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Original poster

House deposit

88 replies

GassyCanister · 18/03/2025 22:23

If you had two children, would you give £20,000 to one towards a house deposit. Nothing to the other?

Context:
Child 1 has 2 children of their own. Previously owned home, moved to bigger home, price increased significantly between purchase / selling so had a fair bit of equity.

Child 2 first time buyer. No children of their own.

i won’t say who I am yet in the story until I’ve got some idea if I’m being unreasonable or not.

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 18/03/2025 22:35

I have lots less than my richer, older, siblings my parents gave me £20k but that was an advance on our inheritance and I’ll get less when they pass. If the parents cant afford £40k now could they do something like that? In reality it’s already been a decade so it will be worth less to them when they get it which isn’t imminent, but they will let that go.

Gundogday · 18/03/2025 22:35

Largestlegocollectionever · 18/03/2025 22:25

No I’d give them both £10k each

This

TheOneWithUnagi · 18/03/2025 22:35

This is similar to my family situation - I’m the older child (only 3 years) who bought at the right time plus my partner got help with our deposit from his parents (my parents couldn’t help at the time)

I wouldn’t be upset if my younger sibling was gifted £20k to help get them get onto the ladder, in vastly different circumstances. My parents are now retired, have paid off their own mortgage etc.

wouldn’t bother me one bit!

Vaxtable · 18/03/2025 22:34

No

HarryVanderspeigle · 18/03/2025 22:33

In general terms, no i wouldn't. In real terms, if child 1 was better off than me and it was child 2's only way of getting on the market, yes I would.

Viviennemary · 18/03/2025 22:31

Depends if one of them has a lot more money than the other.

redgingerbread · 18/03/2025 22:30

I agree with @Littletreefrog but on the face of it I would split the money equally between the children in this case.

(One of the nice things about having an only child is not having to grapple with this sort of thing!)

GreenPinkYellowOrange · 18/03/2025 22:28

No, I’d treat equally.

RealEagle · 18/03/2025 22:28

No I treat all mine equally

Littletreefrog · 18/03/2025 22:28

Not enough information. If one child had hugely higher income than the other or had a hugely different ability to look after themselves then maybe.

I have a friend who earns A LOT of money alongside her DH also earning a lot, her sister has a health condition that has limited her education and also earning potential. Their parents insist on treating them both equally. My friend passes the money she receives from them to her sister as she has absolutely no need for it and her sister is desperately on need of it.

Treating children fairly does not always mean treating them equally.

Largestlegocollectionever · 18/03/2025 22:25

No I’d give them both £10k each

mynumber · 18/03/2025 22:24

I'd never treat kids different to each other so no!

Motheranddaughter · 18/03/2025 22:23

No I would not

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