What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

Why don't you get benefits for your son if you're only on 10k?

Yes but now you have four children to support and house....

Yeah that’s fair, I’ve just checked and our council tax, Sky, water and gas/electric are £329. There’s other stuff like Netflix etc but that’s luxury. So is Sky really.

But anyways - if you’re paying £1800 on a mortgage and have another £1200 in household bills on top of that, you’re either heating a mansion or you’ve got other bills.

Which to be clear, is fair enough. We cut our own cloths and make our own financial choices, but I also don’t believe you can spend all your money on choices you’ve made, and then whinge about it.

This... yet your partner felt well enough off to start a second family.....

Its the childcare costs that are crippling- and at least they are relatively short term I guess?

At which point you'll have £1,500 disposable income per month - that's very fortunate indeed in my view. Yeah, right now you're not living it up the way a combined £90k salary household 'should', but in a few years you'll be able to access a lot more luxuries than many.

Many of us on half your household income have no such prospects.

The nursery and CMS are not forever OP hopefully you will feel the benefit then

I actually feel quite sad for people like that. Tomorrow they could be hit by a bus or an aneurysm or a death and be a bit 'too sad to work' too. Pathetic isn't it?

@SleeplessInWherever Ours are £3k - £1200 of that is rent (Cheshire) but the rest for the house make up another £300 maximum.

If your entire household bills reach £300 maximum then you’re in the minority I would say.
Council tax and water alone for me pushes £300 and will go up by a combined £50 next month. Plus all the other bills on top.

"I suppose people would assume we are doing well financially because of our salaries."

You are doing well. You can afford to live with the choices you have made, some of which are quite expensive choices.

Yes but then you married a man who already had children to support, had your own child, bought a house, car, etc. Choices.

I do agree to an extent OP , our income is around 160k . But with a mortgage of over 3k per month, over 800 going out in CMS and still having to have enough room in houses and cars for the step kids we don’t have loads of disposable income anymore. When I was younger I’d think this was ‘rich’ but it isn’t when you have a large family and the cost of things now. We do also have to watch spending a lot closer than we used to. I think everyone does because whatever your lifestyle is , it costs more now than it ever did!

£98k household income. No benefits

Have you thought about taking in ironing?

How about a lodger?

Income is around the same as yours but our mortgage is less than half of what your paying. Other bills are roughly 300 a month. We have no childcare fees as child is in school, groceries between 300-500 a month depending on what we need. We have a good standard of living go on 2-4 holidays a year, are able to save and get work done on the house when needed.

The problem is supporting so many children really, isnt it? You chose to be with a man who already had children, you chose to have more.

Pre tax £120k

I think we can all also accept that household bills don’t usually come to £3k unless you’ve got non-essential bills in there.

Ours are £3k - £1200 of that is rent (Cheshire) but the rest for the house make up another £300 maximum.

To get up to the £3k we’ve got a car on finance, we’ve got a second car that needs insuring, we’re got previous debt/cards that need paying off, 2 phone bills for newish iPhones - lots of things.

If we really wanted to, we could cut costs on things and live more frugally. That’s a fortunate place to be.

I think it’s disingenuous to live to your extended means, and then complain about it.

Particularly without acknowledging that your means are higher than others, and you are in a fortunate position.

Oh OP, I hope you've got your hard hat on, this is not going to go well.

How on earth are your DH's children a "luxury" when he's only paying £500 CM for multiple children but childcare alone for your shared child is £1000??

£26K ish (£33 pro rata)wage and sometimes an extra £2-300 from freelance work.

None, not entitled to anything unless single person's discount on council tax counts.

I'm not really. Always in overdraft by second week.

Single adult household of £60k
Benefits sweet FA
Mortgage £600 (I don't live in a cheap area but had equity from a previous property that was luckily bought before a big boom)
I really I don't feel any better off than when I earned half what I do now because everything else has gone up proportionally more so my pay rises are effectively a pay cut. I have savings and now pay more into my pension than I used to but I don't live a lifestyle that I would expect from that salary.

Husband earns 27k a year. UC about £200 a month. PIP of circa £550 a month.
We are ok at the moment but if my PIP goes we will struggle.