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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if it’s normal to be embarrassed by this?

45 replies

CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:25

When I was 11 I went to a 3rd birthday party of a family friend’s son.

I can’t remember that much about it - but I can remember the mum - our family friend shouting at various intervals throughout the party when a child misbehaved:

(blah blah blah) SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!

So the main thing I remember about that afternoon were cries of :

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!!! every 10 minutes or so.

As an 11 year old I felt acutely embarrassed and self conscious about this. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:58

SmallFiresBurning · 18/03/2025 11:53

I feel sad for David. Party ruined either by an embarrassment of a mother or the unruliness of the child attendees! Poor David, he never stood a chance 😢

Very true ❤️

OP posts:
Crazybaby123 · 18/03/2025 11:56

Its quite strange you are still thinking about this now.
It is weird behaviour from an adult at thr party but not something I would remember or think about post the party tbh.
Maybe you thinking about it is linked to another recent event???

SmallFiresBurning · 18/03/2025 11:53

I feel sad for David. Party ruined either by an embarrassment of a mother or the unruliness of the child attendees! Poor David, he never stood a chance 😢

Puddlewoman · 18/03/2025 11:53

Do you think you might be ND and looking for supporting evidence?

Starlight1984 · 18/03/2025 11:43

Um... WTF.

Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:38

Darkclothes · 18/03/2025 11:30

Are you now 12 OP, or was this decades ago? I find it odd that you are still mulling this over now!

Was she yelling at you? What did your parents say? Are you normally embarrassed by other people now?

Am not 12! Grin

OP posts:
Teapotters · 18/03/2025 11:37

I remember acute embarrassment when teachers shouted at somebody else at school. They didn't even need to be near me, I'd just go all hot and red and embarrassed. Might be similar? I don't know why I was like that, something about things going wrong or people losing control or other people being embarrassed.

Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:33

Garedenhelp · 18/03/2025 11:28

Was she shouting at you or other kids?
What was the behaviour that was spoiling the party?**

Shouting at other kids

i can’t honestly remember the behaviour spoiling the party

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 18/03/2025 11:33

ComtesseDeSpair · 18/03/2025 11:27

If you were a fairly sensitive, under confident, and anxious child who worried about pleasing those around you then it follows that you’d have been more highly tuned in to perceived criticisms about your behaviour, or worries at hearing others’ behaviour criticised, perhaps for fear you might be next. “Normal” doesn’t really come into it: all children are products of their environments and personalities, and we all remember odd little snippets of our childhoods, for whatever reason.

Edited

And equally, I suspect the parent throwing the party was themselves somebody who was quite anxious, eager to please, and a bit of a perfectionist with therefore a tendency to overreact somewhat to things going in a way which didn’t fit with the vision or plan they had in their head. We don’t just suddenly snap out of our foibles at 18!

Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:32

Annascaul · 18/03/2025 11:28

Why were you embarrassed? Were you the one spoiling David’s party?

Certainly not! Grin

OP posts:
Lungwort · 18/03/2025 11:32

CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:31

Thank you to everyone who’s responded - I think this post explains things VERY VERY well - it’s nailed it.

I was a very underconfident 11 year old child and had very low self esteem

Show quote history

Sure, but why are you still mulling it over all these years later?

Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:31

ComtesseDeSpair · 18/03/2025 11:27

If you were a fairly sensitive, under confident, and anxious child who worried about pleasing those around you then it follows that you’d have been more highly tuned in to perceived criticisms about your behaviour, or worries at hearing others’ behaviour criticised, perhaps for fear you might be next. “Normal” doesn’t really come into it: all children are products of their environments and personalities, and we all remember odd little snippets of our childhoods, for whatever reason.

Edited

Thank you to everyone who’s responded - I think this post explains things VERY VERY well - it’s nailed it.

I was a very underconfident 11 year old child and had very low self esteem

OP posts:
Darkclothes · 18/03/2025 11:30

Are you now 12 OP, or was this decades ago? I find it odd that you are still mulling this over now!

Was she yelling at you? What did your parents say? Are you normally embarrassed by other people now?

Garedenhelp · 18/03/2025 11:28

Was she shouting at you or other kids?
What was the behaviour that was spoiling the party?**

Annascaul · 18/03/2025 11:28

Why were you embarrassed? Were you the one spoiling David’s party?

peachgreen · 18/03/2025 11:28

Never mind the fact that it was decades ago, why are you embarrassed about something someone else did?

ComtesseDeSpair · 18/03/2025 11:27

If you were a fairly sensitive, under confident, and anxious child who worried about pleasing those around you then it follows that you’d have been more highly tuned in to perceived criticisms about your behaviour, or worries at hearing others’ behaviour criticised, perhaps for fear you might be next. “Normal” doesn’t really come into it: all children are products of their environments and personalities, and we all remember odd little snippets of our childhoods, for whatever reason.

MumChp · 18/03/2025 11:27

CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:26

Sorry I meant to say in my title is it normal for an

11*** year old to be embarrassed by this?

I would consider it more likely to be confused.
And then forgotten.

KrisAkabusi · 18/03/2025 11:26

I don't think anyone will find this normal to be embarrassed about as it seems such abnormal behaviour!

Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:26

Sorry I meant to say in my title is it normal for an

11*** year old to be embarrassed by this?

OP posts: