To report my son as missing?

Nobody was "being nasty to you for trying to be kind and supportive".

Nobody.

You posted a "kind and supportive" comment, and somebody else posted a 100% non-agressive, non-critical reply telling you that he was already home.

The problem was that then you decided to go off on one, being sarky and hostile with your "And you felt the need to tell me this because ?".

An attitude you then doubled down on, to the point that one of your replies had to be deleted.

And it's that behaviour which has attracted all the criticism.

I think it was people being nasty to me for trying to be kind and supportive when I had very little time!

hi everyone, he's home and unscathed. He's not in a great headspace and has asked for some counselling. We have quite a complex history with DV and I think he's being impacted by unresolved trauma.

I read some comments about gentle parent and how it can create lazy, complacent adults or something to that affect.

I am not a shouter, I don't like punitive measures and I trust my son. We have a good relationship and are very close. I don't feel and have never felt the need to breach his privacy as an adult until this weekend.
When he was jumped, he was with his girlfriend and they called me and let me know what had happened. We FaceTimed and I offered to go over, I wanted to be with him. I respected his decision to not have me there. I try to be respectful of his decisions and by no means claim to be a perfect parent. I really wasn't coming on here to have my parenting judged from snapshots of information.
Colleagues and friends of mine are police officers and I know how stretched services are. I didn't want to involve them unless it was absolutely necessary and all other avenues of enquiry had been explored. I was right in my decision and my actions yesterday have resulted in him coming home,
for what it's worth.

I can tell you that I was worried about a million things and had concerns about his welfare last night. Felt like an awful mum and in those moments, which I believe we alll have, I did not want or need affirmation of my darkest fears and failings from strangers on the internet.

I am going to remove this thread at 8pm but wanted to thank those posters that were supportive and kind. It really helped, as I said I needed unbiased opinions so thank you so much.

i hope you all have a peaceful, uneventful evening. I will not be responding to any more posts but am appreciative of the concern felt for my family and I.

How is this helpful?

Report him missing doh!

Now you know that if a threads been running a while there a risk of making oneself look silly, no need to be nasty to people

Your post didn’t portray that though, did it? You only spoke about your mum punching you in the face for being late home.

People can only make assumptions on what they are told.

No matter how you dress it up, most mothers don’t go around punching their kids in the face.

My god you nasty mumsnetters are like a pack of hyenas! I was busy but wanted to be kind and show her some support ! It’s clearly a crime now among you non-perfect idiots! 🤷‍♀️

Your post didn’t portray that though, did it? You only spoke about your mum punching you in the face for being late home.

People can only make assumptions on what they are told.

No matter how you dress it up, most mothers don’t go around punching their kids in the face.

Please do what? 🙄😂

My mum was loving and kind and supportive and sweet.
She was also very beautiful.
She freaked herself out on one single occasion.
We both learned a lesson that night.
Lol at your “violent thugs.” My mum isn’t alive any more, but she’d laugh her arse off too.
I just love how people take one single experience from a complete stranger’s life and judge their entire existence on it.
Sooo very fair and balanced.
Sooo very you, evidently (see how easy that is?).

My mum was loving and kind and supportive and sweet.
She was also very beautiful.
She freaked herself out on one single occasion.
We both learned a lesson that night.
Lol at your “violent thugs.” My mum isn’t alive any more, but she’d laugh her arse off too.
I just love how people take one single experience from a complete stranger’s life and judge their entire existence on it.
Sooo very fair and balanced.
Sooo very you, evidently (see how easy that is?).

Presumably because you couldn't be arsed to even read the OP's updates?

Most of us - mercifully - were raised by loving caring Mothers. Not violent thugs.

And you felt the need to tell me this because ?

And you felt the need to tell me this because ?