Would you leave 14yo alone in the country for one night?

Definitely not. Anything can happen overnight and your DC may not know how to get help. There could be a fire, a break-in, a burst pipe. They could be taken ill. Or something unexpected (noise outside or whatever) could just frighten them. So many potential issues could arise.

You need to hire a babysitter who can stay overnight or ask a friend’s family to take your DC in for the night and offer a future sleepover in return.

I did but regretted it. No crisis but he suddenly got scared despite having been left til 10 pm several times. Had to reassure him by phone until 1am - wasn't bad enough to disturb our friends close by who were on emergency standby. As others have said big difference by 16

There are way too many variables to make this a sensible plan - not least for example weather related travel delays, accidentally locking himself out of the house (we’ve all done it!) or the extremes of burglary or fire. The best solution is a sleepover with a friend. His mates parents will be understanding and willing to help out in an emergency - please ask for help!

Sorry I agree with the majority here. 14 is too young for overnight and out of the country.

Options are take them with you, find a friend for sleepover or another childcare solution, or solve the overseas problem without actually going there.

Not only that, but legally a 16 year old can make important decisions for themselves, and if an emergency happened while the parent was in another country for one night it wouldn't result in social services involvement.

If there's really no one you can leave him with, I think you have to take him with you. He cane miss 2 days' for an emergency and take schoolwork/ electronics to keep him occupied and away from the crisis.

OP I completely understand having no support network, I was in that position. No friends or neighbours I would feel comfortable asking. Some people never experience this, lucky them.

As this is an emergency does DC have a schoolfriend where they could stay overnight? If not then yes, I’d consider it, but I would try and find someone local who would be an emergency call away

No, absolutely not.

They either come with you or stay with a friend or family member.

I'd think about, it like you, and know it's highly likely to be fine, but I wouldn't do it.

I'd take the boy overnight to help out in this situation, if he was one of my DC's friends, even if I didn't know the parent.

My 14yo simply isn't ready (ND, resistant to things like cooking, misses feelings like hunger cues) My 12yo has better skills and would be ready to leave sooner. They're currently at the stage that we leave for a few hours in an evening.

I would want there to be a support network. In our case we have good neighbours and friends a mile away.

Objectively, 14yos go out doing things like Duke of Edinburgh expeditions with light support in the background to check they're on track. But they have that social peer support (and training).

My concern isn't a 14yo's ability to look after themselves or deal with reatively common issues (e.g. find stop cock, or check fuse box) it's having an adult to support them if further action is required. There's generally a shift in social confidence at dealing with the adult world between 14 to 16.

It's 99.9% likely to be fine, but it fails the newspaper headline test if it's not. There's plenty of adults with lousy self-sufficiency skills; I previously had a neighbour who destroyed his house with a poor response to dealing with a chip pan fire... he was in his early 70s so not a life experience issue, and tbh young people are more freshly trained- it's the accountability that's the issue at this stage of development.

No I wouldn’t and I would be fairly relaxed but no this is too young

No I would not leave a 14 year old. Being alone at night can be frightening if you are used to someone else being there (hearing noises, being aware of the slightest movements) and as an adult if my husband is away I am always constantly checking doors are locked and being more on a heightened state of alert. The teenager might feel confident but I am not sure I would leave them overnight when not able to return to them quickly (or have someone on hand).

You don’t desperately need to go help
a relative you need to look after you kid. Because that’s what they are a kid. The kid comes first. Completely irresponsible.

@iloveapplesandcakesdo you also have pets, is this why you need someone at home? I get it, but you need a responsibile adult in the house.

If there really isn't anyone your child trusts to contact in an emergency or has a friend where they can stay for a night I would take them with me.

Two days missing school is hardly a disaster.

Isn’t there a school friend whose family would have them for one night?

There are lots of families who are extremely isolated, child might not have friends at school and may be a complete loner.

Im not sure why people find that so hard to understand.

Society has become really insular

I take it you don't have teenagers. there is a huge difference in maturity, temperament and ability to deal with unexpected situations between a 14 and a 16 year old

I can’t believe not one friend exists (either her own or your own) who she could stay with?

I had a similar situation recently and was pondering whether to leave my DS alone overnight. He is 15 and 4 months, very sensible. We live in a very quiet area. Thought about it for ages -the fact I had to keep thinking about it showed me that I wasn't comfortable doing it. If that makes sense. the fact that you are asking on here for people to back you up shows you deep down that it's not the right thing to do, imo.

Can she not stay at a friend;s house?

No. They'd have to stay with someone, even if that meant travelling to stay with family and missing a couple of days of school.

Tricky. In theory I would but we do know the neighbours and have a friend round the corner.

Can your DC not stay over with a school friend?

I’m all for children being given some responsibility and I think at 14 they should be able to function pretty well on their own but 30 hours is too long. Both of mine would have been scared in the house on their own over night at that age.

I’m pretty laid back with leaving the teenagers alone compared to most on mums net.

I would let a 14 year old stay at home for the night but not without a support network. You need to find someone that knows they are alone that can be called in an emergency. If the child gets ill at school and they have no one to call, they would call social services instead. Friends parents, work colleague, neighbour. Needs to be someone.

Not one single friend they could stay the night with at all? I find this hard to believe TBH. They may have parents you don't know especially well but I think you need to reconsider this. For one thing, if they do get scared they WILL call a friend/someone. Who would that person be? Ask them before you go. It will not reflect well on you and would also be very stressful to sort this remotely if they panic or something happens.
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