What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

76k combined, 1 FT and 1 PT. No childcare fees (DS is in a school pre school so no additional fees). £1400 a month mortgage in the midlands. 10 year old car not on finance. Don't take foreign holidays and UK holidays are in the cheaper school holidays (February half term). No commuting costs as both WFH so no wrap around care for eldest as I work school hours. Save for big jobs such as new ensuite and appliances. Sometimes take 0% finance agreements on smaller purchases such as new flooring. Able to still save money each month for various things. Try and get as many things such as clothing secondhand. Don't buy clothes unless needed, try and keep to a capsule wardrobe as much as possible.

We are in a very fortunate position

How is it relevant?
OP has 1 child. She pays 1k for nursery, a nanny would quite obviously not be cheaper.

A nanny being cheaper than paying several nursery places isn’t even the same conversation.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156992108

This is near some of my family. It’s maybe not amazing but honestly it’s a nice enough town in the north east and easy access to
all local services, buses etc. Some parts of the country are a lot cheaper than others

My 3 friends have 9 children between them and employ 3 nannies. Not a childminder! As parents often talk about how expensive childcare is and how they need to balance up working costs, they often speak about this. Not sure why you find that surprising. I also know a woman who has one child and has a part time nanny. Is that ok for you?

Wow you might need to look at what you spending op..where you buying food...half your budget and similar out goings and we been saving ...we own our cars out right, do free stuff at weekends, phones are on £6 a month rolling contract, normal tv nothing else...I honestly can't understand why at 90k...you overpaying pension or got a huge debt....I'm finding Tesco is cheapest at the moment with a lidl thrown in...I've no aldi near by

£200 every month on clothes, to go to London twice a week?!!!! Are you buying a new outfit for every day?!!! I’m sorry but you’re being ridiculous. You could spend £200 for the whole year! I’ve got friends who earn over £200k and they don’t spend that much on clothes!!

Your pension contributions would go up, childcare will be reduced when they go to school. Having a child together means you both have to sacrifice things, it shouldn’t just be your salary.

It’s possible to earn more and still be present, for both of you. We made a decision before we had children we would share things equally. We both took time off after the birth, we both have had to negotiate with work in starting early/late finishing early/late, we both spend quality time doing reading, cooking etc. My mum also went back to work later and honestly the few hours after school, between sports clubs and music clubs, aren’t the best quality times at all that I remember.

So it’s not really relevant to say a nanny is cheaper than nursery on a thread where the OP has 1 child in nursery? A nanny certainly wouldn’t be cheaper than £1k a month.

If a nanny is caring for 9 children then it’s a childminder, and also not legal.
If they are separate it’s weird you would know how much 3 individual friends pay their nanny and the comparable weekly rate at nursery. Certainly a lot of information to share…

Until nursery fees were over we had zero spare funds despite good salaries.
You just have to wait it out.

Ha, we don’t get any either. However, our future is in the hands of us and I guess the employer. We can make choices. We are not directly dependent on the government putting money into our account each month and we don’t have to worry every time a benefit review is announced. I reckon that counts for something.

Exactly. The houses being bought on my road these days, are either London professionals (like my DH, 6 figure earner), or tradespeople. Tells you how much they must be making! Lots of snobbery around trades still, when actually they probably make more than many people coasting through with their degree.

They have 9 children between them, it’s cheaper with an above board nanny than a nursery.

Hi 👋

I’d expect a skilled trades person to be on £60-70k at least. Not that they’d necessarily be declaring that to HMRC!

It’s certainly not a cautionary tale about cost of living.

A tradesman can easily outearn lower end professionals like you and your DH. They can make a fortune because they are in such demand.

Yes I do.

I don't tend to refer to it as a "top up" because I don't like the phrase and don't know where it even came from 😂

Smug because your home and childcare cost less literally decades ago?
Okay, cool for you.

That literally the point of the thread clearly going well over your head.

Me neither. I genuinely thought UC was topping up, exactly as you suggest. I’ve now discovered that a fair number of people are receiving so much that their household is taking home £2k more than I am as a HR taxpayer, even though the earner in that household is earning less than half of what I am.

I’ve never been entitled to anything in my working life despite being disabled and having spent years on the poverty line, so it’s galling to see that people who are on more then NMW are now getting thousands of pounds “top up” per month.

I had no idea the benefit system worked like this.

Thanks @littleorangefox
Its just opened my eyes reading all of these amounts.
I really didn’t know people got so much in benefits.
The total amounts are equivalent to huge salaries of two really good salaried full time working people.
I just think it’s not “ top up “ , as I said before a top up would be little bit more not basically doubling the household income . I didn’t know this was the case commonly until I read this thread.

Do you think you ought to get this level of benefit? Do you think that it’s a good way for the government to spend money?

Genuinely interested in your opinion.

Also my UC is £1500 not £1700 although I'm sure someone will have a smart arse comment to make about how it's not much different 🤣

UC is based on net income not gross. Our UC is made up of couple element, 2 children (although we have 4 but only qualify for 2 due to ages), LCWRA due to my disability, carers element and childcare. There's a deduction from the UC award of just under £900 for his wages then we get what's left after that.

UC is based on individual circumstances. It's made up of elements which are all added up then deductions made for wages. If someone has elements for disability, childcare and rent (which we don't have) then their UC award will usually be higher.

Is that 90k gross?