severe my disability is. Something I really dislike about disability focused spaces is how competitive they are!

Do you think pressuring me to delete my account is kind behaviour?

Pillopads · 21/03/2025 08:03

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 17:57

General distaste for her communication style.

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And you do that with a smiley face and a wink?

Pillopads · 21/03/2025 08:02

This reply has been deleted

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Mistyglade · 20/03/2025 23:10

Ignorance and alternative views aren’t hatred. I do think the hyperbole has increased though.

Cosyvibes · 20/03/2025 22:09

Same for me spiders 🤣 I've been over on that new site tonight and it's so calm and peaceful, it's like a oasis 🤣

SpidersAreShitheads · 20/03/2025 21:29

Well, this thread has taken quite the turn.... 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I noticed earlier on that a few posters were starting to make things a tad unpleasant so I took my own advice and headed off for calmer corners on MN.

Just thought I'd poke my head back in to see how things were going and I can see it's been quite the wild ride, beautifully proving OP's point... 😳😂

stayathomer · 20/03/2025 21:02

I think the secret is to avoid the threads you aim for that have a title that makes you have an extreme reaction towards for a while. So head for the animal stuff, style and beauty, property, pedants etc etc

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 18:14

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 18:04

@ThePurpleBuffalo I certainly wish you the best too! Ultimately any disagreement on MN is trivial compared to the difficulty of living day to day with a disability. And as I said, I think the state is the one at fault for your struggles, not you. I’m sorry you’re not getting more help.

Thank you for saying that.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 18:08

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 17:57

General distaste for her communication style.

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Sure.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 18:04

@ThePurpleBuffalo I certainly wish you the best too! Ultimately any disagreement on MN is trivial compared to the difficulty of living day to day with a disability. And as I said, I think the state is the one at fault for your struggles, not you. I’m sorry you’re not getting more help.

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 18:01

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 17:56

I am only clarifying because you and others are so wildly off the mark in your assumptions about what I think! For example, repeated claims that I must believe you are stupid, lazy, etc. You yourself just claimed I think I am “better” than you. My response was simply to clarify what I actually think, which is that, yes, I disagree strongly with most of what you’ve posted in this thread, but I don’t think in those terms and don’t in any way regard myself as “better”. That’s not how my mind works, to the extent that I was sincerely surprised to see that accusation.

I’m not arguing with you about the specifics of your prescriptions. Honestly I think you have misunderstood what I’m taking issue with in commenting on that whole line of discussion, but it’s not really worth going over again.

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You have argued at length with me about my prescriptions!

I appreciate that it's important to you to see yourself in particular terms, but that was totally uncalled for.

I'm happy to drop the matter if you are though. I don't think either of needs to be expending extra energy on this. I genuinely hope you are doing well in your general life.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 17:57

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 17:55

If you weren't implying @ThePurpleBuffalo was lying here, what were you communicating in this post @verysmellyjelly?

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General distaste for her communication style.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 17:56

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 17:52

I am not disagreeing with you. I'm telling you the facts of which only I am privy. You don't agree I'm taking strong painkillers for example. You don't even know what painkillers they are. And since they're classified as controlled substances which you could be arrested for possession of without a prescription, they do qualify as being strong.

I don't have any dislike towards you. I don't appreciate what you've said today, but I don't know what has happened to you to make you so contrary on this subject so I won't judge you for it. It's ok to be wrong without automatically being a horrible person.

Edited

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I am only clarifying because you and others are so wildly off the mark in your assumptions about what I think! For example, repeated claims that I must believe you are stupid, lazy, etc. You yourself just claimed I think I am “better” than you. My response was simply to clarify what I actually think, which is that, yes, I disagree strongly with most of what you’ve posted in this thread, but I don’t think in those terms and don’t in any way regard myself as “better”. That’s not how my mind works, to the extent that I was sincerely surprised to see that accusation.

I’m not arguing with you about the specifics of your prescriptions. Honestly I think you have misunderstood what I’m taking issue with in commenting on that whole line of discussion, but it’s not really worth going over again.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 17:55

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:17

Sure

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If you weren't implying @ThePurpleBuffalo was lying here, what were you communicating in this post @verysmellyjelly?

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 17:52

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 17:42

Genuinely, you are wrong about this as I don’t believe I’m the “better” disabled person. I think it sounds like I have a lot more help than you and in that respect am lucky. I also think the state should be giving you much more help than you are getting. The vast majority of what you and others have claimed I think about you (eg that you’re lazy or stupid) just isn’t true. The only thing I actually take issue with is your posting style in this thread, and following on from that, the way you’ve participated in attacking me for challenging that posting style.

Fair enough, we are not going to agree on this, but I do not think I am better than you. I depend 100% on my spouse and carers, and without them I would be fucked. I’m well aware of that and not in any place to judge others. We can disagree and even dislike each other strongly, but I don’t really consider myself a “better” person. That’s not how my mind works.

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I am not disagreeing with you. I'm telling you the facts of which only I am privy. You don't agree I'm taking strong painkillers for example. You don't even know what painkillers they are. And since they're classified as controlled substances which you could be arrested for possession of without a prescription, they do qualify as being strong.

I don't have any dislike towards you. I don't appreciate what you've said today, but I don't know what has happened to you to make you so contrary on this subject so I won't judge you for it. It's ok to be wrong without automatically being a horrible person.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 17:50

@TooBigForMyBoots Also, lol at how you ignored my example of a direct comparison of specific abilities. Because that never matters! It could never be real! It’s all just relative and pretend! And in my head! /s