Would you leave 14yo alone in the country for one night?

I agree with this, and it is what I am doing, as a fellow single mum. There are now four of us, who will be there for each other in such a situation. Our children aren't especially besties, but would be ok in an emergency to hang out and sleep over. Absolutely build your local network, OP. (And other single mamas.)

In answer to OP, no, I wouldn't do it, and I have a sensible 14yo too (and also a younger child).

Absolutely not without a back up plan for anything that might go wrong - child gets scared, something unforseen goes wrong in the house that child wouldn't know how to deal with eg power cut, leaking pipe, gas leak or something happens your end meaning you can't get back as planned (flight delay).
Unless you've got a friendly neighbour willing to help out ICE or your DC can stay over with a friend then it's a definite NO from me.

Your DC probably says they're fine with it now, but once they're on their own and know you're out of reach, it might be a different story.

I would ask if they could have a sleepover with a friend.

That said, my mum used to leave me home alone from 12/13 for 3-5 days at a time when she needed to travel for work. I was sensible and I took myself to school and made my dinners and looked after the dog. This was pre-mobile phones and the only time I heard from her was when she called me, so I couldn’t have even reached her in an emergency.

It was generally completely fine and I was happy to get on with it, except there was one time I fell down the stairs and dislocated my knee. I spent the next 24 hours until she came home on the sofa with a bag of frozen peas before she took me to A&E. That said, while nothing really terrible happened, my mum is definitely not the sort of parent I want to be. 😂 I would organise a sleepover.

Whilst 14 yo may appear mature, they are still very much children.

The OP has not explained the back-up situation - the lack of a friend to stay with is surprising, but there has been no mention of supportive neighbours and presumably no nearby family or the DC could stay there.

There are so many ordinary things that could happen which would panic a normal 14yo, not to mention the unlikely but possible.

School closed down for boiler issues etc
Burst pipe
gas leak
smoke alarm/CO monitor going off
power cut - some can be lengthy, especially in rural areas
loss of phone signal
Being spooked by strange noise, storm etc
Being ill/having an accident (easy to cut yourself, slip in the shower etc)
Fire

I don't think it is fair to leave a 14yo overnight. I don't think it's right.

If you really can't find someone to stay with them, or someone they can stay with, then you have to take them with you.

I think it would not be the end of the world to leave them overnight. You need to have emergency procedures in place for them to follow if a problem arose.

Have you got a neighbour or anyone close to hand if there was an emergency?

You say you have no one to help - what would your child do if you got run over? Surely you must have discussed some sort of plan if an emergency ever happened in your daily life?

Sorry but I’d see if they could sleep at a friends house.

Depends on the kid. I know mature 14 year olds and dimwitted, flighty people at all ages.

Odds are that everything will be fine.

No they’re still a child. If it’s a genuine family emergency school should authorise leave. Can he stay with a friend ?

Why can't you ask a school friend? Agency childcare? 14 is too young, and even more so if there's no support to call upon.

My child is 15 and I wouldn’t do it until 16 and finished school. But even that worries me how would they cope in an emergency etc. In your situation I would rather they stayed with a friend if that’s possible.

I would do it IF I had an emergency contact, plan for if something went wrong. I think they need to be able to call someone who can be there within half hour max if something goes wrong. Having noone is really difficult. I have people in the village that I only know through bumping into each other when I walk the dog but I know if I said in an emergency could DC call on you they would be fine with this, as would I. It doesn't mean DC has to stay with them or even see them but they need someone they can call if disaster strikes. Most people are kind and would be happy to help out in an emergency in my opinion.

Absolutely not, not in any circumstance. Surely they have a friend they can stay with?

No way , could they not stay in a friends house over night and go home after school the next day ?

I actually think there's a big difference in maturity between 14 and 16. 14 year olds are generally pretty silly, ruled by their hormones and peer pressure. 16 year olds tend to have grown up a bit, are more responsible and self-sufficient. There's a reason 16 is the legal age for a lot of things.

Personally I think it's too young for overnight, OP. I understand it's borderline though. I would try to take him with me - could he spend time with other family or friends there?

No

There must be a friend or family member who can help even if it involves travelling to see you! Just ask! People like to help each other.

The child must have friends too?

Overall, I agree with this. I stayed home alone at 15 or so and it was not a huge deal, but we were in a semi with neighbours on the other side of the wall.

I watched TV (this was mid 1970s, no devices) and sneaked my mother’s cigarettes.

OP how close are the nearest neighbours?

It's still the unknown factors in what you're doing that would worry me. Sure, there are lots of regular flights. But you're counting on being able to do what's needed to resolve this 'emergency situation' within the 30 hours and get back as planned. What if you can't? What if your relative hasn't told you all the details and it's worse than expected?

My other thought is: you've said there is no support for your teenager locally, just you. Are you also the only person who can fix this emergency situation abroad? Are there no other contacts who can help your relative, is there no way of paying someone to do what's needed? Why does it have to be you?

If you're the only person who can be the support in both situations, then someone has to lose out. For me, that would not be my teenager.

I wouldn’t be inviting an overnight babysitter i.e. unknown person into the house.

I wasn't saying that she should leave them. I wouldn't, but my 14yo clearly isn't ready anyway.

My point is that there's been several replies of people being incredulous that there isn't friends or family local or trusted enough to leave a 14 year old overnight with as though it's highly unusual. It's not highly unusual and is a common situation for people with long-distance families to be in.

Depends on your neighbourhood. If close neighbours they could run to in a significant event, yes. Middle of the country with no other house for a mile, no.

You can’t leave the child with no support or emergency contact. No way.

Can you afford an emergency nanny for one night? At least then you have a responsible adult with your child. And they will be registered and DBS checked.

It would probably be ok but how is it that between the two of you there is not a single person who could be asked to help? Even just to be available in emergency?

Is your home that isolated?

What about a hired nanny for overnight?

Yes but then it really isn't realistic to leave themalone unfortunately. She needs to take the DC or pay for someone to stay the night.

@iloveapplesandcakesI probably would have- but it’s a bit concerning that he has no school friends he could stay with. Or is it that you just don’t want to ask? Because it sounds as if you’ve got enough to worry about without worrying about him too.