What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

If she can’t get to work there won’t be an income.

Unless you are planning to send your children to private school this is probably the most expensive time. Childcare costs are a big outgoing which disappear when they start school. Life gets better but living well within your means pays big dividends when you reach retirement. Very few people plan for the future nowadays. Once you get past the “expensive” stage don’t waste money keeping up. Invest in pensions so you can enjoy a comfortable retirement believe me it’s worth it.

Having lived a fairly frugal life and made some good financial decisions we are now retired ( late 50s) and have a monthly income after tax of £4k+. I still work 1 day a week to support DS through uni. I chose a career that is well paid. We didn’t have to adjust to a lower income because we had a plan which included investing surplus income in pensions rather than spending it on stuff we didn’t need.

The option of early retirement was a blessing after both DH and I suffered health problems. It could have been so different.

Worrying about money at your stage in life is normal but maybe worry about the real problems rather than the luxuries. Make sure you have adequate life insurance and a good longterm plan. There is nothing wrong with buying second hand or making do. It’s not a new concept. Rather than buying on credit save the money up until you can afford to buy new. By the time you have the funds you may have changed your mind and have found something else you want.

Always have enough in your savings to replace essentials like a central heating boiler, they always break down when you least expect. We have various small accounts that we use for just in case. For the cost of a couple of coffees a week you can save £500 a year. Add in a weekly takeaway and a couple of bottles of wine and you can save £2-3k a year.

I come from a generation where there was no access to credit so you couldn’t buy anything until you had the money. I remember applying for my first credit card. I now never use the credit, paying the balance off every month. I make money this way by collecting the rewards. It’s not much but allows me to treat myself every few months without feeling guilty.

I bulk buy when our regular food and household items are on offer. I suppose we have never adopted the instant gratification lifestyle. And I often talk myself out of buying stuff I don’t need. I love Vinted and since DS has expensive tastes in clothing it is a godsend. He is now a big fan of vintage clothing and has appropriated a lot of his dad’s old clothes. I’ve just bought some sliders off Vinted. They are a style of Fitflops that were discontinued. I bought a pair several years ago but the dog ate one and I was so excited to find an almost brand new pair to replace them.

So you are hit with a triple whammy - only one basic tax threshold, 40% tax on part of your income and no child benefit.

You will be saving £1000 a month when nursery is no longer required - hang on in there.

you do have options to cut costs. Get rid of your car completely as it seems it’s a luxury you can’t afford, irrespective of your high income.

That's understandable and entirely your choice just as this is ours :)

Your mortgage and bills are high in my opinion

It's nothing to do with what another family earns. The incentive from the government to stop people sitting at home claiming benefits and not working is to top up their income. Awarding 45p in UC for every £1 earned. That's where the phrase 'pays to work' comes in.

I have no experience of the Scottish child payment or why it isn't means tested, so can't really comment on that because in England you wouldn't be getting that sort of 'take home'.

To be completely honest, if someone is out working, I don't care if they're a bin man or an astronaut, I want them all to be able to live to a comfortable standard.

You say you don't resent your SC but every single post comes across as you absolutely resent the money your DH pays for them! Even blaming the eldest SC for DH having to take a reduced salary. At least you have the self-reflection to admit you are poorer because you decided to marry a man with previous children and then both decided to have DC. If you live in an expensive area neither of you are earning particularly highly, so understandably you aren't well off.

Our take home pay is about £3.5k per month and all our outgoings are less than £2k per month (including all regular bills, mortgage and food) We get about £170 per month child benefit. We go on one uk holiday per year. We only claim child benefit.

We live quite comfortably on a lot less than you op, but our mortgage presumably a lot lower (small 3 bed in a cheap area, to be honest id rather have the cash than a high mortgage) and we've no nursery expenses, commuting costs or cms.

After reading this, I’m so glad we live in the north where it’s ridiculously cheaper. Our income is nowhere near yours and it seems we are much better off!

Genuinely curious, will you be able to get work that uses your biology degree after you get it if you're forced to work around someone's shifts?

Both on minimum wage, cash poor, but we do have assets that bring in some extra income (the equivalent of a third wage, which is a bit more than the equivalent of a minimum wage). We have no debt and no mortgage, so our monthly costs are usually well within budget, and if we sold our assets we'd be doing pretty well for ourselves until retirement.
Grow much of our own food, herbs, with a small orchard and chickens.

Household income is about 80k with 1 child and I feel comfortable but when I look at this or compare with others I realise we are frugal/ lucky in some ways.

So we have 1 car we saved for so no finance deal. We don't have expensive gym membership or phone contracts. No children from previous relationships to support. Reasonable mortgage. No debt.

We don't spend a lot day to day but plenty of holidays. Not luxury but nice family ones. We can save and don't worry about bills.

Absolutely this!! I now work less and tip money into pension, of which I plan to take 25 % tax free (if that has not been removed) when I get to 57.

I appreciate though that I am in a minority as DH has a private income as well as a civil service final salary pension that increases with inflation. While we have a mortgage it could be paid off if we wanted to.

Very privileged to live in one of the most expensive areas of the country - I am essentially working class though (by background) and can totally see that the distinction between rich and poor in this country is growing bigger year on year. There is no way unless there was serious family wealth or a lottery win that even a high earner (am talking law firm/ accountancy firm partner) can afford to live where I live and send kids to fee paying school. Which seems almost unreal to me.

Household income £160k, just us and 1x cat. We are planning to have children soon but currently…

Take home around 9k a month, mortgage £1800 (on a flat because London), bills £600 (we pay a service charge as well as the usual Internet, water, energy, council tax), food £400 on groceries and we get a takeaway approx once a week. Car insurance £400 a year, car tax the same. Currently paying for our wedding this summer then will try for baby.

I’d quality for PIP and disability if I chased it. I don’t though because we manage fine without and it wouldn’t feel right.

Same. We’re not even in London and it’s the same! Lolsb

Indeed! My goodness our household pays £800 more income tax every month that we would if we lived in England, for the Scottish government to ‘top up’ your household income to the equivalent of about £80k????

£2100 a month. But fortunately I don’t have a mortgage on my small flat due to an inheritance a few years back and my modest car valued at about 4k is paid off.

I don’t receive any benefits as I’m single with no children.

To be fair @LilacPeer its not really a “ top up “ when it’s more than your actual wage .
A top up would be working a Sunday shift and getting a 10% premium on my shift for working the Sunday .
These universal credits “ top ups “ are nuts .
It’s like working a shift , your wage is £90 then your work pays you an additional £110 on top …

I feel like some people very much believe that I shouldn't be claiming it. They probably also believe I'm frittering it away on alcohol and cigarettes or something 😂

Were under 90k

Income £5600
No benefits
Bills and mortgage £2500 (low mortgage but have some a loan each and a car)
Food/Petrol/pets £1000

Left over each month for luxury’s - £2000

We’ve always been terrible with money but our wages have grown quickly in the past two years as we’ve both progressed, been using the spare cash on holidays and enjoying life but we’re going to TTC soon so all of that disposable income will likely be a distant memory next year

That’s not the issue.

It’s the fact that at £90k from ine wage, people wouldn’t get chikd benefit.
But two people at £45k, yep no problem.
And yet this is not a family struggling…..