To report my son as missing?

Eh?

Hope everything works out ok OP.
My DS is a similar age & I’d br out of my mind with worry.
It’s a bit odd about the phone.
In my experience they’d never go that long without charging and would be desperate to borrow a charger from someone.

I find it really hard to believe that a 22 year old wouldn’t charge their phone. Most phones have the same charger nowadays so if he really was with a friend then he’d borrow the charger. I get the feeling that this isn’t one of his usual friends and he’s crashing down from days of drinking and/or drugs and missed work.

If he is not wanting contact and you report him to the police would this make it worse?

I definitely wouldn’t be going on a vague suggestion that he’s supposedly at someone’s house, especially if he’s not been to work either OP, I’d still report him missing.
How reliable is the person who told you?
Can you go to the house and check?

Have you reported him missing? It isn’t clear from your posts. It is a good sign that one of his friends thinks he is at another friend’s house but it sounds very vauge.

Given you have tried to contact him, and hopefully his friends will have also tried, I really think you are doing the right thing to report him missing.

(If he is at a friends house as you say the police following it yo won’t do any harm but might give him a nudge to be more considerate)

My DS is early 30s now and I probably would have done similar to you, the thing that would make me most alarmed would not be turning up at work, it is very difficult when they are adult to know quite what to do. Has he ever not been to work before, does he like his job. It's a lot easier when they don't live at home and you don't know their comings and goings.

If you know the friend he’s supposedly with can you give the police that information and ask them to do a welfare check? I’d be worried he’s maybe injured or been mugged.

Report him missing. Hope he is ok. Have you friends in real life who can hug, talk to you x

Your son is actually missing so it would be a good idea to report it. Hopefully he'll turn up in which case no harm done. You need to phone.

I would still report him missing as it's out of character for him to stay out of touch this long and not attend work, not have recharged his phone.

I think in your shoes I would check he’s actually there and ok. You seem to be intimating he has mental health issues and if this is the case with your ds, he’s vulnerable.

I’ve been in OP’s situation but it was my adult 20 something sibling who went missing. You don’t want to invade their privacy, but you have real concerns over their well being. it’s not a straightforward decision once it’s you who has to make it. It’s hard to know. 22 is no longer a child. I did report then missing, but it was a full 48 hours after I first realized.

I hope your son is okay, OP. This is an awful time for you, I know.

Edited to add that I was responding to a poster that was asking why OP had not reported her son missing earlier. (I lost the ‘quote’ somehow.)

Yeah, sorry OP I wouldn't be happy with that. 22yo's will go to the ends of the earth to charge their phone. Can you get the address of where he is from the friend you spoke to and drive over now. Tomorrow can you find out if he rang in sick to work or just didn't turn up. Ring his company , someone should know if he called or just did a no-show. That makes a big difference I think.
You poor thing. 22yo boys can be absolute idiots sometimes and not thoughtful of others. ( They do improve thankfully)

Gosh what a worry for you OP. Thank god you managed to locate him. How strange that he has not managed to charge his phone since Friday and not turned up to work! Hope he comes home soon and you can get more to the bottom of it all- although I appreciate since he’s an adult not much you can do really.

Odd that he didn’t turn up for work. I’d be inclined to think he’s using drugs at the weekend, most likely cocaine and been on a massive bender and now on a massive comedown.

Or he’s struggling a bit with life and couldn’t be bothered to turn up for work or rang in sick.

I’m glad someone’s seen him/knows of his whereabouts -but if he lives with you I’d be having a chat with him to make sure everything’s okay when he does return to yours.

Pp saying that everyone charges their phones, not if they don't have a compatible phone to the household charger.

This has happened to me although I only heard about it from my ds's gf who he lived with. Who became his exgf soon after it, and I don't blame her.
My ds was on some sort of bender I don't need the details of, phone died and no one had a charger for his non-iphone phone.

I hope this is what's happened op. Very worrying behaviour but I can say that my ds has grown out of it since graduating/leaving university and has new friends and a job he loves.

Someone saying he is at a friends is a bit like Chinese Whispers. Could you go to this friend’s house in the morning to check up?I hope he’s ok.

I sound a bit distrustful but if you haven't spoken to him yourself how do you know he's actually at a friend's with a dead phone? How do they know his phone is dead? Everyone charges their phones. He hasn't gone to work either.

This is very strange I'm afraid. I hope he comes home soon.

Tell him when he gets home he is banned from staying anywhere that doesn’t have a compatible charger

obviously in joking but nice to hear he is fine

What a relief for you that he is with friends. I hope you can get some rest now and then tackle him when he returns. It sounds like there may be some issues that need addressing

I hope he is ok and I hope you are ok. I don't understand why people are frantically quizzing you over your reactions and who you spoke to or didn't.

Sometimes this place really makes me doubt the fabric of society.

Hope he’s ok and gets home soon.

All adults should know one phone number (not their own) of by heart - it always amazes me when people don’t! I know my partner’s so could borrow a phone to call him if I needed.

I think OP if I’m right you’ve heard via friend he’s ok? But have you spoken to him yourself, I think I’d need to see chat to him. I hope he’s ok.