To report my son as missing?

I guess the 23 yo is also this 22 yo. And they might actually be 21 or 24. Does it matter? People change small inconsequential details all the time to avoid being recognised. I know I do.

Something isn't right though. Now you've been told he's alive at least (if not necessarily alive and well) I'd be wanting to speak to him immediately. I'd be hugely concerned that he's not gone to work. I don't know if that's at all normal for him and whether he's known to be a bit flaky and irresponsible, in and out of casual work and a bit of a feckless stoner or cokehead, but if not I'd be extremely worried.

Is he in some sort of trouble? Is he hurt or ill, is he having a bad comedown from drugs or is he hiding from someone?

I would not be able to relax until I'd found out. I hope it's nothing too bad OP. I know what a worry they can be, even at this age when you'd hope they'd know better they still do stupid things sometimes.

Ring the bank explain and ask when they last used it? But yes ring the police

You say in your other posts that your children are 14 and 23.

Which child is missing?

This isn't making any sense @stucky

Is there more to this than you're saying here?

Did you row?
Is he likely to take drugs?
Were you at home all weekend or staying with your partner?

I can't understand why his privacy is more important than his safety if he's been missing for several days.

Something's going on that you're not saying.

I would not be happy to settle for second hand information that he’s with an unspecified friend. He’s not managed to charge his phone or get in touch for 4 days? Not been into work without calling in sick for 2? Get details and ask the police to do a welfare check. If he’s just massively hungover then he will be embarrassed into behaving better and not frightening you again but he may actually be in trouble.

Your son IS missing though, so I would definitely report

I didn't mention the hopsital giving out Information.
My local hospital you can ring and the main switchboard will tell you if someone of that name is a patient in the hospital and what ward they are on.
I have to ring maybe 8 times a year within my job trying to track people

I didn't mention the hopsital giving out Information.

My local hospital you can ring and the main switchboard will tell you if someone of that name is a patient in the hospital and what ward they are on.

I have to ring maybe 8 times a year within my job trying to track people.

She probably has 2 DS's and posts about them separately

She's got two DC. One of them is 22/3.

I wouldn’t take this friends word for it. Have the police check he is there.

Having a dead phone for days is unheard of. The first thing my daughter and her friends do when they come over to stay is hunt down anyone’s phone chargers.

I would definitely check on him. He is your son and may need your help. Don’t just leave him.

Sorry but I’m in actual disbelief here. You don’t actually know if he is with a friend as you haven’t had this confirmed with said friend. Nor have you actually spoken to your son.

Unless there is something you are purposefully missing out here, then this is all incredibly suspicious and tbh sounds like the beginning of some crime documentary.

WAKE UP and get on the phone to the police for gods sake. You are losing valuable time here.

I've had two siblings, both in their early 20's, a few years ago, decide to go "missing." Both vulnerable due to their age and both had different reasons. My mum wanted to respect their privacy and not embarrass my brother at uni and my sister not at her home.

I refused to listen and reported both siblings, at their various stages of disappearance as a police welfare check. A simple call and it eased the worry.

Both were OK and just decided they needed to dissappear. However as I explained to both that it's fine, they needed headspace. But they don't have a right to cause unnecessary worry, by refusing to check in and just explain they need space.

OP please just make the call and just do a simple welfare check and deal with the grumbles from your son afterwards. I hope his ok.

Did you actually report him missing? I would be going out of my mind still. Can you go to friends' house to check on him?

I would check that he is definitely at the friends house.

I’d still be wanting to speak to him.

Hope you're ok and he's home soon

Have you actually spoken to him? If not, I'd still be reporting what you know and getting a welfare check if this is v out of character.

This isn't helpful at all. You don't know the circumstances. Why have a go if someone is already in a very bad place?

Hope he is home soon. You’re not unreasonable at all to worry where he is; at his age he has to just let you know where he is now and again; it’s only fair.

Your fixation in ensuring his privacy is respected is too much. He has a right to privacy but this is not that. It is inconsiderate and disrespectful best case. Worst case he needs help urgently.

Go and see him.

Exactly this, I wouldn't be satisfied with this kind of vague/flimsy information. Why didn't you ask that person for more details - which friend and which house, so you can contact them or go and check yourself? Also if he is unwell, chances are he would have called in sick at work, not just a no-show.