To report my son as missing?

Definitely should have reported the minute you had suspicion. My partner and I are in our early 20s and live together a few hours away from family. If my partners phone died and no one could get ahold of him I’d want it reported ASAP

FFS : if you are worried - if it’s out of the norm or it doesn’t feel or look quite right call the police (101 will do … 999 if it’s dangerous or life is at risk of course).
you don’t need to find people. You don’t need to worry about cost or wasting police time if something feels wrong. The police will judge when to action it.
And the police and their staff can access more phone info bank info car movements doctor info hospitals work data and other info. They can get loads of CCtV that the public can’t access.. if someone needs finding the police do this .. for free.. happily.

its just not a thing to discuss : if I’d not seen my neighbour for a day or so I’d be round checking and ringing the bell and damn right I’d call the police if I was worried.

Definitely report it.

It's Wednesday, steadily getting on for Thursday, and no-one has seen hide nor hair of him since Friday. That's not normal, even if he's got form for going to stay at a friends for a day or two.

He's only 22, and as he's still living under your roof, definitely not independent. He sounds like a fairly vulnerable young adult.

I understand your concern OP. DS was spiked on a night out when he was 18. Fortunately he made it home, I have always wondered how though, but then put his hand through the glass in our front door. We ended up in A&E and he has a huge scar on his hand as a result. I dread to think what may have happened if he hadn’t found a taxi though. He separated himself from his friends who had no idea he’d been spiked and there is a couple of hours he can account for since he has no memory of the night.
He’s now 20 and at uni. I try not to worry, he is much more street wise than I give him credit.

But he recently visited a friend in another big uni city. I woke up to a message that he’d lost his wallet. His problem was that it had his ID in it, my problem was that it also had his bank card in it and therefore access to his full term of maintenance grant. Fortunately he contacted the nightclub he’d been in and it had been handed in. Also he had transferred nearly all his money into his savings account thus reassuring me that he is actually starting to adult.

I have learned to let go but he is pretty good at keeping in touch and is happy to stay on find my phone so I can reassure myself he is safe when he doesn’t return home after a night out. I think after the spiking incident it’s as much for him as me. He does text me if he’s not coming home often in the middle of the night. I don’t ask him to but after a year at uni and on a couple of occasions worrying about friends who have gone awol he understands that it is worrying.

I don’t expect him to do it when he’s away but when he’s home it’s just good manners.

I’m sure he will talk when he’s ready. I’m lucky that DS’s friends will usually tell me if h s got up to anything embarrassing.

Looks like 3 young men in the past month have been found in the same body of water.

I just googled 'Bristol young men' which now I think of it looks dodgy af.

He’s not a “boy”

he’s a very vulnerable young adult

and I would be doing bloody anything and everything in the OP’s shoes, aside from just mumsnetting by the look of it

This. ^ A 22 year old is not a 'boy.'

Have you actually spoken to him yet @stucky???

How many is “multiple” and how recent is “recently”? @Miloarmadillo2

Multiple bodies of young men discovered locally recently, all having ‘gone missing’ on night out.

Why are you reluctant to involve the police OP?

Please ring the police. I work for search and rescue and work with the police for missing people.

if you phone them now they can start work on it. Don’t wait any longer.

If this is real it's so clearly a police matter. I have to wonder, OP, if you are afraid of what you'll find out. Is there anyone who can sit with you to make the call, or call on your behalf?

Has he gone to work today? I'd definitely report him missing.

I'd be on the phone to the police the second I knew he hadn't shown up for work (if I didn't know the friends address)

Oh I didn’t realise..
I read through OPs posts clearly too quickly 🙈
which I can have a habit of doing ..I knew he hadn’t been to work yesterday & his phone dead since Saturday alright …
OP I would go to police & send them to where he is supposed to be ..
Sending the best wishes & thoughts Xxx

Phone now.

I would have reported already if out of character.hope you hear something soon. Please report to the police.

OP doesnt know this for sure - she has had third hand info that he is at a friends house, he hasnt gone to work and his phone has been dead since Friday.

OP, when I shared a flat with a friend 20 years ago we had an unspoken agreement to let eachother know if we werent coming home, or if we didnt come home we would get a message to the eachother somehow - so if your DS phone is dead then get a mate to text you. Anything.

Call the police - you have no way of knowing if this third hand info is true

He routinely feeds the pets when you are away which he hasn't. Also, hasn't turned up for work. Out of character but probably at a friend's. Can you see when he was last active on his phone?

Please still try to locate him. I would be beside myself too and it must be terrifying making a missing person's call - admitting to yourself that there is a possibility that someone has come to harm but you said it was out of character and that is enough reason. 98% agree to make the call. I am really hoping all well.

So delighted to see update your son is safe 🙏🥳🥳 !!!!
I was thinking about you & your son all morning as I went about my day ..
Really glad all is well ☺️ Xxx

'Having a dead phone' is no excuse for not letting the people you live with, or your employer, know where you are and what is happening. Borrow a charger, borrow a phone, find a surviving payphone, ask a business if you can use their phone, get on a computer and send a message that way. Or get your arse home or to work as expected.

FFS, we did better than this back when it was find a phone box or knock on a random door and ask to use their landline!

I'd still be worried — but I'm also way out of date and generally horrified about what is considered acceptable behaviour these days. This would not be.

Quite a few young lads have gone missing in Bristol recently.

hey, quick one just for ref, you're not really helping.

Everything in this thread is very weird, including this family dynamic. If he lives in your house, he should let you know that he will be away for a few days out of respect, so that you know that the pets need fed, and you won't worry about him.
Not going to work, and not even calling sick, just disappearing, is very alarming imo.

What’s the relevance?