Seeing both families equally

meh - you obviously don't like them so why not just say "no, you're too boring" and leave it at that?

What does your brother say about the dog, what are his reasons?

Guide dogs go through very rigorous training, it’s hardly the same don’t be ridiculous.

Do you not believe in therapy dogs and guide dogs either? Or do you just think blind people never visit the dentist?

Why is it weird? The don’t like the dog around their children, the reasons for that are usually pretty clear, so of course they are reasonable to say the won’t be going out with the dog. Honestly a park with kids running around and playing can be one of the worst places for dogs to be.

Just to be aware OP, she might be 8 and not a jumper but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rage_syndrome can happen. Did to my DGF’s dog.

Mum is upset that OP clearly loves the dog more than any member of her family.

Which is a choice OP is free to make. I wouldn’t. She has. Some people REALLY don’t like dogs around their kids. For very good reasons. There is a child in my family with facial scars from a previously very well-trained dog, owned by a very responsible owner. The dog got sick, was in pain, unknown to everyone, went at the child. Spaniels have form for mental issues that can cause the same.

OP if you aren’t going to chance the set-up, tell them. And just stick to it.

Of course. You can choose where you take your child, or don't take them.

I don’t own a dog, but I don’t understand why anyone doesn’t see this as bizarre. As a parent, do I have the right to tell someone “I won’t go to the park with DS if you bring your dog along” so weird!!

I bet if we all asked the DB he'd say the dog is annoying, badly behaved and treated like a baby by OP who won't do anything to stop it jumping around the kids.

There's a reason they don't want their children around the dogs. You haven't been asked to accommodate anyone; they've just collectively said that they are no longer willing/able to accommodate your pet like they've been doing for years because the family now includes children and for whatever reason (my suspicion is as above) they don't feel the dog is compatible any more.

You're trying to spin it as though they're the entitled ones but it doesn't sound like that to me.

You don’t owe your parents equal amount of time, but I can imagine your parents are sad that you clearly don’t want to spend time with them. The brother/dog scenario is a bit of a red herring, although I think both you and your brother have a degree of unreasonableness about that. But I don’t really think it’s about your parents allowing him to freeze you out, your brother doesn’t want to spend time with your dog, you don’t want to spend time without your dog - your parents can’t make either of you change your mind, the only option for them is to see you separately.

One one hand you say you don’t see your parents more because you don’t spend time together as a group with your extended family, but on the other hand you don’t like any of them very much and don’t actually want to spend more time with any of them.

I feel a bit sad for your parents, you’ve not mentioned I don’t think if you have suggested alternatives to a boring Sunday lunch like inviting them on a long walk at a NT place or a pub lunch out. But ultimately if you don’t enjoy their company and don’t want to make an effort to spend time with them you should own that. It’s nothing to do with your brother or parents actions.

It sounds quite complicated and not just about one thing. No, there's no law that says you have to spend equal time with each family, but your mum is upset that you don't want to visit more often and perhaps knows it is because you find her and your dad boring. Which is sad for her.
There seems to be a completely separate issue with your brother who doesn't want dogs around his baby.

My dog comes to church with me.

I adore him but I understand not everyone likes dogs so if your brother has asked you not to take your dog to their house you have to respect it unfortunately. They may well soften when their child is older.

So you can’t leave your dog for 3 hours once a month to go on a play date with your niece or nephew? Bizarre.

it sounds like you’ve made your choice. Simple explain to your partners & brother that your dog is more important than a relationship with your family and that you in-laws are more accommodating to this therefore it’s easier to spend time with them. Ask them if they are willing to spend time with your dog (walks/ park etc) and if they say no then there’s not much else you/ they can do.

Why is it bizzare? The OP is free to meet her parents in any of those places with her dog, the brother is just saying he won’t be bringing his kids along.
The dog is probably poorly trained and the OP refuses to deal with it. Too many people think it’s cute when their dog is all over a young child.

The dog is a red herring, it has nothing to do with your situation as youve literally said regardless of dog you don’t want to see them much.

That’s your decision. You don’t have to see them. I think it’s unfair to place blame on your brother as he has every right to not want a dog around a young child. You could see them all without dog or see parents alone but you don’t want that.

If your parents are otherwise nice people I’d probably give your head a wobble about not wanting to visit them often because if you and DP split he’ll still have a close relationship with his family but you won’t have much of one left

To your question, you don't owe them the same time as you spend with your partner's family.

However, can't you (while not aiming for the same time) change the meetings with your parents to be more enjoyable? Even if it is a walk, meal out, a gallery visit (ok, maybe not a gallery visit, because of the dog).
Ask about them, how they lived through a history milestones when they were younger. Make it an experience.

We don't spend the same amount of time with both sets of parents, nor do we spend it in the same way, but we found a way we can enjoy with both.

Btw, about the dog, just out of curiosity. Would you be willing and able to ensure the dog wouldn't lick the child? I find dog licking absolutely gross, and the idea of a dog licking child's face is absolutely revolting to me. I wouldn't be able to take my baby to meet the people unable to respect that and prevent their dog from doing it.

Didn't you post about this a few days ago? That OP also had a spaniel. What has changed?

This is my opinion too. Totally bizarre that DB and wife have dictated that dog isn’t even invited for outdoor / pub / public places…

Well I can understand her being hurt. The dog is a red herring really because you are saying spending time with your parents is boring and you don't want to spend time with them. Yes that is going to hurt them. If you find it easier to spend time with them when your brother and the children are in attendance then leaving the dog at home isn't a big ask.

I’m sorry but you did what they wanted for 6months - they can’t expect you to never want to do anything all together (including the dog again!). Did they offer 6 months of doing things involving the dog? If they want to do things their way, that’s fine - and if your parents don’t want to do things that allow you to all be together occasionally as you did previously, that’s also fine. They can’t however get annoyed that you’d rather spend your time doing things you want to do, with people you want to do them with. Spending a day wandering around a national trust property with your PIL doesn’t mean you owe your parents a day sat inside being stuffy at all!

Im not sure why coming to your house, meeting at your parents with the dog or meeting somewhere outdoorsy or neutral isn’t an option for your brother, I’m also not sure why your parents are letting him totally decide the status quo!