DS was hit in the face by a child at school

Would you say a woman who was hit by her husband was at fault because she persisted in asking if he was OK and thumped her?

Would you say a woman who was hit by her husband was at fault because she persisted in asking if he was OK and thumped her?

If the child told them to leave him alone then your child is at fault here.

i have a Sen son who hits out when overstimulated. He cannot attend school as it was too much. As he’s grown he can cope more and more in some situations and I want to bang my head on a wall when my child recognises he needs a break walls away to calm down and clearly says “leave me alone”. This has taken YEARS of hard work for him and me. Now he has these skills more often than not I’m still having to give him consequences for hitting out because some child who can’t accept “leave me alone” won’t fuck off and let him calm down. I can’t just excuse my child’s behaviour and I won’t even though it’s clear as day to me it would not have happened if the other child had accepted his boundaries. I’ve even had one parent tell my son off for being rude to her child when he said leave me alone.

it’s staggering how many children do not understand boundaries and how many parents get upset when their little darling gets a thump when they scare a Sen child by not leaving them alone. My own son has complex and high care needs, he may never live independently. But if another child says leave me alone he will back off immediately as he understands how invasive it is to not have control of your own personal space

If the child told them to leave him alone then your child is at fault here.

i have a Sen son who hits out when overstimulated. He cannot attend school as it was too much. As he’s grown he can cope more and more in some situations and I want to bang my head on a wall when my child recognises he needs a break walls away to calm down and clearly says “leave me alone”. This has taken YEARS of hard work for him and me. Now he has these skills more often than not I’m still having to give him consequences for hitting out because some child who can’t accept “leave me alone” won’t fuck off and let him calm down. I can’t just excuse my child’s behaviour and I won’t even though it’s clear as day to me it would not have happened if the other child had accepted his boundaries. I’ve even had one parent tell my son off for being rude to her child when he said leave me alone.

it’s staggering how many children do not understand boundaries and how many parents get upset when their little darling gets a thump when they scare a Sen child by not leaving them alone. My own son has complex and high care needs, he may never live independently. But if another child says leave me alone he will back off immediately as he understands how invasive it is to not have control of your own personal space

Whole heartedly agree!

My children are taught to hit back and not be victims - end of

Obviously not. But I wonder why you have said “I think you need to get to the bottom of whether they genuinely went to see if this child was ok, or to gawp/wind him up further.” If not to justify or excuse it.

@APATEKPHILLIPEWATCH if a 10yo hit their 7yo sibling in the face would you call the police?

I can imagine 7 year olds being taught about the concept of kindness and how that could mean if someone is alone on the playground and looks sad going and seeing if they are ok. This is why I think if it was known that this boy had this strategy and needed leaving alone that adults should have been keeping an eye on the situation. You can't expect 7 year olds to have that nuance.

This. Why on earth was a group of kids following a distressed pupil around? Were they tormenting him? Laughing at him? Trying to wind him up further? Worth considering what we DON'T know in this scenario.

ND children are not playthings for kids.

I find it hard to believe a group of boys decided to go see if he was ok. More believe-able they went to torment him, in which case FAFO.

Even if they did go to see if he was ok, the bit between “are you ok” and the kid being hit is what’s important. It would be unusual if it went nuclear immediately. ND kids aren’t going around slapping NT kids at the drop of a hat, there is usually some trigger.

No child should be at risk of being hit, but equally no child should be at risk of being pushed to the point where they hit. Teaching NT kids how to interact with ND kids is something parents should be looking at.

If a man punched his wife because he needed to cool down and saw her as an aggressor, would he be right?

What a way to victim blame.

^

What a way to teach boundaries!

Your ds should have left the other kid alone, the older kid shouldn't be lamping anyone.

Lesson learnt, move on

If a man punched his wife because he needed to cool down and saw her as an aggressor, would he be right?

"If it was me I would be asking for a meeting with someone at the school to explain what happened and how your DC can be kept safe in the future."

Not trailing after someone who wants to be on their own.

A number of posters claiming the kid got 'repeatedly punched in the face'.

Interestingly, not a phrase OP used, and therefore unlikely that's what happened.

But loving the suggestion of a police report.

Retaliation isn’t a criminal offence.

Can you tell me about one case where a person is punched in the face, punches back, and is convicted of one of the charges you list above?

There is strict guidance around suspensions. OP cannot ask what has happened to older child, and indeed he may have been suspended.

OP can ask what they can do to safeguard her child. It might be that the area the child took himself off to was an area designated for that and so they need to let other children know that area is to be avoided. If they are concerned about someone they get an adult.

If as an adult you go off somewhere to be alone you wouldn’t want a group of other people crowding round you asking if you are okay, no matter how well meaning they are trying to be

I certainly am. Thanks.

Kids who go around punching other kids in the face do so because they're used to getting away with it. Pretty sure if one of his victims hit him back he wouldn't be so quick the next time.

Who knows the truth of what happened? I would be inclined to let the school deal
with it and advise your son not to get involved in things that are none of his business. This is an older child but he sounds vulnerable and there is a world in which your son and his friends are the aggressors. Probably it’s somewhere in between what your son is telling you (we followed him to help) and what the older child felt (cornered and angry). If there are repeat incidents or if the school don’t deal with this to your satisfaction I’d then call a meeting.

What a strange question to ask, of course not 😳

I do hope you're not serious?

He's 7 years old for goodness sake. Do YOU think he deserved to be punch?

Shameful if you do.