Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sell the story, if so to who?

316 replies

cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 20:15

I'm unsure about this but I'm on dating sites and as we all know it's full of parasites.

I was speaking to an elected councillor who I thought was decent, he sent me nudes, vulgar text etc. He swiftly deleted it but it's really wrong, I have screenshot etc. He was disgusting.

I'm not on about selling per se for money but we shouldn't have creeps like this representing us.

OP posts:
StolenChanel · 18/03/2025 21:58

This is so weird. I’m just here to see what happens next… 🍿

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:58

Sorry I totally missed he sent nude photos - thought he was asking for them - which is vile but not a crime (on strong painkillers after a fall).

I would report to police and not sell a story

wordler · 18/03/2025 21:58

DressOrSkirt · 18/03/2025 21:45

Sending unsolicited nude photos is illegal.

Show quote history

But it’s the ‘unsolicited’ bit that is contestable.

Depending on the dating site - depending on the dating profile - depending on the initial interactions. Depending on the whether he assumed her following him up on a different platform meant she was really interested in more of the ‘disgusting’ chat.

OP says he deleted the pics when she didn’t respond with interest. It’s possible he screwed up by using his official device for those messages so that could get him into trouble.

Efrogwraig · 18/03/2025 21:56

There is a very strict Code of Conduct for councillors. You can make a formal complaint via the Monitoring Officer of the council. Their name & email address will be on the council website.

JanglingJack · 18/03/2025 21:56

More tea vicar?

I just don't understand... Why you knew who he was, and you googled to make sure.

Okay, because if it Bob from the chip shop then... Today's newspapers are tomorrow's fish and chip... Nevermind.

Not even an MP?

I'd be over the moon if it was Jacob Rees Mogg! Not for you OP, I'd personally crows fund your therapy.

But... How did you recognise him to Google him?

2021x · 18/03/2025 21:55

Report to Police. It’s a crime.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 18/03/2025 21:55

OneWaryCat · 18/03/2025 20:32

What was horrible about the messages? If they were 'just' vulgar then sadly that is a lot of men on dating sites. What is vulgar to you might be a turn on to someone else. Sending unsolicited nudes is obviously gross, but unless this man is married, you were on a dating site and talking to each other for the purposes of romance. He's clearly misread the signals and might be a bit inappropriate, but is any of it really a crime? Or are you breaching his privacy because of his job?

This. How grubby of you op. He hasn't covered himself in glory but neither have you

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 18/03/2025 21:54

It’s messages like this that make me wonder no wonder men think it’s ok to send unsolicited nudes. Would it be ok for him to flash her in person too?
Nevermind the fact he’s in a position whereby he’s supposed to have a higher level of conduct 🤦‍♀️

EDIT - no idea where the message I was quoting has gone. But it basically said it’s normal to send nudes to strangers

Latenightreader · 18/03/2025 21:54

lifeonmars100 · 18/03/2025 21:38

You found a local councillor's phone number on a government website? this sounds highly improbable....

Show quote history

As a former councillor I can assure you it really isn't that uncommon - I'm assuming op means the local council website which will have a gov.uk suffix. Phone numbers will also be on calling cards and election material. We weren't given mobiles by the council so the choice was give out your own number or the town hall could be used and messages passed on. I didn't have mine on the council website but most of my colleagues did.

MyrtleLion · 18/03/2025 21:53

cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 21:42

Thanks, I worded it wrong. I don't want money I just wanted to expose. Thanks.

Show quote history

It's actually a crime. Cyberflashing.

If you genuinely want to expose him, report him to the police.

Information on why it's a crime is here:
https://www.cps.gov.uk/cps/news/illegal-sexual-behaviour-online-including-sharing-and-threatening-share-intimate-images

Illegal sexual behaviour online including sharing and threatening to share intimate images and cyberflashing targeted in new CPS guidance | The Crown Prosecution Service

https://www.cps.gov.uk/cps/news/illegal-sexual-behaviour-online-including-sharing-and-threatening-share-intimate-images

NetZeroZealot · 18/03/2025 21:51

Whoarethoseguys · 18/03/2025 20:31

They won't be their personal numbers though, just their office numbers

Show quote history

Not true. Many councillors have their personal mobile numbers on council websites.

RobertaFirmino · 18/03/2025 21:50

Blackmail him. Find something that really needs to be sorted in your community and tell him he needs to make it happen or you'll spill the beans!

JanglingJack · 18/03/2025 21:48

JanglingJack · 18/03/2025 21:42

So he's not local, but you recognised him.
Maybe I've given on my merry band of thieving councillors, but I still wouldn't know their faces (robbers wear masks) or names.
Let alone someone who worked for a different council...

I missed a lot of words out there...

Mr Deliveroo came to the door. I was distracted by his large delivery of healthy foods so I don't have to go shops in the morning 😭

DressOrSkirt · 18/03/2025 21:45

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Show quote history

Sending unsolicited nude photos is illegal.

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:45

Sorry for multiple posts 🤦🏼‍♀️

JaniceBattersby · 18/03/2025 21:44

I am a local newspaper reporter. No local papers in this country pay for stories.

This councillor (and many do have their mobile numbers on their council profiles) has potentially committed a criminal offence so you should go to the police, his party, and the council’s monitoring officer.

I’m sure your local newspaper would also appreciate a tip-off, although they likely won’t be able to run anything until the charging stage due to privacy laws (thanks Cliff!)

BringMeTea · 18/03/2025 21:43

Lots of the menz gruntz crawling over this thread. Gotta defend a fellow scrote. 😄

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:33

So he was horrible on the app

you found / stalked his mobile

and then messaged him thereby giving this person your mobile number. The person who was a “bit horrible” on the app

Show quote history

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Swipe left for the next trending thread