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Original poster

For wanting to kick guests out my house

41 replies

Rachelyellik · 18/03/2025 17:12

I’m about to blow my lid. Ds is 1 and a half and likes to try and climb on everything. We’re having DH’s family over (he invited them to stay I wasn’t on board.) They’re constantly criticising what we do wrong and making us seem unfit to be parents ( we have 2 dc.) Ds hurt himself by trying to hold on to the chair and tipping over with it, of course in front of DH’s family. This caused them to say “we could’ve prevented him from hurting himself” although kids hurt themselves all the time and no one’s keeping a tally of all the accidents we do prevent. Next they started making worrying comments about how he could have a brain injury and telling us horror stories about people who are paralysed. Dc barely cried a minute and was back to his normal playful self. God if they seen some of the accidents my eldest has had they’d have a cow. I just left and went in the bedroom but I’m ready to blow and lid. DH did ask them to stop and I can’t really fault him for the behaviour of his family I just think it’s so cruel to be commenting on an accident when the parents already feel bad and guilty enough. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

OP posts:
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Brefugee · 19/03/2025 13:04

Rachelyellik · 18/03/2025 17:27

I do try keeping the peace and not starting friction but I don’t think it’s right making horrible comments to already stressed parents. Just trying to rub salt in the wound. I did tell DH how annoyed I was and he understood but it puts him in a horrible situation. And they’re not bad for the most part. I really like them I just didn’t appreciate the comments.

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the easiest way to get rid is to find your voice, surely?
Go out all day and don't be available for criticism and if they start up say "well, nobody asked your opinion" etc etc

Tell your DH that if he ever invites guests again without discussing/agreeing with you, you will take yourself and DC to your parents until they have gone (can you do this for the rest of the week?)

Lokens · 19/03/2025 13:02

You are another woman in an abusive relationship with a selfish nasty bullying pig.

Have you family to help you?
You need to call Womens aid for advice and support.

This is not a good man.

Maddy70 · 19/03/2025 12:28

They sound like hard work but nothing dreadful. They are over anxious that's all. Get your DH to speak to them about critical comments

Garlicgarlicgarlic · 19/03/2025 12:14

Your husband sounds awful, consider if such a vile man makes your life easier, fun and if you feel cherished by him. If not, take steps to improve your life.

Original poster
Rachelyellik · 19/03/2025 12:03

MarkWithaC · 19/03/2025 10:17

We’re having DH’s family over (he invited them to stay I wasn’t on board.)
This is your problem, and the fact that he leaves you to host.
Next time he invites them, tell him you'll be spending the duration of the visit elsewhere (with or without the kids, whichever suits you).
Then follow up on it. Go and stay with family or friends, or take a holiday if resources allow.
He's taking the piss, disrespecting you and treating you like staff.

This is a bit off topic from OP, but DH left me for work to host his family. Previous to this I was a bit angry with some of the things he just expected me to do and I brought up how much he makes in order to show him how much he is benefitting from the relationship while I’m not. He sat me down and called me horrible basically and not acting like a wife because I said this. Meanwhile he expects me to host his family, take care of the kids, do the cooking and cleaning and put up with horrible comments. I’m here juggling trying to please everyone and I’m the disrespectful one. This has opened my eyes.

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Nowvoyager99 · 19/03/2025 11:46

Tell him the situation wouldn’t be reversed because you would never be rude enough to put him in that position. I.e. inviting your family to stay and not taking time off to host them.

He really has a fucking nerve. I would go to bed really early.

MarkWithaC · 19/03/2025 10:17

We’re having DH’s family over (he invited them to stay I wasn’t on board.)
This is your problem, and the fact that he leaves you to host.
Next time he invites them, tell him you'll be spending the duration of the visit elsewhere (with or without the kids, whichever suits you).
Then follow up on it. Go and stay with family or friends, or take a holiday if resources allow.
He's taking the piss, disrespecting you and treating you like staff.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 19/03/2025 09:30

Rachelyellik · 18/03/2025 17:16

It all happened so fast. He was being watched and had just been moved from falling off the couch. He had just grabbed the chair and fell. Nobody should’ve been blamed but they wanted to comment even after I’ve heard countless stories of how their young kids used to hurt themselves.

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Each and every time they comment then bring up one of the old stories. 'Ah well at least it isn't as bad as the time you were telling me when BIL broke his arm on his new skateboard', 'Doesn't look like it will scar, you know DH still has that big scar on his knee from when he fell out of your tree.' They will soon sicken of it or will waft off into memories.

Plus of course the important activities which you already had booked to keep you sane. 'I am off to a friend's house, been in the diary for months, do you want me to drop you in town on the way?'.

HomeBodyClub · 19/03/2025 09:06

Rachelyellik · 19/03/2025 09:01

What did your DH say? I don’t think it would go down well.

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He doesn’t like guests either.

Can you not say to them ‘What are you planning to do with your day? I’m off to meet my mum friends’ and let them occupy themselves? They could be taking themselves out for lunch. I don’t see why you need to stay with them all day.

Original poster
Rachelyellik · 19/03/2025 09:01

HomeBodyClub · 19/03/2025 09:00

I’ll never understand why these people don’t book hotels.

I put my foot down and no longer have anyone stay, not even for one night. Guests weren’t respecting my house and it was me left to clean up after everyone. Never again.

What did your DH say? I don’t think it would go down well.

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HomeBodyClub · 19/03/2025 09:00

I’ll never understand why these people don’t book hotels.

I put my foot down and no longer have anyone stay, not even for one night. Guests weren’t respecting my house and it was me left to clean up after everyone. Never again.

Hallebere · 19/03/2025 09:00

The best way to deal with this in my experience is to laugh it off. I usually say ah well he'll have to learn his limits. Just downplay it. If they start telling horror stories just say you lot have been watching too many episodes of casualty. Kids learn to manage their own risks. Etc etc. No need to get wound up just downplay everything and they'll get the message without confrontation.

Original poster
Rachelyellik · 19/03/2025 08:58

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 19/03/2025 08:53

Oh for goodness sake. Your husband needs to wake up and realise that his family come to see him. To spend time with him. The grandkids yes, but him too. Not you! He absolutely needed to book time off work to host his family. He's taking you for granted with all of this.

I agree. I originally didn’t mind too much because I get on with them like my own. The comments did annoy me and I needed to vent. It’s the first time they’ve ever even slightly annoyed me. They’re great people but we all say silly things. I do think now he is taking the mick not spending time with us all though. I need my privacy I can’t do that hosting all the time.

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Justkeepingplatesspinning · 19/03/2025 08:53

Oh for goodness sake. Your husband needs to wake up and realise that his family come to see him. To spend time with him. The grandkids yes, but him too. Not you! He absolutely needed to book time off work to host his family. He's taking you for granted with all of this.

IlooklikeNigella · 19/03/2025 08:49

"these comments really don't help"
"I have no idea why you think it's appropriate to say things like that"
"I'm getting very tired of the judgment. If you want to help that would be great."

Lokens · 19/03/2025 08:48

Your marriage sounds toxic.
Your husband sounds awful.
Can you pack up and visit your family?
This is your life for as long as you will tolerate it.

rainbowstardrops · 19/03/2025 08:44

Bloody hell, that would annoy me as well! Oh and I'd be telling DH in no uncertain terms, that if he ever thinks it's a good idea to host them again then it will be HIM who's around all day to look after them!

Original poster
Rachelyellik · 19/03/2025 08:43

BoxOfCats · 19/03/2025 06:23

Don't be a doormat, OP. It's not your job to entertain them or placate them.

I went with a friend yesterday and came back midday. He was very cold after watching the kids. Barely talked to me and acted like I had just spat in his face. Then informed me since I was out he’d have to work all night which means I’m hosting again. He would never do this if roles were reversed? Feeling very used and don’t want another situation or judgemental comment.

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Kisskiss · 19/03/2025 06:44

He should tell them to stop with the useless comments

BoxOfCats · 19/03/2025 06:23

Don't be a doormat, OP. It's not your job to entertain them or placate them.

jannier · 18/03/2025 20:00

Why didn't you tell him to book time off if he wanted his parents to stay?
I'd still ask why they didn't stop the accident if they could have prevented it.

Original poster
Rachelyellik · 18/03/2025 19:38

Nowvoyager99 · 18/03/2025 18:06

He needs to be told this never happens again.

He invites, he hosts. Ask him how he would feel hosting your parents alone whilst you disappeared at work all day. Selfish fucker.

He don’t really think much of it. They were disappointed too that he hadn’t taken the week off as they should be.

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Cherrysoup · 18/03/2025 18:43

Rachelyellik · 18/03/2025 17:37

nope so guess who is hosting?

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I'd be having serious words with him and organising myself to be out of the house as much as possible. Why does your DH think this is OK? Are they often at yours? Tell him next time, they stfu and he takes the entire time off work. Surely you have better things to be cracking on with?

Nowvoyager99 · 18/03/2025 18:06

He needs to be told this never happens again.

He invites, he hosts. Ask him how he would feel hosting your parents alone whilst you disappeared at work all day. Selfish fucker.

Original poster
Rachelyellik · 18/03/2025 17:44

Yalta · 18/03/2025 17:43

That would annoy me more than anything.

If he invited them he hosts them. Any chance you could book an Airbnb and disappear for a few days with dc and leave them to it.

I mean having you and dc around is actually stressing them out so act like you are doing them a favour by going away for a few days

I have already suggested getting a hotel. Everyone thought I was outrageous and trying to spend loads of money. What’s the price on peace? I’ll pay every penny.

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