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Original poster

To talk to DF about his parents' probate

28 replies

Velmy · 19/03/2025 12:58

My DF's parents both passed away around a year ago, within a few weeks of each other.

Their estate will be worth quite a significant amount - two properties and cash. I'm not sure exactly how much, but at least in the low seven figures. The only beneficiaries in the will are my DF and my brother, so nothing complicated there.

There is a solicitor dealing with the probate, but they are apparently a poor communicator and DP isn't the best at dealing with these things. He still works in a high-level executive position, and while he wasn't affected by his parents' death, he's had a stressful 12 months with work, and my DM being quite seriously ill.

Probably complicating things is the fact that DF had an extremely difficult relationship with his parents, with virtually zero contact for the last 20+ years and only very sporadic prior to that. They were incredibly difficult and unpleasant people and he finds talking about them, even to us, quite hard.

This money should be going towards his upcoming retirement; DM is concerned that something has gone wrong with the process and he's not telling her to keep her from the stress.

I have no experience of probate (and Google is giving me all kinds of answers) but this does feel like a long time...brother and I are currently contemplating raising it with him, but knowing how difficult he finds these kind of conversations, we don't want to stress him out needlessly if this is actually quite normal.

I'm going to post in legal for some legal advice, but for here, given that it's been over a year, would it be unreasonable of us to have a bit of a crisis meeting with DF to find out what's going on, and if we can help?

OP posts:
Budgiegirlbob · 19/03/2025 14:06

Are your DF and your brother both executors as well as beneficiaries? Could your brother contact the solicitor to see what stage things are at? Or would this cause upset to your DF?

It’s so tricky, the estate does need to be sorted, but if your DF is not good at delegating, or passing on information, then it makes it all very difficult. I do think that at the very least, your brother , as an executor, needs to sit down with your father and sort things out. Perhaps point out that deadlines may now have passed. I appreciate that may be easier said than done though.

Original poster
Velmy · 19/03/2025 13:32

budgiegirl · 19/03/2025 13:14

It can take quite some time to apply for probate, especially if it's a complicated estate. There's no time limit on it, as far as I am aware, but things could get quite complicated if your DFs parents died quite soon after each other.

If there is inheritance tax to pay, there is a limit of 12 months to send the inheritance tax forms. So this probably should have been done by now, otherwise there is a fine to pay, and interest on the tax payments after 6 months.

While a solicitor can fill in the forms and check everything over, they will most likely need information from the executors of the wills (is this your DF?), such as details of the deceased bank accounts, pensions, properties, investments etc.

|f your DF is an executor, but doesn't feel up to managing the paperwork, I believe he can legally step down from this role, but would need some advice how to do this. Is his brother able to help at all?

It's my brother who is the other person in the will, which is what's making things difficult - Our DF doesn't like delegating to family even when he's struggling!

Your post confirms a lot of the things we're worried about to be honest - DF brushes off DMs questions about it with the old "It's fine, I'm dealing with it/Waiting for the solicitor to get back to me" but we don't actually know if any of the relevant forms have been completed/submitted or where about in the process they are.

These are all good things to ask him though, thank you!

OP posts:
budgiegirl · 19/03/2025 13:14

It can take quite some time to apply for probate, especially if it's a complicated estate. There's no time limit on it, as far as I am aware, but things could get quite complicated if your DFs parents died quite soon after each other.

If there is inheritance tax to pay, there is a limit of 12 months to send the inheritance tax forms. So this probably should have been done by now, otherwise there is a fine to pay, and interest on the tax payments after 6 months.

While a solicitor can fill in the forms and check everything over, they will most likely need information from the executors of the wills (is this your DF?), such as details of the deceased bank accounts, pensions, properties, investments etc.

|f your DF is an executor, but doesn't feel up to managing the paperwork, I believe he can legally step down from this role, but would need some advice how to do this. Is his brother able to help at all?