DS was hit in the face by a child at school

This. Why on earth was a group of kids following a distressed pupil around? Were they tormenting him? Laughing at him? Trying to wind him up further? Worth considering what we DON'T know in this scenario.

Im sorry your son was hurt. I think everyone here behaved poorly and you should talk to your son about how to deal with a similar situation in future. Absolutely not his fault he was in the way of a meltdown but all you can control here is how your son behaves - and he absolutely is old enough to learn to leave someone alone who has been very clear in wanting to be left alone. I am 100% sure the older child shouldn’t have lashed out, but I’m also fairly certain it was rather annoying to be followed by a group of small children when you were having a bad day.

my kids are the same ish age difference and my older daughter is autistic. When she’s having a bad time, my son following her and asking her if she’s okay is 100% going to make it all worse. We had to work on this a lot with him to avoid escalations where possible.

A gang 😂😂 hardly gonna be like a scene out of casino is it.

So OP’s year 2 son deserved a smack in the face e for not minding his own business? Do you extend that belief to everyone?

I'm sorry he got hit, however the school has dealt with it so I'm not sure what else you'd be trying to achieve?

As staff, I'd be wondering why a bunch of yr 2-3's followed a yr 6 who was trying to cool down and be alone. Are they friends with him? Because when children are genuinely concerned, they usually give space and tell an adult that there's a child crying or whatever in a corner. Children who go as a group up to that child, tbh I'd be wondering why they're doing that. A group of children is not comforting unless it's your actual mates, which the younger children are unlikely to be.

I'm not excusing the hitting, however, it sounds as if that has been dealt with by the school and presumably they know the situation better than people on the internet. Maybe this child goes around lamping every child he sees, or maybe he has difficulties communicating effectively when he's upset and that's why he was looking for space. I feel as if it's more likely to be the latter.

The year 6 boy acted correctly by recognising that he was getting angry so got physical distance from the situation.
Hitting isn’t the correct response but he asked for space and should have been granted it.
I think that OP’s son probably meant well and should be complimented for that but encourage him to listen to what other kids say and get adult help if needed or worried.
Sometimes people want to be left alone for a bit and that’s ok.

The 10/11 year old was doing what they needed to do to calm down.

ND kids deserve an education too. In this situation it would be better if the child was given a quieter place to go to be calm. The younger kids need to learn when to back off. This is the role of both the school and the parents to teach them.

I'd be sympathetic that he got hit, but ask him if he now understood why the other child goes to a particular area to cool down away from others.

I wouldn't voice my suspicions that what actually happened was that they had been winding him up or outright upsetting him and thought as a pack that it would be funny to keep on bugging him to see what happened next.

They were a gang of 7 year olds.
I really doubt a Year 6 kid needed looking after by a group of Year 2s, they’ll likely have been either rubber necking or actively provoking him.
Minding their own business could hardly be described as “dancing to his tune”.

ND children are not playthings for kids.

I find it hard to believe a group of boys decided to go see if he was ok. More believe-able they went to torment him, in which case FAFO.

Even if they did go to see if he was ok, the bit between “are you ok” and the kid being hit is what’s important. It would be unusual if it went nuclear immediately. ND kids aren’t going around slapping NT kids at the drop of a hat, there is usually some trigger.

No child should be at risk of being hit, but equally no child should be at risk of being pushed to the point where they hit. Teaching NT kids how to interact with ND kids is something parents should be looking at.

What a way to victim blame.

^

What a way to teach boundaries!

Your ds should have left the other kid alone, the older kid shouldn't be lamping anyone.

Lesson learnt, move on

This.

1. The child who hit yours is being dealt with.
2. You were informed.
3. Your child needs to also reflect about leaving others alone.

So if your 7 year old hit an 11 year back, would you expect that to be the end? No chance that the 11 year old would hit back again?

I am in no way condoning what the 11 year did but I think the last thing the OP should be doing is encouraging him to hit back.

That was my first thought. Seems a bit odd that a little boy would punch another little boy for asking if he’s OK.

Yes!!!!!! 💯

Very similar incidence with my 9 year old son today, although not that he’d approached a child, just that a child had lashed out in frustration during a lunchtime activity. Phoned by Head who explained my son’s injuries and how he’d been treated before returning to class. Then explained incident and that other child was suspended, and that they were putting in additional safeguarding measures for when child returns to school. I feel sad that my son is hurt (cuts and grazes to face), but very reassured by the response from school. Head offered me an appointment if I’d like to go in and discuss further but in reality it’s been dealt with, my son was fine when I picked him up and we just move on.

A child age 10/11 who, for whatever reason, finds self regulation tricky will be taught strategies to help them avoid lashing out at others. One of those strategies will have been to walk away or take themselves off away from everyone else. So the older boy was quite probably doing exactly as he'd had been taught to do. Lunchtime supervision cannot possibly notice everything straight away.
Younger children, for whatever reason, decided to follow him and wouldn't leave him alone. So now the older boy can't do what he's been taught and it all goes wrong. It's not an excuse for hitting but is a very good explanation of why it happened. Older boy is now in trouble and your ds got hurt, frustrating for both. Focus on your ds and learning about when to leave people alone and give them space. School will deal with the older boy in the way that's suitable for him.

This.

I think a lot of people don’t realise the reality of our Primary schools.

You have several different scenarios here. Did your son know the Year 6 child had gone off to 'cool down'? In most schools regardless of the year group, most children are aware of the children who can be volatile. If your son was aware the older child, had gone off to cool down or it was likely, then he should have respected that fact and kept away. If your son wasn't aware why the older boy had gone onto the field, and was concerned, then he should have gone to a member of staff for help. The Year 6 child acted correctly by taking himself off to be alone to calm down. Very obviously he shouldn't have lashed out. Children can and do, keep going up to children who want 'alone time' for whatever reason and ask if they're OK. They are then repeatedly told by the other child that they are having alone time and to please go away. Still those children keep coming up, until the other child either verbally is nasty or lashes out. The school have dealt with the issue, they clearly know the other child's behaviour. Staff members can't be everywhere all the time, that's impossible and unrealistic. Talk to your son about respecting others space and also if he is concerned about a child, then to speak to an adult.

Happened to my child as well. Apparantly mine had been following the other kid who repeatedly told him to "leave me alone". I couldn't blame anyone for this. My child being ASD had decided he wanted to play with this boy, the poor boy in question had enough and lashed out and school staff can't be everywhere at all times. What happened: I told DS (for the millionth time) that he had to respect the word no. The boy got told to tell the staff if my boy was a pain (new in school, the others knew to tell staff if a Sen child was bothering them) and school said we'll look out better for the SEN children. I was very happy with the outcome.

@Lifestooshort1542 Try to see this as a learning lesson for your child : when someone needs to calm down you leave them alone (not condoning hitting though). I have witnessed how kids tend to go up and tease and poke at children who are having "time out" so I would be wary about my DS behaviour in the situation.

"DS who was in the firing line and hit him twice across the face".

Ok she didn't use the word punched, but there's a huge difference between a 10/11 year old child and a 7 year old. Her 7 year old was hit twice in the face by a much older child, I would be furious if it was my child and want to know how the school will safeguard the children in future. It's unacceptable regardless of the circumstances described.

If a 7 year old child went up to you when you wanted to be on your own to ask if you were okay, would you repeatedly hit them?

If the 10/11 year old can’t control themselves from hurting smaller children then they shouldn’t be at school.

And to others saying that OP can’t know if the 10/11 year old is suspended - OP can ask their child if they are at school tomorrow.

As long as they’ve let you know then what more can they do? They may need to look at a TA going over to the child who was clearly in a state of dysregulation but you can’t always predict these things. Now they know and can hopefully manage the child’s behaviour better. The parents of the child who can’t manage their emotions will probably be more upset than you at the end of the day.