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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to continue turning in the school gate?

488 replies

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 14:18

I drive my dd to school everyday and once I drop her off I turn around and drive home. I approach the back gate of the school and use this entrance to turn my car round so I can head back home.
The school have now put up a sign saying keep our children safe, no stopping, dropping off or turning in the entrance.
So where am I supposed to turn around? If I carry on I reach the front gate which is busier and has the busses. If I turn before I reach the back entrance I am doing a three point turn in busy school run traffic with lots of children walking and cycling.
So AIBU to say I am safest turning in the large double gate and ignoring the new sign?

OP posts:
AuntAgathaGregson · 20/03/2025 08:33

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 16:55

Live 6 miles away, must be lovely to live so near your school.

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If it's six miles away and your nearest suitable school, it's not your problem because you're entitled to free home to school transport from the council.

Bellyblueboy · 20/03/2025 08:24

NortonBuns · 20/03/2025 07:53

I have no idea what goes on at the front gate. On one occasion when dd had just started there I needed to travel onwards into town, so went past the front gate. It was absolute carnage with busses and children walking and cycling so I vowed never to go that way again. I drive miles out of my way to avoid it if I do need to go into town.

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Being a parent is sometimes inconvenient. You are incredibly self involved and hard work.

my recommendation is make an appointment with the headteacher. Explain your time is incredibly valuable and you really can’t be bothered driving any further. Your child also doesn’t want to have to walk any distance. Your only possible option is turning your car in the gate. Explain how special you are, how you are a much better driver than all the other parents and promise that you won’t run over any children when you turn there.

I reckon the headteacher will give you a special badge for your car ‘bus and important - rules don’t apply’.

Squarestones · 20/03/2025 08:15

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 17:10

@LadyBracknellsHandbagg well none of the solutions people have come up with are safer.
Then end of the 2 miles away road is a very busy crossroad where it would not be safe to stop.
I can’t carry on to do a loop as I would then hit the full front of school traffic and children walking and cycling to school.
This is a high school by the way and we live very rurally so I am not unusual for having to drive.
There is literally a long queue of other parents waiting to turn at this point. The children have a fenced off walk way which leads to a zebra crossing so are not in danger.

If it's all so safe and unremarkable to turn at the back gate why do you think the school have put up the notice? There must be a reason they'd prefer to have parents turn at the front entrance or elsewhere - if you can articulate or understand those perhaps you can better decide whether your counter arguments are sensible or selfish?

Original poster
NortonBuns · 20/03/2025 07:53

GravyBoatWars · 19/03/2025 22:44

She did say that "all the parents" did this after dropping at the back gate to avoid having to keep going towards the front gate, but then later said that actually 90% of students were arriving at the front gate not this back one.

So I'd love to know what all the parents who drop at the front gate are doing and why that isn't an option for OP.

Show quote history

I have no idea what goes on at the front gate. On one occasion when dd had just started there I needed to travel onwards into town, so went past the front gate. It was absolute carnage with busses and children walking and cycling so I vowed never to go that way again. I drive miles out of my way to avoid it if I do need to go into town.

OP posts:
Lovemycat2023 · 20/03/2025 07:52

NortonBuns · 20/03/2025 07:49

No to avoid turning in the gate in a forwards direction I would have to continue on to the busier front gate. There is no 2 mile alternative. I thought I had explained well but most people on this thread have got hold of the wrong end of the stick so maybe I didn’t.
No reversing at the moment but if I changed my plans I would have to three point turn which would obviously involve reversing.

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If there is no sign at the front gate, and you are therefore allowed to turn there, that’s what you should do. The school have clearly assessed the risk the back gate and want that to be free of cars.

TickingAlongNicely · 20/03/2025 07:50

Why not turn somewhere in the two miles before the school?

Original poster
NortonBuns · 20/03/2025 07:49

TeenLifeMum · 19/03/2025 23:24

So you’d have to drive 4 minutes out of your way before turning round? (Assuming 30mph limit for the 2 miles). Just add 8 minutes onto your planning. I get why that would be frustrating but reversing into an entrance where dc are walking isn’t an appropriate solution. How embarrassing you needed the school to explain that and make a sign.

No to avoid turning in the gate in a forwards direction I would have to continue on to the busier front gate. There is no 2 mile alternative. I thought I had explained well but most people on this thread have got hold of the wrong end of the stick so maybe I didn’t.
No reversing at the moment but if I changed my plans I would have to three point turn which would obviously involve reversing.

OP posts:
Mere1 · 20/03/2025 07:39

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 19/03/2025 14:25

Yeah. Go for it. Absolutely. The sign applies to everyone except you. Your convenience is priority here. If you get out of the car and take a close look I bet you'll find "except Yourname" in small letters at the bottom.

This. 😂

Teateaandmoretea · 20/03/2025 07:34

grumpypedestrian · 20/03/2025 07:06

Typical OP choosing what to reply to.

They will probably have turned down closer schools or are private. Living rurally isn’t an excuse. I lived very rurally growing up and I got a taxi (provided due to location) to the nearest bus stop. Clearly OPs child is too good for something like this.

Living rurally doesn’t mean you should have to send your kids to a crap school. Probably yours was fine.

grumpypedestrian · 20/03/2025 07:06

Typical OP choosing what to reply to.

They will probably have turned down closer schools or are private. Living rurally isn’t an excuse. I lived very rurally growing up and I got a taxi (provided due to location) to the nearest bus stop. Clearly OPs child is too good for something like this.

CookingFatCat · 19/03/2025 23:56

I’m guessing it’s caused a problem or accident. Even if you don’t know the rationale, just get on board and comply otherwise where will the school be if everyone chooses to ignore like you?

StartEngine · 19/03/2025 23:24

cherish123 · 19/03/2025 23:17

Are the rules for everyone else, not you?

She’s saying that she doesn’t understand why the rules are as they are, and they don’t seem the safest option. HTH. Unless you were just trying to stick the boot in?

TeenLifeMum · 19/03/2025 23:24

So you’d have to drive 4 minutes out of your way before turning round? (Assuming 30mph limit for the 2 miles). Just add 8 minutes onto your planning. I get why that would be frustrating but reversing into an entrance where dc are walking isn’t an appropriate solution. How embarrassing you needed the school to explain that and make a sign.

cherish123 · 19/03/2025 23:17

Are the rules for everyone else, not you?

StartEngine · 19/03/2025 23:16

AprilF00L · 19/03/2025 22:48

I would be embarrassed to have you as my parent if I was at that school. A parent disregarding the rules. Saying "fuck you"

Lovely.

StartEngine · 19/03/2025 23:15

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/03/2025 20:21

Why is it so hard to believe that there could be several miles of road you can't park up on before the school?

The school I went to was set in a village that was literally a tiny triangle around a green, school one side, pub and a couple of houses on the other sides, no where to park as double yellows all round the triangle. The approach road to this and past it was country road, no verge, no pavement, no pull ins except one very frequently used farm gate a mile away (and farmer who would absolutely drive a tractor through your car if he felt like it). 60MPH road, nowhere to leave a car for six miles one way and four the other.

You had to get the bus, anyone being collected (very rare, typically only if being collected before the end of the school day) had to have their parent hover and risk being yelled at (by the teachers supervising everyone getting on their buses), the only kids who walked home were the ones who lived down a public footpath across two fields.

Why is it so hard to believe that there could be several miles of road you can't park up on before the school?

  1. People with limited imagination who rarely experience anything outside of their small scope of experience, or:
  2. People that just enjoy being dicks on the internet.
AprilF00L · 19/03/2025 22:48

I would be embarrassed to have you as my parent if I was at that school. A parent disregarding the rules. Saying "fuck you"

GravyBoatWars · 19/03/2025 22:44

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 19/03/2025 22:40

The OP said in an earlier post that ‘all the parents do it’, so she’s changed it to 10% now?!

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She did say that "all the parents" did this after dropping at the back gate to avoid having to keep going towards the front gate, but then later said that actually 90% of students were arriving at the front gate not this back one.

So I'd love to know what all the parents who drop at the front gate are doing and why that isn't an option for OP.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 19/03/2025 22:40

GravyBoatWars · 19/03/2025 21:54

You said 10% of the parents are doing what you do. So what are the other 90% doing? And why is that not an option for you?

The OP said in an earlier post that ‘all the parents do it’, so she’s changed it to 10% now?!

GravyBoatWars · 19/03/2025 21:54

You said 10% of the parents are doing what you do. So what are the other 90% doing? And why is that not an option for you?

SparrowFeet · 19/03/2025 21:24

You're going to have to leave more time and go the long way around

Fins2025 · 19/03/2025 21:12

I voted YABU but reading your updates I think the parents should talk to the school and the town council to come up with a plan that gets all the kids to school safely. This does seem to be badly thought out. Why build a school in a rural area with no safe way to drop kids off?

Crazybaby123 · 19/03/2025 21:07

You have to park a way from the school and walk like everyone else in the country.
When I was in primary a boy got hit and killed by a mum dropping her child off at the gates and turning, thats why they have the rules and the zig zags. It obviously ruined many peoples lives, I am sure the mum didnt expect that to ever happen but it did.
Our school calls out the parking wardens when people start parking in the wrong places.

SergeantDawkins · 19/03/2025 20:59

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 18:52

There are no side roads, why post if you can’t be bothered to read the thread. No matter how early I leave I have to turn around. Either before or after the school, I just think it’s safer before. For what it’s worth the sign went up a week ago and so far everyone has carried on as usual.

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I have read the whole thread and you’re being VU everyone seems to agree. No one believes that in the entire journey from home to school has nowhere at all that you can park and walk from at either end of the school road.
You don’t need to drop directly in front of the school. No one does (unless mobility issues). Just pure entitlement.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 19/03/2025 20:49

0ohLarLar · 19/03/2025 20:45

She said there is no bus from their location

I mean the school transport, that she's entitled to because its her nearest state school but its 6 miles away.

Right?

Probably not. Probably op has a more suitable school nearer home, but thinks her special DC can't possibly go there. So isn't entitled to the transport provided to prevent this situation.

Or its a private school.

Your opinions about the OP potentially not using the nearest school (which is really common) still don’t mean there is a bus though. It’s not about her thinking her DC is too special, it’s about her being too lazy to drive for longer. She doesn’t want to hit the busy traffic and she needs to get over herself.

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