To report my son as missing?

Something about this story doesn’t make sense.

I’m sorry but you can be supportive and provide a safe space AND expect him to show you some respect and courtesy by at least sending you a text to say he won’t be back for a few days. A dead phone is a bollox excuse. Don’t be a doormat. Tell him you are happy for him to go where he wants etc but that you were worried out of your mind so in future expect at least a text and rough estimate of how long he will be MIA. Just because he’s your son doesn’t mean he gets to treat you like shit and if you were as close as you think you are he would def not treat you like this. Theres no excuse.

Are you okay @HerOopNorth?!

@NoStyleLeft The comments about the age discrepancy was ages ago now. I've accepted and even posted to say it was possibly a typo.

Can you too take the advice you're offering and just leave it?

It's old news and the thread's moved on.

If you want to pick away at posts maybe report those that say this is a wind-up/ fiction.

Agree with this.

Something isn’t right.

I wouldn’t be able to relax and until I had seen / spoken to my son.

Also, 22 or 42, if my son lived with me, I would want him to contact me if he wasn’t coming home for 5 nights. That’s just standard and how the world works, OP.

I very much hope your son is at his friends, OP, because personally I wouldn’t believe it till I’d seen it.

Even if he is, there’s something very wrong here and I’m surprised at how casual you are being about it.

It’s quite common to change some details on MN - whether that be age or number of DCs, their sex etc. It’s a wise thing to do. Whether OP’s son is 22 or 23 isn’t really pertinent to the thread, so I’d stop mentioning it really.

OP, I would be going to the friend’s house where he supposedly is. If he hasn’t been home, hasn’t been in contact and has missed work - I think he might need his mum. Go and get him.

Any news OP 🙏

This thread is insane. No ones behaviour is normal

Your son has been missing since Friday. Not contacted you. Not been to work. Allegedly no drugs involved

He's apparently just at a friend's house, but hasn't charged his phone since Friday. What 22yr old is happy to go without a phone for that long? Who of that age wouldn't have an available charger in their house since Friday? He's also not just hanging out because he's not been to work.

This behaviour would be incredibly alarming to most. Yet OP "doesn't want to invade his privacy". If this was a housemate I'd have called the police days ago.

Let's hope it's just for drama because fuck me

Do you live near Bristol OP? If so I would definitely be calling them or at least go to that friends so you know he is safe

Fair enough.

So you still haven't reported him as missing @stucky

Why not?

Edit: I noticed that an hour after starting the thread, the OP said someone told her the son was at a friends home with a dead phone. So maybe that's why the police haven't been involved.

Oh OP thank God. My son who still lives at home often stays with friends after a night out and doesn’t text to let us know. You literally can’t relax until you know they’re ok. Xxx

For your own sake, it would be a good idea to establish some kind of protocol. If he still lives at your house, he should really let you know where he is and when he's returning.

I hope you find your son ,any word from him ? x

If you report him missing and you have concerns for his safety the police will be able to check with his work, his bank and his phone records. I hope he turns up safely. But if you are concerned about his welfare and his safety it is irresponsible of you not to report him missing to the police.

I think we can probably guess, the fact he got ‘jumped’ last year and not turning up for work is very worrying in itself.

Going forward OP tell him he doesn’t get to worry you for days on end, it’s unfair and really no excuse these days when everyone has a mobile. My DS is around the same age and comes and goes but he always tells me if he’ll be back for dinner or if he’s staying round his girlfriends/friends and will be back after the weekend or whatever, it’s basic decency. He would also feed the bloody cat or if he was hungover incapacitated get someone else to do it for him. If I were you I’d be having words about the cat being left hungry too, he’s 22 not 12 and needs to be more responsible.

Are you scared of him OP?
Scared of his reaction if you involve the police?

What does this "close group of friends" look like? Lads he met at school/rugby club or a group of gangstas.

@chattychatter The thread has moved on since I asked those questions.
The OP answered. I and other posters have since posted again, ignoring what could be a typo of the age. (Pointing out that 2 and 3 are next to each on the key board isn't necessary. I made the suggestion of a typo myself.)

The other comments you made about what is the 'norm' re. privacy etc. Do you have children yourself? Teens or young adults at home? I really hope you enforce boundaries and some sense of basic respect for parents if you have.

Assuming he is ok and just at a friend's.
I would be fucking furious if one of ours did this.
22 or not, ours know to let us know where they are (within reason) so that we don't get unnecessarily concerned.
I'd suspect he had taken a shed load of drugs.

This.

Report him missing. What's the problem with doing that.?

If he turns up then just update the police of him bring found. If he doesn't turn up then at least the police are aware.

At a friend's house with a dead phone?
Sorry not wanting to alarm you but have you actually spoken to your son, if not I would still be concerned.

OP you really need to insist on seeing him or speaking to him at the very least. Get back in touch with the friend who told you he was fine and at another friend's house. Tell him to need an address and you need to see your son to see he is okay, or you are going to call the police immediately and you'll be giving them his name as a place to start with their Missing Person enquiries.

Why has he been unhappy recently? Do you think he's been given the sack and hasn't told you? Just because you don't think he's not involved in drugs doesn't mean he isn't. You need to pull your head out of the sand and push for answers TODAY.

Very odd all round. So he didn’t even pop back to feed the cats when you’re not there?

There are obviously other issues going on within this family.

I think this too. I don’t think it’s normal behaviour from a worried mum.