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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So what did the Adolescence psychologist’s report state?

255 replies

sideeyes · 19/03/2025 17:14

I have been thinking about this for a few days. What do you think?

OP posts:
SerenityNowSerenityNow · 22/03/2025 10:03

Anyway, I’m off to work now, carry on getting your little knickers in a twist about this

I think this comment tells us everything we need to know about @YourElatedLimeShark

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 22/03/2025 09:58

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 08:07

Just gonna throw this in there. Not sure if it’s been covered already. But….

I THINK THE DAD DID IT

What?!

The programme wasn't a 'whodunnit'. The purpose of it was to explore what would lead to a teenage boy from a seemingly normal family killing a teenage girl.

The fact Jamie did it wasn't even in question.

GoBackToTheStart · 22/03/2025 09:49

On another note - the prison officer. That was just a by product of one take real time filming. People do make small talk and are irritants to others. Anyone calling him an incel might want to look the word up...

I really disagree with this.

Even my husband said he was creepy within the first few seconds. The problem is that his behaviour is so common that we often see it as normal, but I think Erin Doherty really did show the impact he had on her character.

At first he was being mildly annoying, then it rapidly became a bit snarky and passive aggressive ("if anything I say or do affects your assessment" - that wasn't said in a helpful way, but it came across as the same kind of self-pitying snark that men attracted to the Manosphere use).

Later, he's mansplaining body language to her, and he physically shifts when she ignores him so that he's not behind her, but is in between her and the door. She has to acknowledge him in order to get out of the room. Then she attempts to brush him off and placates him with smiles and multiple "thank yous".

How likely is it that a man would genuinely smile at and thank a man that crept up behind him, talked incessantly when he was working, blocked his way to the door, and was very much in his physical space? Women do it day in, day out, because we've been conditioned to appease in order to minimise risk from men.

He was a perfect example of a creepy man that women don't want near them that sees himself as a "nice guy" and her as a "stuck up bitch" for not entertaining him.

Butchyrestingface · 22/03/2025 09:47

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:02

That speculation, I’m afraid he didn’t see any knife in his hands

What an unlucky girl she must have been.

This lad punches the fuck out of her 7 times and leaves her lying prone on the ground. Then someone else (who manages to evade CCTV capture) comes along and kills her by stabbing her 7 times whilst she's laying there.

Snugglemonkey · 22/03/2025 09:45

CanOfMangoTango · 21/03/2025 10:48

I thought the whole series was really cleverly done. Yes they didn't get everything right, but that's unrealistic.

I am interested as to why so many people thought the 4th episode was pointless though.

It crystallised a lot of things I thought regarding the rigid gender roles in the family, how everyone pandered to dad's temper and Jamie didn't fit expectations of masculinity. I thought the contrast between mum and dads courtship - the school dance, meeting the parents, the snogging vs Jamie asking Katie out after seeing her topless picture because he thought she was weak after it had gone all round the school was really nicely done.

I think from some of the comments here that lots of subtext was not understood by some people.

ConfusedNoMore · 22/03/2025 09:33

zoemum2006 · 21/03/2025 12:09

I particularly loved the character of his sister Lisa. She was so overlooked but her response was to ever such a good girl. They were so busy congratulating themselves on how well they had done with her, they never once asked her if she was ok - because clearly she wasn't and she would have been destroyed by the whole thing.

She works so hard to match whatever energy is in the room, to cause no fuss, to minimise her unhappiness ("they're not writing nonce on my locker")

She has become the ultimate people pleaser. Such a fascinating character and given relatively few lines to convey her sense of self but I thought the actress did an amazing job.

I really related to this and this is such a good discussion because I did feel disappointed with the last episode but now I think I've changed my mind. You have all brought up such good points.

Parents think they raise their kids the same but they don't. Especially when boy and girl. Gender roles are so influential in the family. This girl has become 'the good girl '. The people pleaser. This is how women become suspectible to male abuse in relationships. Because they've seen it modelled. Male anger is normal. It's women's job to help regulate the angry man. And yet the Dad is loving, though not good at expressing this in a healthy way, and most people would think him a 'good dad'....in many ways he is. He's so normal. So many men around who are this kind of Dad.

Jamie couldn't be himself in his family. He didn't know how to be a man. He didn't have a relatable version, an alternative modelled to him. Dad was cheeky, extrovert, laddish, into football and sport and physically strong. He was the boss in the famil. Jamie couldn't be the sensitive, intelligent and artistic boy and feel this was ok. He didn't have the role model for this type of man. He saw the man as having to have control and be the boss, but didn't know how to do this. Abusive men have low self esteem and inadequacies, and then have to use control to feel 'ok'.

sweetpickle2 · 22/03/2025 09:16

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:15

That’s exactly what I would say if I kill somebody for bullying my son and demasculating my son by suggesting he’s incel Hypothetically of course, because I’m not a murderer, LOL

lots of men work late treatment and then I found out they’ve done something such as affairs, et cetera

Anyway, I’m off to work now, carry on getting your little knickers in a twist about this

You understand that Stephen Graham is the actor and the dad is a fake character and that they are not the same person yes?

You sound unhinged.

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:15

That’s exactly what I would say if I kill somebody for bullying my son and demasculating my son by suggesting he’s incel Hypothetically of course, because I’m not a murderer, LOL

lots of men work late treatment and then I found out they’ve done something such as affairs, et cetera

Anyway, I’m off to work now, carry on getting your little knickers in a twist about this

TeaRoseTallulah · 22/03/2025 09:07

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 08:59

He cloudy state to the psychiatrist that he didn’t kill her. The father’s alibi is non-existent he said he was at work but that wasn’t corroborated by anybody whatsoever he could’ve been anywhere. Why would his profession let him work that late?

He was a tradesman, loads of people work late.

sweetpickle2 · 22/03/2025 09:06

Also- tying yourself up in knots trying to justify why the young man didn’t murder the young woman in the face of confirmation and evidence is pretty ironic given the subject matter of the programme.

zingally · 22/03/2025 09:05

I saw an interesting take on social media about the guard in the detention centre. The one who leered over the psychiatrist while she was looking at the cameras.
That was the alternative Jamie, the grown-up version, who didn't murder Katie. It gave a glimpse of what he might have been instead.
The same with the lad in the DIY shop.

sweetpickle2 · 22/03/2025 09:05

Here’s the video- https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNddwg7Js/

He says “it’s about a young boy who kills a young girl… we found out straight away… we didn’t want it to be a whodunnit we wanted it to be a why he did it.”

If you think that’s in any way ambiguous or suggests there’s some secret plot twist and second series to come (or that the dad did it??!), then I despair honestly @YourElatedLimeShark

MissyB1 · 22/03/2025 09:03

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 08:59

He cloudy state to the psychiatrist that he didn’t kill her. The father’s alibi is non-existent he said he was at work but that wasn’t corroborated by anybody whatsoever he could’ve been anywhere. Why would his profession let him work that late?

Well he owned a plumbing business and he was on call for emergencies that night. He literally told the police "I was on call", the police would easily check that out. We didn't see every detail of the investigation because that wasn't what the show was really about.

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:02

That speculation, I’m afraid he didn’t see any knife in his hands

VolcanoJapan · 22/03/2025 09:02

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:01

He was punching her

With a knife in his hands. He then ran off leaving her dying on the floor from stab wounds.

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:02

Stephen Graham said it’s about a boy that kills a girl, but he wasn’t giving anything away or something along those lines

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:02

Stephen Graham said it’s about a boy that kills a girl, but he wasn’t giving anything away or something along those lines

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:01

And I’m not sure it was seven times, which is the amount of times that she was stabbed.

He said to the psychiatrist, I had a knife and I could’ve done anything I wanted to her, but I didn’t have many other boys would I didn’t kill her.

Honestly, there is more to this than we think and I’m excited to see the second lots of episodes if there is them

sweetpickle2 · 22/03/2025 09:01

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:01

He was punching her

No, he was stabbing her, Stephen Graham has confirmed he killed her in interviews.

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 09:01

He was punching her

VolcanoJapan · 22/03/2025 09:00

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 08:53

He said he was going to change his plea at the end to guilty. We all know that pleading guilty to things that people haven’t done can get less harsh sentences so maybe that’s what he’s been advised. He maintained all the long he didn’t do it. There’s no solid evidence of where the knife is nobody knows where it is. The only person that hasn’t been asked where the knife is, or commented on the knife is the father.

I definitely think there’s more to this than meets the eye.

Did you see the video evidence of him stabbing her?

sweetpickle2 · 22/03/2025 08:59

He did it? Of course he did it?

There’s CCTV of Jamie doing it. Stephen Graham has done interviews saying Jamie did it.

This isn’t a “whodunnit” it’s a “whydunnit”.

YourElatedLimeShark · 22/03/2025 08:59

He cloudy state to the psychiatrist that he didn’t kill her. The father’s alibi is non-existent he said he was at work but that wasn’t corroborated by anybody whatsoever he could’ve been anywhere. Why would his profession let him work that late?

VolcanoJapan · 22/03/2025 08:58

Jewel1968 · 22/03/2025 08:13

I found the one take approach unnecessary and a bit of a gimmick. I think the story could have been told better although there was some great acting in it.

I guess there are thousands of programmes made the usual way and so this approach is different. Some will like it and some will prefer traditional formatting. It's good to change things sometimes.

1apenny2apenny · 22/03/2025 08:58

I think one key problem with it is that many people won’t see and understand what @SleepingCatBlankethas described which I think is very accurate about the family. There’s been a lot of talk this week about the crisis that young men are in however I don’t think men will watch and see how the damaging the father’s behaviour is. They won’t see how he cannot control his emotions/anger. Too many men are still in the ‘head of the household’ mentality, put themselves first and see women as support systems. Women have moved on and continue to develop themselves, many men want everything to go back to them being centred.

Theres lots of talk about male role models, where are they? In society men still really run the show so why can’t boys see these men and want to be like the good guy. Why is a mother telling her son to respect people, especially women not as good as a father? Is it because society still think what a man says is more important that what a woman says?