What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

Joint 98
Take home after deductions and nursery salary sacrifice 4200.
Mortgage 1600
Other bills 600 including council tax, car insurance etc
Food shop 700ish including nappies, toiletries etc
One commute 260
Leaves 1k for all non essentials, yearly bills, luxuries, spending money, kids clothes, kids clubs, holidays, Christmas, visits to family etc.

It’s not an income that covers a bougie lifestyle like 2 week abroad holidays or fancy cars.

🔥 🔥

Exactly this. No one forced you or him into this.

Give it a rest with the "too sad to work" stuff.

You’ve chosen to have (at least) four children, that’s surely something that is an expensive choice.

It sounds like your shared children came after DHs children.

That makes your shared children the 'luxury'

No. Absolutely not a luxury. His children were there first and are an essential responsibility. You don’t get to describe him simply being a half decent parent to children he fathered before you were even in the picture as some sort of “extra”.

If anything your choice to have further children knowing he already has existing financial commitments and responsibilities and thus incur nursery fees and a bigger car etc was a luxury.

Total monthly income is around £1800. Rent is £800. Council tax is £110. Debt management plan is £120.
Me and 2 teens so no childcare costs.

It's shit. I'm too ill to work but not ill enough for PIP/LCWRA.

My rent is incredibly cheap, and I'm constantly terrified that my landlord will put it up, despite his constant promise that he won't.

Our “luxury” is DH’s children

Just your DHs children??? Not yours (that costs at least £1k a month in nursery fees??)

we have to have a big enough house and car for them

Um yeah that's kind of what you do when you have kids!!!!

That’s a bit unfair. Isn’t your own child a “luxury,” because you did say the nursery fees are £1k?

I’m on a similar income to you, and don’t have childcare fees to pay - that money also comes out of your disposable income?

My leftover covers my groceries sweetie. Just.

Put it this way, my gross earnings last year were around £45k. I'm single, no kids, but also no mortgage. On the down side, as a self-employed person, clients tend to pay me as and when the spirit moves them. But I have nowhere near the lifestyle I would expect on that salary given my circumstances.

So I can see why a family on £90k with kids and more outgoings would not be living in the lap of luxury. You were still brave to start this thread though - and me for replying! 🔥🚒🧯.

Sorry but something is off here. £90k and you can only afford second hand clothes from Vinted??

We earn just under £100k between us (roughly £5,800 a month net) no benefits or childcare costs, mortgage and all bills £2k, fuel £500, CMS and dog sitter £500, food shopping for us and dogs between £500 and £700. So left with about £2k for everything else.

It sounds like your mortgage is unaffordable to be honest. £3k for mortgage and bills would suggest your mortgage is at least £2k which is where the problem is.

3000 on mortgage and bills on an income of 90k is really high 😳 we are on similar income and but our mortgage is only 1100 - no way we could afford that much! No wonder you don’t have much money left.

I sympathise. When you have to pay full living costs (no subsidised rents or council tax reduction for example) you aren’t entitled to 85% off your childcare bill, well when you frankly aren’t entitled to sod all, it isn’t surprising that you have to penny pinch on this salary due to high taxation and cost of living. This country isn’t a very desirable place at the moment.

Income nearly 1500 a month. Rent 850. Other bills around 150. Storage fees approx 280. Cat food around 20. The rest is all mine. For everything. HTH.

Looks round thread. Ah, sorry, I'm in the wrong class. I do beg your pardon. Tugs forelock and backs out.

I'm on £46k plus £1,300pa child benefit. Single parent, working full time.

Out of that I pay my mortgage, all bills, support my ds16. My ex contributes about £160 a month.

DS won a 50% scholarship to a private school so I also pay his school fees. (What was I supposed to do, say No after he had won it?) Money is tight as a result. My last evening out was the works Christmas party.

The only reason ds is still at his school, after Labour's VAT on fees raid, is I was made redundant last August, received a payoff, then managed to find another role very quickly. My payoff will cover the VAT plus increase in fees. DS's lower sixth so we have 4 terms to go. We're hanging in there, just. I won't let Labour disrupt his A'levels

I recognise we are financially secure and very lucky compared to others.

I'll manage a week's holiday this summer and to get my highlights done in a salon. OP, I think you need to decide on your priorities

Our household income is approximately £80k.

We pay £3k a month in bills - that’s the total including household and personal bills such as car payments and credit cards etc.

My stepson gets DLA that is halved with his mum, we don’t touch it and save it up for things for him.

Each month we have circa £2k left, after food we’re looking at about £1500 disposable income. Which we dispose of in various ways!

Looking at your list - nursery and commuting are your “issues,” but having £500 left after you’ve paid to house and feed everyone also isn’t bad going in this climate.

I'm single, take home under half of what you do. No benefits. Mortgage + bills takes up pretty much all of it. Haven't been on holiday since 2018 and have to save up to do things like go to the theatre. It's shit but what can you do? At least once you've stopped paying childcare your disposable income will massively increase.

You have to cut your cloth. It's always been that way unless you have inherited wealth or a big salary. Neither of which I, sadly, have.

Wages, plus benefits, cms etc my income is £2100. No childcare costs (teenager) but I do have a rather large monthly bill for extra curricular approx £200. Bills £600 a month (home owned outright) food approx £400. I manage to treat us and build savings