What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

It’s about equal. The problem is we have managed to get our work set up so I do school/nursery drop offs and he does the collections, and most other jobs require 9-5 at least to begin with, so we’d need to pay for more childcare. He could do evening / weekend work but that’d mean seeing SC less.

I'm not sure about your sums here.
If he wanted to earn more- say £20Kpa more- that would easily pay for a nursery start at 8am and a later collection.

The reality is one of you has to earn more or accept the status quo until he is no longer paying CM.

I know, that's why I don't move elsewhere.

We have a nice, relatively new 2 bed new build, bought for 80k, current value around 95k, it really hasn't gone up in value though over the years like other places but I'm not too fussed x

Yep. Ten years ago I was paying £900 in rent (which I felt was extortionate then). Now you can't rent anywhere around here for below £1500.

Mortgages aren't much less.

It's absolutely bonkers.

Total household gross pay - 35k.
No benefits.
I’m disabled but not entitled to PIP etc.

Why is the OP not allowed to say she thought her spending power would be higher on her salary?

it's ridiculous

Morgage is £467.

This is another planet.

Most youngish people I know now with mortgages pay at least £1K and sometimes double that.

Rentals where I live are over £1K for a 1 bed flat.

Because he's got them 50% of the time so I assume paying for their needs when they are with him

@LilacPeer Wow I didn’t know universal credit was so much , it’s more than your wage ?

About £180,000 combined. After tax - £100,000, then private pension, NI contributions of £1500 month each as both self employed, leaves us with £5000 a month. Take out our mortgage, council tax, utilities, university support for Dc and we are left with £1500 a month. No benefits, both working 50hrs a week. It is frightening where it goes.

Yep!

Can you answer my other question abut how either or both of you can earn more?

You can't do anything about his other family but you can do something about your own careers.

I sometimes think I live on a different planet to most (probably quite happily).

I life in a low cost/low income area.
Total net pay for 1 full time and 1 part time is £4300.
All bills, food, petrol etc come in at around £2000 so over 2k disposable. Morgage is £467.

We prioritise travelling and save around £900 a month for travel, 'pocket money' of around £800 a month and a few hundred in savings.

We could easily move to a better area and bigger house but would never pick that over the life we have.

22k. That's my work pension plus about 4k of a pension inherited from my husband.

The house is paid for, but I have a large repair bill coming up so I'm worried about that.

Would have been a bit better off, but it became impossible for me to work full time (DH was disabled latterly) and my then boss wasn't prepared to agree a 3 day week for me. Ergo, I took my work pension two years early.

Have done a bit of supply teaching, but it's cheaper for schools in Scotland to employ a younger person - and, to be honest, the classroom is a bit robust these days. It was never good for supply staff, but it's downright dangerous these days.

I'm better off than many.

why does their father not contribute?

Not really, do you know anything about the cost of housing or interest rates these days?

I pay almost what OP does but for a 2 bedroom flat with a 60% LTV.
I can’t just choose to pay less like people are suggesting. If I rented it would be more.

I earn 27k p/a, DH is on about 33k.

No benefits.

Mortgage is very low - about 300 quid a month for the time being. One very old clapped out car that we're considering getting rid of.

I do feel like we have enough left over for fun things and holidays. Not hugely extravagant ones, but enough.

I think you are doing pretty well, even if you can’t afford the luxuries. If my child (like one of your husband’s) only cost me £500 a month I would be significantly richer!!!

I'm not here to knock anything OP. I am a single mum who coparents 50/50, I work part time as I am also trying to complete my degree in Biology through OU. I earn £1015 roughly a month from my job, and this is topped up by universal credit to about £2085. My outgoings are as follows:
Rent: £725
Bills: £597 (£150 to my grandma to pay her back for my car)
Food: £200
Credit Card: £100
Fuel: £120
Savings: £100
Leaves me with about £243 for clothes, school trips, days out etc. It's a little tight but I make it work and honestly since leaving my partner and the financial security that came with him, 1000x happier with my life now!

Simple question- what can either of you do to earn more?

Promotion? Change your type of work?

How is your income split- equally or one a higher earner?

Why is the OP not allowed to say she thought her spending power would be higher on her salary?
Whats the maximum income someone needs to have before they stop being allowed to discuss finances?

and taking money from the state.

child benefit used to be universal. the majority take something from the state

I think the op’s getting a very hard time. She’s not complaining just stating facts.
The poster above is getting an equivalent of £57,500 salary of which approx 50% is benefits and nobody’s commenting on that, she also obviously only works part time as salary under NMW for full time. ( And I’m not having a go at the poster either just making a point)