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Original poster

What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

814 replies

Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 11:16

Genuinely curious after so many threads on here about benefit changes. Please feel free to name change!

I’ll start:

Salaries for both of us total 90k. Only benefits are £102 month child benefit, though we also get tax-free childcare and 15hrs free at nursery.

Total income is about 6k a month, mortgage and bills 3k, nursery 1k, commuting costs £500, groceries cost £500, husband pays CMS and other bits to his children totalling about £500 leaving us about £500 for everything else.

Feels like we’re constantly penny-pinching.

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 19/03/2025 12:53

Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 11:41

Not looking for sympathy, but I’d have expected a better lifestyle on 90k.

We get by but can’t afford holidays or to get my hair dyed at a salon. MOT months are very stressful (car is seven years old). Clothes are mostly second hand from Vinted.

You are paying for your choices. You choose to have a home with a large mortgage. You chose to have children when your husband already had commitments to his other children.

Coming on here to claim you're struggling on £90k when you are fully aware there are lots of disabled people scared stiff that they won't be able to afford food now is distasteful at best.

Read the bloody room.

HerOopNorth · 19/03/2025 12:52

user9632579 · 19/03/2025 12:51

You must have a desirable house for that amount of mortgage.
Move if there's an issue.

Why are you asking what other benefit claimants receive?

To be fair, we don't know where they live and people who don't live in the SE are often very unaware of the cost of even a modest 3-bed semi.

£500K isn't unusual and in fact the low end.

Original poster
Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 12:52

sugarapplelane · 19/03/2025 12:49

But you know the reasons for not having a better life.
You know your outgoings are high because your DH has children from a previous relationship.
You can’t do anything about that. You just need to carry on.

Show quote history

Yes you’re right. Not expecting to live like billionaires!

I was naive, I suppose, when I met DH. Didn’t think about the costs we have when they’re not around of bigger house, bigger car and so on.

OP posts:
Stafanko · 19/03/2025 12:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/03/2025 12:51

Hmmm

Well as a single parent on 80k I don’t get any child benefit so a bit lacking in sympathy that you, as two working parents, do get this as well as double tax free allowance etc., double the amount at a lower tax rate etc

user9632579 · 19/03/2025 12:51

You must have a desirable house for that amount of mortgage.
Move if there's an issue.

Why are you asking what other benefit claimants receive?

HerOopNorth · 19/03/2025 12:51

How old are his other children?

If they are teens, the payments will stop at 18 won't they?

IVFmumoftwo · 19/03/2025 12:50

None of your business but a hell of lot less than you.

Namechan98459857 · 19/03/2025 12:50

If you're mortgage and bills are totalling 3k, then I can see your issue straight away. Would you move to another area?

IVFmumoftwo · 19/03/2025 12:50

OP I think you might need some lessons on budgeting etc if you can't even buy new clothes!

MyDeftDuck · 19/03/2025 12:49

Sorry MN but my income is MY business

sugarapplelane · 19/03/2025 12:49

Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 12:43

I feel like I very much bought into the Blair promise that going to uni and working hard would mean a better life.

Our house is a wreck which hasn’t been decorated for thirty years and I’m embarrassed to have friends round. Thought we’d have the time and money to renovate and we just haven’t, despite being here years now. Growing up my mum had a council house (still has) and it’s much better, decoratively, than ours. So whilst it’s great that we own it, we don’t have any more stability, have more worries, and actually a less pleasant house than I had as a child in poverty.

Show quote history

But you know the reasons for not having a better life.
You know your outgoings are high because your DH has children from a previous relationship.
You can’t do anything about that. You just need to carry on.

HerOopNorth · 19/03/2025 12:49

Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 12:43

I feel like I very much bought into the Blair promise that going to uni and working hard would mean a better life.

Our house is a wreck which hasn’t been decorated for thirty years and I’m embarrassed to have friends round. Thought we’d have the time and money to renovate and we just haven’t, despite being here years now. Growing up my mum had a council house (still has) and it’s much better, decoratively, than ours. So whilst it’s great that we own it, we don’t have any more stability, have more worries, and actually a less pleasant house than I had as a child in poverty.

Show quote history

The issue is that £90K doesn't go far in the SE when you're spending almost £2K on a mortgage, AND when your partner is also supporting another family.

I don't know your earnings split but if it's 50-50 then an income of £45K each isn't that great spread across 2 families. It's (for example) 2 teachers on just above the main pay scale. Or 2 snr nurses, etc.

I'm not trying to be critical but putting your income into perspective.

But a bit of paint doesn't cost much so maybe think about how you can freshen up your home on a budget?

Hwi · 19/03/2025 12:48

We are not getting any benefits, but FFS, read the room! The most tone-deaf post in recent days.

jimmyjammy001 · 19/03/2025 12:47

Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 11:53

Our “luxury” is DH’s children, really. We have to stay in an expensive area to be close to them, we have to pay CMS, we have to have a big enough house and car for them. We can’t cut back on any of their costs so here we are.

I guess a few years ago I’d have thought our salaries would mean having a far higher quality of life.

At the end of the day, you've choose to marry someone with children from a previous relationship, no good complaining about it now because you haven't got a "higher quality of life" most others would of looked the other way and found someone in a similar position in life as themselves when dating, not someone who has allready got children as everyone knows that brings a massive financial burden to any relationship which the other partner like yourself just has to put up with.

Fluffybagel · 19/03/2025 12:46

household income around 95k - 2 adults only so no benefits. we’re very comfortable but frugal, not frivolous. Overpaying mortgage significantly to be mortgage free before 40. No plans for kids. Have 3 or 4 holidays a year.

RampantIvy · 19/03/2025 12:46

I'm poor by MN standards, but being ancient I am more comfortable than many. Income is quite low, but so are outgoings.

4 bed detached house in a nice area, mortgage free
Decent car less than 2 years old, completely paid for
Adult DD who is a student but very independent
No debt
Low energy bills as we have had solar panels for 13 years and they have paid for themselves.

Biggest monthly outgoing is council tax which is currently £264 a month, but going up next month.

SuspiciousChipmunk · 19/03/2025 12:46

Not looking for sympathy, but I’d have expected a better lifestyle on 90k.

Should have thought about that before you started popping out kids and taking money from the state.

Barbarachicken · 19/03/2025 12:45

Min £58k Max £80k (freelance dependent)
£1200 Child Benefit
Coping OK but no abroad holidays and a truly ancient car. Once debt is cleared will be in a better position.

frillygillymilly · 19/03/2025 12:45

your outgoings are too high

I would love a smaller mortgage but can't help when I was born...

Original poster
Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 12:43

jewelcase · 19/03/2025 12:35

I think this is a really interesting post, demonstrating a big problem that we have, namely that a large income doesn’t lead to a great lifestyle any more.

The old deal was that if you worked hard you’d be rewarded with a good life. Now you can have a household income of £90k, topped up with another couple of grand in child benefit, and because of the CoL you still have to scrabble around each month. No room to save, no money for a rainy day.

Increasingly the only way to achieve financial security is to inherit substantial wealth. Otherwise you will be scrabbling around forever. Only the highest earning few will achieve security through income/work.

And of course it will be worse for our kids, many of whom will be paying 9% additional tax forever in the form of student loan repayments.

No wonder people are losing hope or opting out.

Edited

I feel like I very much bought into the Blair promise that going to uni and working hard would mean a better life.

Our house is a wreck which hasn’t been decorated for thirty years and I’m embarrassed to have friends round. Thought we’d have the time and money to renovate and we just haven’t, despite being here years now. Growing up my mum had a council house (still has) and it’s much better, decoratively, than ours. So whilst it’s great that we own it, we don’t have any more stability, have more worries, and actually a less pleasant house than I had as a child in poverty.

OP posts:
AnAquiredTaste · 19/03/2025 12:43

your outgoings are too high

we have around 43000 income per year, no benefits, not much outgoings and have around 1600 per month disposable income

Enigma53 · 19/03/2025 12:41

Gabrilla · 19/03/2025 12:32

I guess it’s all relative, but I grew up in poverty with a single mother who didn’t work and relied on benefits in the 90s. Assumed with a degree and professional jobs, on 90k household income, I’d be richer than needing to buy clothes second hand, box-dying my hair, forgoing holidays and panicking about car bills like she had to.

I definitely didn’t do a cost-benefit analysis on falling in love with someone who had children already though!

Mortgage should go down next year (bought just when the interest rates went up to almost 6% a few years ago), and we’ll save some when the baby gets to school. I would have loved a second but we can’t afford it until then, and then I’ll be too old.

Nothing wrong with a box dye 😊

Gogogo12345 · 19/03/2025 12:41

Take home averages £1300. BILLS ( C TAX , Water, electricity gas) roughly 230 car insurance/petrol 300 ( use for work) Food £250.

thankyounextplease · 19/03/2025 12:39

Household income varies as we are both self-employed so depends how much we decide to pay ourselves in a given month - on average probably about £7k take home.

mortgage is £490
food £800-1000
cleaner £120
no kids, no benefits