Would you leave 14yo alone in the country for one night?

What do people think magically changes the minute a young person turns 16? It’s all very dependent on the maturity of the young person. There are some 16 year olds who couldn’t be trusted to look after themselves for three hours never mind for one night and some 14 year olds who would manage just fine.
Some things to consider would be
Do they know how to safely lock up and switch off everything that needs switched off at night?
Can they safely use the cooker or can you trust them not to use it at all and stick to microwave if not?
Do they understand about not answering door to strangers?
Are they responsible and won’t invite friends around or try to have a party?
Do they have people close by they can contact in case of an emergency?

If the answer to any of these is no then I wouldn’t leave them.
As others have said, can they stay with a friend?
Do you have a trusted neighbour/friend who could act as an emergency contact and maybe look in on them in the evening and morning?

I would leave my 14 year old, he's very responsible, but there'd have to be an emergency contact - neighbour etc. And make sure he has a working phone and/or landline.
But I agree with others that best solution is if he could stay with a school friend for the night.

Seems odd that there is no one you can ask to help neither of you have friends/neighbours work colleagues or school mums that would be there in an emergency for you? No I wouldn’t leave my 14 year old over night.

Another no...

DS is 14 and the likelihood is that he would be absolutely fine, but if something did happen you'd never forgive yourself and if it was then found that you were out of the country then there could be serious implications. You can't do it.

Absolutely not. Your child has no-one to help them. Think of the worse case scenario- how will you ever justify that you weren’t even in the country?

Your relative needs to find an alternative or pay for your child to go with you. Don’t ever put your child at risk for someone else whatever the circumstances. You can’t get a flight quick enough if there is a worst case scenario here and they have no-one to help - not even a classmate’s parent.

One of the things that would put me off is there's no contingency.

What happens if your travel plans are massively disrupted and you're delayed or cancelled? One of my friends ended up sitting on the tarmac for 8 hours not long ago. What if weather or politics stops you getting back? Or everyone needs to rebook and it's a nightmare.

What happens if your relative ends up needing you to stay a week?

What happens if you catch something while travelling and you're so sick you can't get back for a while?

What happens if your kid gets sudden anxiety about staying on their own overnight after you leave, they're having a panic attack, what are you going to do from an airport, hospital or relative's bedside in another country?

They will also not be able to reach you while you're flying. And apparently have no one else in the world they can speak to instead.

I think it's too young.

Sorry its a no from me, there is not a single person on this planet - my parents, siblings, spouse, friends - who I rank as more important than my child. While unlikely, what if something happens to you while you’re gone? They may be mature enough to leave for one night but where do you draw the line? Sorry OP, it can’t be any easy situation.

Absolutely NO! Too much could potentially go wrong and if it did SS would certainly get involved. Sorry OP, you need to put your child first.

Unfortunately in your position I would have to turn the friend down. She may need your help but your dc has to come first. 14 is a little too young to leave all alone whilst you are out of the country. Tbh, I wouldn't be much use to a friend in need as I would be constantly worrying how my dc was getting on.

I have an almost 14 year old daughter and I wouldn’t just yet, if everything went to plan it would be fine but it’s if anything went wrong. Does he have a friend he could have a sleepover with? Or a neighbour/friend he could call in an emergency?

There's a difference between a 14yo staying alone overnight when parent is abroad with a neighbour/friend/family close by and a 14 yo (seemingly) alone overnight with no adults to be there if needed.

Yes, 99.99% guaranteed nothing will happen. But should they be left alone in the OPs circumstances? Probably not.

Unhelpful. It’s very lonely having no-one to turn to in a crisis. Never mind the reasons, the OP says they have no-one, I believe her.

If there is really no-one the 14 year old can stay overnight with, then best solution I can think of is that you take them with you. Book a hotel room to leave them in for the hours that you need to help your close relative with. That way at least you will be in close proximity to them, and get done what you need to do, whilst keeping 14 year old safe.

I 100% would. At 14 they should be more than capable of managing and dealing with themselves.

The biggest problem is that apparently the child will have absolutely no one in the entire country that they could call for help if needed. That would mean they shouldn't be left alone.

Take him with you

At least they could ask for references and a dbs check, if he went to a friends house you wouldn’t have that or even know who else is in the house. It’s not ideal but a better option.

No. My 14yo ds is also very sensible, but I wouldn't leave him (and to be honest, I don't think he'd want to stay on his own overnight either, however sensible and confident he is). You'll be out of the country, too, so can't even get back quickly if there is some kind of emergency.

Wouldn't this trigger some kind of safeguarding referral? If the school can't help find a babysitter (very likely) but know that the op is planning on leaving a 14yo alone, then surely they must act on that info?

I don’t know - think it is fairly unusual for a 14 year old to have absolutely nobody they could stay with overnight in an emergency.

That person may not be their best mate or even anyone they’ve had a sleepover with before, but they’ll have someone.

I have a 17 year old and have only just recently let them spend a night on their own. What would worry me the most is that children even up until 18 are less likely to wake for fire alarms and things like that. I’d either take them with or let them go to a friends or something.

It is highly unusual that a 14 year old doesn't have a single friend that could have them overnight. Or that the OP doesn't know anyone else at all.

100000% no

Why can’t they stay with a school friend? I had to go away over night, very last minute. I just started calling around my kids friends mums asking for a favour for them to stay overnight. It was all sorted within half an hour due to a couple of very kind mums.

I wouldn't. My DS will be 16 next month and haven't left him alone over night yet. Once he's 16 then I think i probably will. Even then though, I'd def want someone local as an emergency contact, if I wasn't in the country.