DS was hit in the face by a child at school

Yep, it’s interesting isn’t it. People more horrified an 11yo didn’t get their cool down time than they are a 7yo was punched by a much older boy

Hitting back absolutely is self defence, and self defence is not illegal.

In real primary school life the younger child would get hurt, possibly badly.

In real secondary school life, the younger child would facing significant discipline.

In real adult life, fighting back will get you charged.

I have had to explain to many children and many parents that hitting back is not self defence. Teach your child better.

I mean he's 7 and the other boy is 11 so probably not the best advice. It would end a lot worse for him.

I say that as someone who would ordinarily agree btw

Only on paper, in real life it would work.

To see if he's OK? Yeah, right

Good grief, would you say the same to a woman who had been hit by a man?

Righty-o.

Incorrect response

Pretty sure an 11 year old could do quite a lot of damage to a much smaller 7 year old.
Teaching children to fight says a great deal about how good at parenting a person is (hint - not good at all)

an 11 year old assaulting a 7 year old is awful but there’s always an excuse given for these violent children.

Wondering if our kids go to the same school, a year 6 kicked off with a bunch of them today and the kid kicked my son

I’d want to know if there was any staff nearby monitoring what was going on while this older child (with possible additional needs?) was feeling agitated and being followed by other children who were making it worse- whether they meant to or not.

I’m in no way blaming your child for him being hit but I do think you need to have a conversation with him about how he should handle a situation like this in the future so he doesn’t end up in the same situation again.

You clearly have comprehension difficulties, so I won’t bother arguing with you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Year 6 is the age of criminal responsibility. 10 year olds absolutely should be able to control their own physical aggression. I’d want an in person meeting at the school about this.

Also even quite young children can spot vulnerability in others and enjoy winding them up until they explode, especially if they're being egged on by being in a group.

This could be a situation where the group of younger children misread the situation and were kindly checking on the upset boy, or it could be that they were harassing a child who was trying to get away to calm down.
Only the school can tell the OP which one it was.

Spot on.

Just today, I had to firmly tell off a group of 5, 6 and 7 year olds who had followed a child who something had happened to (injured) and repeatedly tell them to move away. They weren't there in solidarity or concern; they were gawking and pointing, literally.

We have that with numerous ND children who are trying to get themselves under control, too, when something goes wrong. Too many other children think its 'fun' to follow them, even when told to go away, wind them up even more deliberately ... and every single one will initially tell you they were 'concerned' if called out on it by a grown up trying to sort things. So frustrating.

So, no, I don't necessarily believe OP's son's story about what he was actually doing. I'd be probing a bit deeper about what he was actually doing when the other older child had repeatedly and clearly told him to go away. And he didn't.

"Even if they did go to see if he was ok, the bit between “are you ok” and the kid being hit is what’s important. It would be unusual if it went nuclear immediately. ND kids aren’t going around slapping NT kids at the drop of a hat, there is usually some trigger."

Yes if the older child had managed to take himself away it is unlikely he would have hit someone because of being asked once if he was ok.

You've not a clue what that child needs. We have more and more children in school who struggle to regulate. Following them when they are recognising their emotions and trying to calm down is a good thing. Having a group of younger children invading their space is not going to help, neither is hitting them back.

I dealt with a situation a couple of years ago where a younger child complained that a much older child had pushed them.
It became clear very quickly that the older child had asked for space several times, having already removed himself from the main area.
I spoke to the older child, who was actually quite upset because he knew he shouldn't have, but just hit a point of not being able to cope. I gave him a space where he could go if needed, and told him that if he needed to go, he needed to let me know so I knew where he was but said I would never stop that. He went to apologise without being asked.
I spoke to the younger child about respecting others when they asked for space and explained how he felt trapped by them. I wasn't totally sure that they'd got it but later I saw them talking together, with the younger child asking questions about autism, and the older child was explaining to them.

The younger child was the first to protect the older later in the week when he said he needed space and the rest of the group wanted to see where he was going. Was very sweet.

If the child told them to leave him alone then your child is at fault here.

i have a Sen son who hits out when overstimulated. He cannot attend school as it was too much. As he’s grown he can cope more and more in some situations and I want to bang my head on a wall when my child recognises he needs a break walls away to calm down and clearly says “leave me alone”. This has taken YEARS of hard work for him and me. Now he has these skills more often than not I’m still having to give him consequences for hitting out because some child who can’t accept “leave me alone” won’t fuck off and let him calm down. I can’t just excuse my child’s behaviour and I won’t even though it’s clear as day to me it would not have happened if the other child had accepted his boundaries. I’ve even had one parent tell my son off for being rude to her child when he said leave me alone.

it’s staggering how many children do not understand boundaries and how many parents get upset when their little darling gets a thump when they scare a Sen child by not leaving them alone. My own son has complex and high care needs, he may never live independently. But if another child says leave me alone he will back off immediately as he understands how invasive it is to not have control of your own personal space

I agree with this.

This could easily happen at work if a child was dysregulated. Not saying this is what your DS did but there’s a boy who often goes up to another child when he is CLEARLY in “about to explode” mode and asks “what’s wrong with youuuu??” in a sort of “I’m pretending not to read this situation” way. It’s a miracle he’s never been hit but adults often have to step in.

I can imagine 7 year olds being taught about the concept of kindness and how that could mean if someone is alone on the playground and looks sad going and seeing if they are ok. This is why I think if it was known that this boy had this strategy and needed leaving alone that adults should have been keeping an eye on the situation. You can't expect 7 year olds to have that nuance.