Seeing both families equally

You sound a bit precious to me.

It’s up to people whether they want to be around dogs or not. I don’t want dogs in my house. So your Brother was well within his rights to say no to the dog.

I actually think you the the issue here. If you were a little more flexible and not so anxious at being parted from your dog you may find your relationships ease.

It is ok to be apart from a pet for a few hours. What do you think is going to happen to you or to it when apart?

@whodafish are you actually so obtuse NOT to realise why your parents, MAY be "jealous/hurt/confused, that their own daughter prefers spending more time their In-Laws?

Are they, (your parents) that rubbish?

You can set up your Facebook so people can’t tag you without express permission. Explain to your SIL that you would rather not be tagged or that she posts photos without you.

Until the baby was about 6 months old I left my dog at home and went to visit them. At 6 months I quite frankly thought the whole situation was ridiculous so stopped.

Completely unreasonable to describe it as you being frozen out.

You chose to walk away from your sibling over your dog. Your choice, not theirs.

You don’t owe them equal time but if Facebook is fuelling your mum’s jealousy then why wouldn’t you restrict what she sees so she doesn’t know how much time you spend with your ILs?

Invite your parents to yours more? A meal each week. Or don’t tell her / broadcast you are out with in-laws.

It’s pretty obviously not a guide dog since she has left it when it suits her, she just doesn’t like want to do regarding her brothers kids.

Cool for you, stick to your dog park then.

It’s truly bizarre that people so obsessed with their dogs feel the need to insult human children out of nowhere, and totally irrelevantly to the conversation.

2 issues.

No you don't owe your M&D time
and
It's very sad that you have now completely prioritised your dog over seeing your D Niece / Nephew. And are missing out on fun days (or shorter outings) with them all.

Compromise. Occasionally leave your dog and have time with your family altogether.

You are being a dogged dog owner.

Maybe stop posting on Facebook? That way your parents will be none the wiser.

I agree. Op posted about this a couple weeks ago too but framed it as she wasn’t invited to her parents house anymore because of her Brother, but didn’t actually know why

In a previous thread. I guess it could be a completely different person but even BEFORE you referenced the dog in your OP I was convinced it was you. The dog was the clincher.

But if you genuinely have never ever posted abotu this before, my apologies.

And if that's the case though, I'd say that you still sound like you only wnat to spend time with people on your own terms. which is fine, but you can't blame people for not being very happy with that.

The OP hasn't said if it's a therapy dog (or guide dog for that matter).

I'd rather have someone's dog over than someone's baby or toddler. Dogs are much better behaved. And smell less.

You’ve posted about this before haven’t you? But in a different way?

Your story has changed a LOT. Originally, you were upset becuase you were no longer invited to your parents house and you didn' tknow it was because of hte dog and felt that if they'd just told you, you'd have left the dog at home.

Now suddenly, you're saying it IS because of the dog, you won't leave the dog at home and that's why you're not seeing them?

You do sound rather entitled. It must be your way or the high way, plus the story changes makes me think that you like to adapt your outrage according to the situation.

Having said that, you'r enot obligated to spend time with anyone you don't want to so just keep declining invites with your parents ifyou want to.

I'm very much a dog person and our preferred activities are ones we could take the dog with us. However, I wouldn't have wanted someone else's dog around my newborn unless I was 100% sure the dog would behave in an "appropriate" way. So my mum's dog was fine because she is absolutely golden and won't do anything unless she's been told she's allowed. My sister's dog is loopy and jumpy and while I, personally, don't mind being jumped on by a young excited dog, didn't want that for my baby.

Once baby became child, then other dogs, unless aggressive, were fine. So I can understand why non dog people wouldn't want a dog around their baby

Did you want to take your spaniel around the baby and they said no? If there was someone wanting to come meet your dog and they wanted to bring their horse they brought everywhere, would you accept that? Do you have children? Can you not see their point of view at all?

I feel sorry for your parents. They invite you to Sunday lunch, try to make it nice and special and you dismiss it as boring

My parents are also quite formal, it's not my style but I appreciate they're trying to make an effort to give us a treat. And I'd be very unimpressed if my DH described it as a chore, instead of showing some appreciation

@whodafish I know this gets bandied about far too much on here but why dont you just go NC with your family? Your pretty much already there with your brother by the sounds of it and if you find your parents boring and stuffy then it doesn't sound like there's much point keeping a relationship going.

No you don't owe them equal time, it doesn't work like that.

You are being unreasonable at taking the dog everywhere though.

Just tell your mother you are happy with the amount you see her and your father as it is but you have no problem reducing it if she keeps trying to emotionally blackmail you.
You are an adult, you get to decide who you see and when, you refuse to be summoned.

@whodafish just unravelling your posts

I don't go anywhere without my dog,

I don't want to leave my dog behind, she's my family

At 6 months I quite frankly thought the whole situation was ridiculous so stopped.

am I obligated to spend equal time with mine?

I'm not punishing my parents. I just don't enjoy spending time with them

For me I'd prefer to go for a walk or whatever, but she wants my partner to be "impressed". Its just not what we're about.

Around friends kids I have her on a lead

Your dog, it seems, is the most important thing in your life, to the detriment of your family?

That's ok, if that's what YOU want

I have a dog who I adore but I’d never bring her to someone’s house and I would consider it to be really rude for people to turn up at mine with a pet. What’s wrong with dogs being treated like dogs?

My kids are also my family but even they get left at home (with a babysitter) because some things are not kid appropriate/they aren’t invited.