Teachers who have watched 'Adolescence'- what are your thoughts?

I haven’t watched the series yet and I’m not a teacher. However, I have been shocked the behaviour of some teenagers and their parents my kids and I know. And giving it some thought, I’ve realised it is mostly parents of boys who are the worst for excusing their kids appalling behaviour. A lot of it seems to be down to “boys will be boys” mentality. Including the parents of some boys who sexually harassed and chased my daughter and her friend outside of school. I’d be mortified if there was cctv of my child behaving that way. But no, boys will be boys apparently. Just a bit of fun. Apparently.

The boyfriend of one of my daughter’s friends got into an argument with her at school that ended up with him grabbing her by the neck. According to his mother, that couldn’t be possible because her son “gets excellent grades”. So therefore can’t be capable of violence. It must have been my daughter who was at fault despite her not being violent. Never mind that she’s in the same classes as he is so presumably got similar grades. Not that it fucking matters obviously. But I fully expect to see her son on the news one day having seriously injured or killed someone, probably a woman because of his general attitude.

I have a teenage son btw. He’s ND and has SEN. His stepdad and I have made the effort to raise him well and not behave with such entitlement and aggression. He’s not perfect and we’re not perfect parents but he doesn’t go around behaving like the above.

I am currently working in a state primary. Since Monday I've had the same conversation with 5 of our teachers (including 2 SLT and one SENDCO) where one of the first things they said was "Episode 3, that's just like X" and all 5 of them named 2 of our current boys (year 5 and 6) that we are desperately worried about and hitting wall after wall in
our attempts to get them some help.

I was able to go further and name another 10 or, some from even younger years, that are already using misogynistic language, showing disdain to female teachers, showing anger and violence disproportionate to whatever it is that has upset them, and in one case even attacking a completely innocent girl in his class because a bigger boy had made him angry (and in his case, mum, almost immediately said "what did she do to him?" "Well she must have laughed at him" when we reported what had happened).

The majority of my day is taken up with behaviour and it is rare that I speak to a parent that doesn't immediately try to excuse their child. I thank the Budget Gods at least weekly for our CCTV - it's about the only thing I can use to open parents eyes.

I think this is partly true.

There definitely needs to be a discussion around how we raise boys and men’s role in society. The likes of Tate have monopolised on the problem with male emasculation.

Research is needed into WHY so many boys/young men are so attracted to the shite he speaks. It’s no use just criticising him for it, we need to be honest about why he’s been so successful.

Anyone any ideas as to why? I’d say it’s a complex issue with some variables being the overly pressured, academic education system (& lack of physical movement for boys), families living in poverty and economic hardship, divorce, social media… thoughts?

I realise it sounds a bit trite but I honestly think the lack of mainstream gentle drama and comedies which find drama and humour in everyday life rather than the high octane, snarky and generally negative stuff that seems to be the norm now can't be helping.

Not a teacher but work in a school, also a parent of a boy.
Have watched it and think its very believable. My take from it is that many boys could end up feeling as Jamie does and in his situation, its very worrying.

Online stuff plus toxic masculinity and bullying all affect so many.
Boys in my school (primary) are aggressive and abusive daily to staff and other pupils. Its a very widespread problem.

In the show, Dad (Stephen Graham) has clear anger issues so combined with a bit of bullying (esp from a girl) is very big deal.

I work in a girls school. We have been taken to court 5 times in the last year in relation to suspensions. About 10% of our internal isolations come with formal complaints.

It’s an epidemic of crappy entitled parents.

I have read all comments and I have no idea what ‘typical MN speak means’ but if you’ve read my posts I have no interest in putting in a ‘punt’ to private schools at all and have addressed state, private and home schooling. I have continued to reiterate the private schooling issue because it needs to be and I will continue to do so whilst people continue to act as though private schools are issue free, disciplined spaces with perfect teachers and kids who never get into trouble.That’s disingenuous and it disregards the serious issues that private school children and teachers face. The more we ignore all educational issues in all types of settings the bigger those problems are.

It was a much better and more nuanced production than suggested in the OP which is what made it so good.

I don’t think the takeaway is that the parents are at fault. I also thought it was humanising of the teachers doing a difficult job in difficult circumstances. It also showed the complexity of the dynamic between the children, who after all are developing and aren’t fully formed. It’s normal for even lovely children to make mistakes and with an adult lens lots of the ways they treat each other is toxic, but in most cases children come out the other side.

But on the OPs proposition. I think there are lots of pointless rules and sanctions in schools to manage poor behaviour. It might make children more manageable and compliant but I don’t think it addresses the issues in Adolescence. An underdeveloped brain exposed to hateful ideologies is still capable of terrible things irrespective of whether they got detention for wearing the wrong trainers or handed their homework in late.

I really don’t think this is about sector. I
don’t think the strict behaviour management style of school is good for every child and in some cases is positively harmful. However I do think parents at state schools have little choice so I can imagine if this is the you’re allocate a strict school and it doesn’t work for your child it can cause conflict between parents, teachers and children. What private school does have going for it is that there is every flavour of school and as parents you have choice in the ethos which will get the best out of your child. Some private schools might have an entitled vibe with behaviours to match, but there are great swathes of the sector that have a completely different offer. In the right environment for them children have a greater chance of being resilient to the things that are thrown at them.

Read @Justapunta s comment that subsequent posters tagged.

My comment was relevant to that
Yours was just typical MNet speak re private schools ( using the chance here for a punt as soon as it’s mentioned ) and irrelevant to my comment or indeed @Justapunta s.

Simply not interested in non relevant attacks on my post.

The school in Adolescence is an accurate portrayal of at least two, possibly three, schools (UK, state, not privileged areas) I have taught in. It is not like the private school or the international school I worked in.

Lots of shouty teachers, lack of respect, anxious/reactive/burnt out/disillusioned teachers, rowdy children, children eith no idea how to behave appropriately, disrupted lessons.....it's why I'm no longer teaching qland watching it makes me feel a bit unwell.

Not really no. But if you’d like to withdraw the sarcasm and actually discuss then I’d be happy to do so. If not, so be it.

I think you’ve probably hit the nail on the head there.

Errrr

Nice post and completely irrelevant to my comment of course. Surprise surprise

I have taught for nearly 20 years in inner city comprehensive schools and think on the whole behaviour has improved, most kids follow a group mentality so if expectations are clear and enforced behaviour will generally be ok (and most kids glad of it) and most parents supportive. Undoubtedly though, there is a large minority of, often quite middle class parents, who will defend all behaviour and undermine systems by telling their kids not to go to detention etc. There are also significant financial penalties for permanent exclusions so we always try to do a sort of swap thing called managed moves but it doesnt always work. The saddest, most misogynistic, arrogant and violent boys i have ever known though have not had parents who challenged the school but simply never engaged - not answered the phone, never answered emails, never come into school for parents evenings or meetings. These parents, again, often quite well off and not sure whether work or other things were a priority but it wasn't something like a language barrier or working long hrs in second jobs to cover the bills keeping them away. Heartbreaking and terrifying.

That’s a really interesting point of view.

I wonder if some men feel like the thing they can brig to the table is being taken away from them so what will they have left?

I think equality makes a lot of males feel emasculated.

Thanks. That’s really interesting.

I wonder where it comes from? Did you ask him why he thought shopping was a woman’s job?

To be honest I believed we’d turned a corner with sexism. Obviously I know it still exists. It’s quite eye opening.

I think another issue is the recruitment crisis. The latest teacher we recruited is damaging to the kids because she is so bad but the university passed her. When I have contacted providers before about student teachers not being competent enough to pass the course I have been told no one fails their PGCE. I now teach 50% of Yr10 in a specially converted room because he was actually taking them backwards. That’s 80 kids in a room and 80 books to mark each week.
A lot of the legacy issues with behaviour at my school is years of cover or non subjects specialists where no one took ownership of a class so no one marked their books or made them feel wanted.
The job is also now so unappealing that it’s a miracle anyone applies for training.
I think the show was scarily accurate.

Are you aware that a lot of teens bahaving badly are doing so out of fear because they can't do the work because they have fallen behind and no one is helping them?

Absolutely not true. Lots of teens use "I don't get it" as a quick route out of doing what they've been asked. When I then ask "which part don't you understand" or "which question are you on" the most common reply is "dunno". They don't know because they haven't tried. We need to start valuing effort made.

Teachers spend hours trying to help kids, trying to catch them up, sitting next to them, trying to support. I've lost track of the number of students who turn around even when I'm sat next to them, to have a conversation about the weekend.

It started off with things like “boys are better than girls” when he was much younger, which I suppose some might say is normal and typical but it still needed challenging. More recently it’s been repeating song lyrics that talk about women’s bodies in less than respectful ways. I don’t even know the songs half the time and when I ask where he’s heard them, it’s usually “I can’t remember” or he hasn’t actually heard the song itself but other people singing it. I monitor his screen time and YouTube etc closely and he doesn’t have access to the adult YouTube account, and still he repeats it. Again, I know children have always repeated song lyrics but he definitely understands what they mean and knows I would not find it acceptable, so sometimes it feels as if he’s doing it to purposely wind me up, which also somehow feels like a slightly gendered thing to do (I’m sorry, I’m shattered and can’t think of how to explain that properly, so I hope I’m making sense!) He’s also said things that I would expect to hear in the 1950s, like asking his dad why he does all the shopping when that’s a woman’s job. Thankfully DP challenged that one so I didn’t have to, and he was very apologetic afterwards. Hopefully he’s learnt from it but honestly I’m feeling so hopeless in general right now.

Do you mind flagging some resources here?
It might help a lot of us who have young boys to guide.

I’m a secondary teacher and a mum of two boys (10 and 13). I’ve only seen the first episode but u cried most of the way through- for everyone- the child, the dad, the people who have to try to wade through these messes.
My youngest doesn’t have a phone; my eldest knows he has to hand over his phone at night and whenever I want to check it (which I do most days). We pay for it; it’s our phone. He doesn’t have TikTok etc and I talk to them all the time about what’s out there online, how you can’t unsee stuff, how these things are echo chambers, how things are edited and distorted and not real. I try not to do it in a preachy way. I think the most important thing to do is keep talking to them and listening. Often if a student or one of my kids is kicking off I might ask them what they need to tell me. I tell them I’ve heard and seen it all before and I might be sad but I won’t be shocked. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’m sure I’m not getting everything right but I think openness is key.

No instead you just keep a collection of nude photos you’ve pressured off girls 🙄

People have to stop acting like bad shit doesn’t happen in private schools for gods sakes and face up to the serious issues they have.