Would you leave 14yo alone in the country for one night?

Yes I would but anyone needs a back up plan, so what phone friends or support could be used, what advice could he seek if he couldnt get hold of you, what if the boiler goes or something breaks.

These are the things that need to be built into the contingency. A mature, able 14 year old is able to manage being there, getting food, amusing themselves, putting themselves to bed, getting up for school etc but its if an appliance breaks or starts beeping or a door wont lock or unlock. Sods law sort of thing. So who would he contact in such a circumstance.

I would.

My parents regularly went away for a night/weekend when I was 13+. If I had any major issues I could knock at a neighbour for help.

As long as your son makes sure the doors are locked he is only going to school, having dinner then sleep and back to school! is your area quiet ? I am on a huge estate with lots of neighbours who watch out for each other so on reflection I would leave him at home.

What do people think is going to magically happen between 14-16?
If they were happy with the situation I absolutely would, responsibility and trust is good for teenagers.
presumably they have a phone and know an adult they can go to in an emergency? I would let a friend relative know they were alone but wouldn’t make them go and be babysat at 14

I used to babysit when I was 14. Sometimes had to stay overnight as the parents were going to be really late back.

You know your dc best. I would have left my oldest but not the younger one.

No I wouldn't. If it was desperate and thete was nobody available to help I'd bring them with me.
Is there anybody who he is friends with at school that you could ask the parents to have him overnight?
EDITED TO ADD I just read your post, and see there isn't a schoolmate he can stay with.

Only you know how your DC would cope and how you’d feel but personally I’d be too worried. It’s a tough one and I’m sorry you’re in this position if there really is nobody (no judgement it happens) and the family reason you can’t take them is something you could overcome id take them out of school tbh not popular on here but it’s one day
personally I wouldn’t go down the getting a friend to stay route, DS is 14 and is possibly less sensible with a friend in tow
hope you get sorted

I left 15 and 17 year olds alone but their aunt lives two minutes away and grandparents are 15 mi utes away. Plus we know the neighbours well. And they have their dad to stay with if needed (40 min away)

I agree with all of that.

Be fair, there's a huge difference between leaving a 14yo to go socialise and leaving them in an emergency to support a family member. OP is only asking because she's in a bind, she's not asking if she should go out on an overnight jolly.

Not at 14 . I was a sensible 16 year old. My parents left me overnight quite a few times while they were a few hours away. In the end I had to ask a friend to stay with me.
I used to get scared around 10pm and hated it . 14 is too young .
Do they have a friend who could stay with them in your home?

Hire an overnight babysitter from an agency or send to a friends house

Surely they have a friend they can stay the night with ?

No, 14 is too young. The big issue for me is there’s too much risk of getting delayed. Flights cancelled, relative needs more help than planned for. Etc etc

If they have a friend aged 16-18 then yes.

I left my 14 year olds until just after midnight the other weekend as I was invited out. First time I’d left them that long. Normally it would be a couple of hours and I would stay local.

It felt ok until I was out. I was an hour away by car. Made me feel so uneasy. Couldn’t enjoy myself. Felt too far. I had a close friend on call up the road if they needed anything but it still made me feel uncomfortable. I told them it wasn’t worth it and I won’t do it again until they’re older. It was the thought of them going to sleep in an empty house that upset me. I thought they’d easily stay awake until I got home. It’s not just the safety aspect it’s how they FEEL being on their own. Not nice for them. Not worth it.

I think this is too young and if something happened you’d get into a lot of trouble. I would ask one of your dd’s friend’s parents to look after her. Under these circumstances a lot of people would help out.

No, not worth the risk. A 14 year old isn’t equipped to deal with emergencies. Can they not stay overnight with a school friend ?

I think I would, but definitely go through the precautions and check in from abroad a couple of times.

I do think you need a back up procedure in case he loses his key or gets sick or there’s an emergency at school.

But yes, my kids would be fine.

Well this is irrelevant, and NSPCC don't make our parenting decisions. I happily left my DS home alone occasionally from 14 overnight because he preferred it to going to his dad. However his dad was nearby and on hand in case of emergency. I wouldn't feel ok leaving a child that age at home alone with no safe adults nearby if they are needed.

*or son.

There needs to be someone. I'm sure those leaving a 16 year knows there is someone in an emergency.
We hope emergencies don't happen, but... They can and they do.

What's the back up plan if something goes wrong?

If you have a trusted neighbour on call, who could take DC in, but DC prefers to be at home, will check in and generally be there, but DC is in their own home, that's one thing. I wouldn't be 100% comfortable, but in effect the neighbour would be taking responsibility and DC 'camping out' in their own home.

Otherwise... I would worry. It would probably be OK. But it is a huge level of responsibility for DC.

DD is nearly 18, and we have agreed next time I travel for work she will have a friend for a sleep over instead of going to my mum for the night. It's only recently we have lived near enough for my mum to be the back up, so.i understand how difficult it is when you don't have family support.

Where is the back up and the support network. I appreciate that you are a single parent, I am too. I'm 'lucky' that my eldest is 28 so could look out for his sister.

However, if I was truly - neighbours? School friends parents?

Even if you didn't know the parents and my daughter came home saying @iloveapplesandcakes needs to go away urgently can daughter stay?

I'd speak to you then put her up for the night.

You can't leave her with no support.

Like you I would consider it. Then probably have collywobbles about it.

best thing would be to get them to go stay somewhere else or have someone stay with them.

once they are 16 then yes overnight.