DS was hit in the face by a child at school

Don't think anyone's suggested a 7yo tolerates anything have they?

You will find though that it will always turn into a debate about men being aggressors towards women and whether the child should have the police called on them, even though it has nothing to do with violence against women and the police are unlikely to respond to an incident like this. Then you will get the "why can't they just lock ND kids away" lot jumping in to take the thread on another tedious self interested tangent.

And MN will do fuck all about the ableist comments.

Exactly. So if it isn’t ok for women to tolerate why should a 7yo have to tolerate it? Why is it different?

Should women give space to angry men lest they risk being punched? Should we teach women that? It would be unkind on the poor man not to!

A PP put it perfectly - NT children are not punching bags for ND children. I’m not sure justifying it even helps ND children does it?

Who knows the truth of what happened? I would be inclined to let the school deal
with it and advise your son not to get involved in things that are none of his business. This is an older child but he sounds vulnerable and there is a world in which your son and his friends are the aggressors. Probably it’s somewhere in between what your son is telling you (we followed him to help) and what the older child felt (cornered and angry). If there are repeat incidents or if the school don’t deal with this to your satisfaction I’d then call a meeting.

What a strange question to ask, of course not 😳

I do hope you're not serious?

He's 7 years old for goodness sake. Do YOU think he deserved to be punch?

Shameful if you do.

What a weird tangent.

This thread is about primary school children 🤔

This is really unkind. It is not an ND child versus NT child situation here. Pitting kids against each other is a bit pathetic.

The children need to be taught to give space to someone showing distress if they have already turned down their help. It is sad because they may have been trying to help, but if this country is so determined to integrate ND children into mainstream and not provide more SS places, they need to make sure the other children understand how ND affects these children.

Sounds like yet another thread created for a bit of ND child bashing.

Is it a small primary school where all years mix together outside? Very odd that a 7 year old would be anywhere near a pupil in Year 6. Why would your child be concerned about a pupil in Year 6? Usually each year group stick with their own peers.

Whole heartedly agree!

My children are taught to hit back and not be victims - end of

Another person I’ll ask - would you extend this belief to men and women? If a woman was trying to help a man, and he didn’t want help, would it be a ‘lesson’ for her if she were to be attacked?

I hate to say it but hitting back is often a quicker and more permanent remedy than years and years of waffle about feelings, mediation, teacher hopelessly trying to help and light touch interventions.

I’ll ask you too - would this mindset extend to men and women in a relationship? If a man was angry and needed to cool down, and the woman followed him rather than calling the police, would it be ok for him to punch her?

I wonder if you and others on this thread believe this mindset extends to men and women.

If a man punched his wife in the face would you say “Oh but you should have left him alone to cool down”?

Let’s say he had wound him up - did he deserve to be punched?

I agree. I've seen it a lot. Especially with older SEN kids that are developmentally behind. I've seen some really nasty little kids targeting them - it's an easy target because if the older kid does retaliate they are usually the ones to get in trouble. And it gives the younger kids a taste of power. I'm not saying that this is definitely what's going on here but I'd be expiring all possibilities - something doesn't sound quite right with the young group's stories of 'checking he was okay and then got randomly punched...'.

I am so sorry your son was hit, that must have been very unpleasant for him and I can understand that you are upset. However, the older child had attempted to provide himself with space and a group of children - however well intentioned they may have been - did not listen to his needs: time alone, and did not listen to or respect his verbally stated boundary. Whilst I would not be happy that my child was hit, I would be discussing with my child the importance of listening to what others are asking in terms of space and respecting their wishes. It’s an important skill to develop.

I'm out of teaching now but I was in the profession for over a decade. The older boy clearly should not have hit a 7 year old but part of me thinks there is much more to this than simply asking if he was okay.

I had a boy like the one described in my class. If you genuinly asked if he was okay and he wasn't in any fit state to reply he'd go off on one ranting (but didn't get physical). It would take a lot to get him to actually hit someone.

I wonder how innocent the gang of Year 2's were? Children at that age are not stupid and if they have witnessed the older boy have a meltdown before they most likely knew they could get a reaction. It probably wasn't the reaction they envisioned though.

Often. It depends on the circumstances. This is how most fights begin. So many lads get into trouble because they don’t have the skills to deescalate. They have been taught that fighting back will protect them. In a closed community that might work but in wider society it just leads to more trouble.

Retaliation isn’t a criminal offence.

Can you tell me about one case where a person is punched in the face, punches back, and is convicted of one of the charges you list above?

Will the initial perpetrator of violence get the same charges?

I think as usual there are a lot of unpleasant posts from both sides. I wouldn’t be surprised if both the children involved in this incident are prepared to be more open minded and respectful to one another than the adults.

I think the hitter should apologise and hopefully already does feel bad. But I do think recognising when people want space is an important life skill. It’s never good to wind someone up by following them around, no matter how well intentioned. Ideally what should come out of this is a safe space for the boy in question to go to so he can cool off.

@APATEKPHILLIPEWATCHit’ll be due to the violent bully being ‘overstimulated’ - meaning a much smaller, younger child deserves to be assaulted. Always an excuse and never adequate action. I’m sure if it was their own 7 year old being violently attacked they’d be ‘fuming.‘

If overstimulation results in violence (especially towards small children) the perpetrator needs to be segregated for the protection of others.

Hitting back is not the same as self defence.

Hitting back is retaliation. That will result in charges such as fray, assault, ABH depending on the circumstances.

You need to learn and teach de-escalation. That will keep you safer than the hope that you can hit (the older boy!) harder.