Teachers who have watched 'Adolescence'- what are your thoughts?

I asked my teens. They are 17 and 18 and neither of them have heard of them had heard of most of the stuff in it like the emojis and the uncle stuff.

The thing that struck me about Adolescence was that the boy was from a normal family, with normal parent, who let him have a normal amount of time online. They could not have foreseen what he was looking at on the internet.

Yes, I think it was the fact that it was a normal family that was so worrying. The parents thought they were doing a decent job of raising the kids. One bit that stood out to me was when the mum said she thought Jamie was safe in his room, on his computer. When actually that was the least safe place for him to be.

I thought episode 3 was the most disturbing. When the psychologist was assessing him.

Yes I think this could be part of it. I’ll admit I had a horrible time at school with the teachers and my immediate reaction is to get defensive when dealing with the school and my child’s behaviour. I do feel sorry for the teachers though, I don’t think it’s the same as it was 20 years ago.

i supply in many secondary schools are lots are as bad if not worse than the one depicted. They are better in wealthier areas. Hence why both of mine go private - it’s a world away from schools like that.

I used to work with a range of people and we had 18 - 20 year olds whose parents would call up asking about rotas, asking for more shifts, saying they were sick etc. They all got refused; you don’t work here, you get no info and if your child doesn’t call (providing they have the ability to hold a phone and talk) then their absence isn’t registered as sickness. This was ten years ago though, so not strictly a modern phenomenon!

It’s a societal problem schools end up bearing the brunt of it. Not a problem you can buy your way out of either before private school
parents get too complacent.

That said Dd 16 said her school is nothing like that (state all girl comp).

I think part of the complaining from parents is that school/teachers have such a bad rep from when we were at school, and I remember teachers being bullies and very unfair at times. People feel like they need to advocate for their children but obviously not accepting their wrong doings isn’t helpful.

@T34ch3r well fortunately I don't manage people any more but DP employs a number of 16 - 25 year olds and the answer is yes, their parents absolutely do call him to complain about shifts, appraisals, sickness absences etc. it's actually mad - I cannot imagine my mum calling my boss for me at that age, I'd have died of embarrassment.

The only counterpoint I would make to this is that the 89% would include people like my son, who watched one video out of curiosity and thought that Tate was obnoxious, as well as boys who watch regularly.

What I find sad is that we are calling the lad a “normal boy from a normal family” but he was hanging round the streets late at night at 14 and the mum admits he was in his room alone watching a screen at 1am. This shouldn’t be “normal”.

I’m a teacher and that school is exactly like my last place!

That’s the nature of the beast, I’m afraid. Teachers have to be spinning 100 plates at all times, and when a school has 1000+ pupils entering its doors every day, there isn’t time to negotiate rules with that many pupils in a nuanced way. The rules aren’t made to be vindictive—they’re there for an efficient, safe environment.

The thing that struck me about Adolescence was that the boy was from a normal family, with normal parent, who let him have a normal amount of time online. They could not have foreseen what he was looking at on the internet.

I've seen a massive decline in parenting in the last 20 years and an increase in entitlement and lack of boundaries.

That's got far more to do with it than Adolescence.

DD has previously been sanctioned unfairly (the school confirmed that it had been a misunderstanding / error) but I was careful not to contact the school until after the punishment was completed. Sometimes life is unfair - I think it's good that kids learn that, within reason (obviously). I have never contacted the school when she has been in trouble for something she has actually done. As other posters have said, actions have consequences. This is a genuine question - if parents contact the school every time their child is sanctioned, how does that set the child up for working life? Is Mum also going to call the boss when things go wrong at work?

Please tell us where you are in the country so we can all try and get jobs there!! It was very very accurate

It really shocked me that, where I live, boys seem to be given pretty much total freedom by 13/14. I was still limiting phone and gaming time at that age and needed to know where they were and who with but I was pretty much alone in that.
It also struck me that ( according to the kids so it may be crap!) none of their friends were expected to lift a finger at home. My 17 year old said most of his friends eat in their rooms not with their families. They all see to be getting bought cars now and few have jobs.
So there’s a sense of entitlement I think where everything is just handed to them and they have no responsibility. My God it’s been hard to stand my ground but both are now making comments about how they are glad I didn’t back down-I expect help round the house, for them to work for money to buy bit items and to sit down for family meals.
I’m in no way the perfect mother (too sweary) but my intense belief in young men taking responsibility for themselves kept me going!

I think some people who have children in private school like to ignore the negative information about private school experiences because they need to justify sending their kids there - I’m not saying state schools are okay, they also have a lot of problems, but to say that private schooling is automatically the answer is really worrying! We have different types of schooling - private, state, home etc - that all have different problems that need addressing alongside our societal problems with raising children.

They can 'insist' all they want. If they don't like it they can home school the toe rags themselves.

Prepare yourself. It's brilliant but not exactly enjoyable. It will leave any parent of a teenager with a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and a feeling of 'there for the grace of god could go any of us, no matter how hard we try we are up against things we don't understand'. It's terrifying and utterly depressing.

Having consequences for their actions, ie, missing prom, is against their Human Rights, didn’t you know?

Will these parents be phoning DC’s boss when they have a bad appraisal for not meeting targets and not arriving at work on time?

I don’t think it makes a difference boys versus girls. I’ve been a teacher for 10 years - equal numbers of little shits on both sides. Some of the girls were truly terrifying.

It's just age old snobbery. Sure, private schools look better on the surface...underneath it's just a different kind of rotten, a less reactive one, one that knows how to wear The Right Kind of Face.

I once had a very, very loud and angry mother tear into me (I was in an contract admin role at the time) as her daughter had been suspended for setting alight another girls hair, she screamed that her daughter went to church every Sunday, that girls didn't do such things; and that the school had made the whole thing up because we were racists (despite it being a multicultural London school).

I think parents today are quick to get on the defensive (perhaps a guilt reaction to their ineffective parenting). We also live in a simplistic label driven society today, where people often play cards - expecting deplorable behaviour to be excused because of mental health issues or an alphabet disease. Or if you try to reprimand someone you are labelled racist, homophobic, sexist, whatever 'gist' they can use...

It's easy to see why the police don't want to get involved.

Yes, i was surprised posters were inferring it was a state school problem

That’s because she’s only taught at private schools. I’ve taught in different types of school and yes, it was a very accurate portrayal of some of them!

I've not seen it (so carefully trying to circumnavigate spoilers) but intend watching it with DH and 14yo ds.

I should think that the inner city comprehensive experience is a world away from the experience of those attending and teaching at grammar schools, private schools, faith schools and more rural/ suburban schools.

I've always been perturbed that working hard, being studious or ambitious is almost viewed as an antithesis for many teenage boys, who are often tripping over themselves to compete with their peers over who can be silliest/ laziest/ stupidest/ most easily influenced etc. And i include my own ds in that who otherwise has a high functioning moral compass, good sense and intelligence.

I've lost count of the number of times I've uttered to dh "I just wish he'd make better friendship choices". It does also seem as though our expected standards of behaviour, taking personal responsibility etc are not the same as the parents of many of his friends. But looking back, I don't think it was much different back in the 90s, when I was a teenager (in an inner city comp). I used to hate being around the boys in my classes during the early secondary years (before we got streamed). I can still name the problem individuals now - and even the nicer boys had a tendency to get swept along with their stupidity. It was hideous.

I don't get a real sense from ds about what his school life is like, he doesn't really talk about school much (he's smart, but doesn't really enjoy it as such and has just been diagnosed with adhd). I'm looking forward to Adolescence stimulating discussion with him.