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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if it’s normal to be embarrassed by this?

45 replies

CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 11:25

When I was 11 I went to a 3rd birthday party of a family friend’s son.

I can’t remember that much about it - but I can remember the mum - our family friend shouting at various intervals throughout the party when a child misbehaved:

(blah blah blah) SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!

So the main thing I remember about that afternoon were cries of :

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!!! every 10 minutes or so.

As an 11 year old I felt acutely embarrassed and self conscious about this. AIBU?

OP posts:
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scalt · 21/03/2025 12:25

I remember “don’t spoil it” being a stock phrase by adults to silence child protests.

It reminds me of one of the Famous Five books, where George is sulky about their tutor not liking Tim, and the others keep pleading “don’t spoil Christmas”.

”Oh George, you’ll spoil the whole hols if you keep getting into trouble.”
”Well, I’ll spoil them then!”

Original poster
CringerNinja · 21/03/2025 08:41

Floatlikeafeather2 · 21/03/2025 08:34

Why wasn't she shouting "DON'T SPOIL DAVID'S PARTY"?

Sorry I’m being a bit misleading.

She wasn’t going round shouting ‘Spoil David’s Party’ as such but actually more along the lines of

‘Dont do (whatever) or you’ll SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!

But all I took away from it was random shouts of

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Floatlikeafeather2 · 21/03/2025 08:34

Why wasn't she shouting "DON'T SPOIL DAVID'S PARTY"?

Original poster
CringerNinja · 21/03/2025 08:07

Thanks so much again everyone who contributed to this thread.

Funnily enough I’ve got David’s embarrassing mum on Facebook and she interacted with one of my posts yesterday.

The other thing possibly abc realistically is that - family friends or not - an 11 year old wouldn’t really be enthralled at going to a 3 year old’s party.

So thanks for contributing to this post - it’s literally made me laugh out loud in parts and helped get me through a difficult week.

So, have a great Friday - go out there and smash it! 💪 - and whatever you do

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!! LIKE A BOSS!! 😭 💪

OP posts:
Original poster
CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 17:26

TyrannasaurusJex · 20/03/2025 17:07

ah classic. we all have days like that. If it's become your norm to feel that way then make sure you pop along to your GP and have a chat about it, they can help.

Show quote history

Sure .. thank you

OP posts:
TyrannasaurusJex · 20/03/2025 17:07

CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 17:05

Ah thank you. Appreciate it. Just finding the energy to do stuff etc ..

Show quote history

ah classic. we all have days like that. If it's become your norm to feel that way then make sure you pop along to your GP and have a chat about it, they can help.

Original poster
CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 17:05

TyrannasaurusJex · 20/03/2025 16:52

OP it sounds like you might want to talk about your day and what you're finding so hard? Feel free to if that's the case.

Ah thank you. Appreciate it. Just finding the energy to do stuff etc ..

OP posts:
TyrannasaurusJex · 20/03/2025 16:52

OP it sounds like you might want to talk about your day and what you're finding so hard? Feel free to if that's the case.

Original poster
CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 15:56

Regretsmorethanafew · 20/03/2025 15:51

Why was she ordering people to spoil David's party?

Ok this had me hooting with laughter and it’s really helped me get through the day!!Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 15:55

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 20/03/2025 15:43

Whatever happened to David?

Have you tried searching on FB?

Ah yes I found him on Facebook - married a very good looking woman and has 2 kids!

OP posts:
Original poster
CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 15:53

Wishyouwerehere50 · 20/03/2025 15:42

What is it about yourself you are thinking or questioning OP? Beyond the question in the post.

Edited

Ooh this is very deep !!

OP posts:
Regretsmorethanafew · 20/03/2025 15:51

Why was she ordering people to spoil David's party?

Bignanna · 20/03/2025 15:47

I remember playing with my friend in her house, and the girl asked me if I’d like to stay for tea. I said yes. Then I overheard the mum saying to the girl” Did you ask her if she’d like to stay for tea, or did she ask you ? She replied “she asked me.” I was so angry and hurt, but was afraid to confront her. I did stay for tea, but felt uncomfortable. People remember things like that!

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 20/03/2025 15:43

Whatever happened to David?

Have you tried searching on FB?

Wishyouwerehere50 · 20/03/2025 15:42

What is it about yourself you are thinking or questioning OP? Beyond the question in the post.

Original poster
CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 15:39

Dontlletmedownbruce · 20/03/2025 15:33

David might be having his 40th soon OP. You could get really pissed and vomit maybe? Or fall into the cake?

Ok I’m finding today a bit hard to get through and this gave me a MUCH needed lol moment !!! Grin - and is DEFINITELY helping me get through the day!! ❤️

OP posts:
Dontlletmedownbruce · 20/03/2025 15:33

David might be having his 40th soon OP. You could get really pissed and vomit maybe? Or fall into the cake?

Dontlletmedownbruce · 20/03/2025 15:30

I get that memories are random and often illogical, so I'm not surprised at the vivid memory of it. I am surprised at the emotional reaction though. Surely it wasn't the first time you saw someone angry or stressed?

I'm not advocating yelling at kids but I do think they need to develop a tolerance for difficult situations. Some children are very sheltered, only surrounded by soft parents and play at home or in child specific places, never exposed to the real world. I work with young kids and I've seen a child traumatised, having nightmares for weeks because another kid shouted in her face once. Or a child who is overwhelmed and crying because a teacher had to raise their voice at another child for doing something naughty. It's not good for them to be so delicate. I know some people are naturally very sensitive but I think they need to learn to toughen up a bit, same as the tough kids need to learn a bit of sensitivity. We all need to share the same spaces and get along.

Original poster
CringerNinja · 20/03/2025 15:09

Thanks everyone who responded to this.

This actually happened in the 80s.

I was finding it a struggle to get through the day on Monday when I posted this so this post in say made me laugh and helped me get through the day - if only thinking about the mother shouting

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!
SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!

like some sort of crazed hyena every 10 minutes!! 🤣🤣

btw mumsnetters - has anyone actually got any ideas about things we could do to

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY??! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 20:05

Garedenhelp · 18/03/2025 11:28

Was she shouting at you or other kids?
What was the behaviour that was spoiling the party?**

That’s the thing !! I can’t remember any of the behaviour just the loud frequent shouts of

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!!!!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 18/03/2025 13:38

MyIvyGrows · 18/03/2025 13:30

I think people are riding quite hard on OP “constantly mulling it over”. I have usually quite hazy memories of childhood but I remember being extremely gently chided by a friend’s mum when I was about 6yo - more than 30 years ago - and this is vivid as fuck. I don’t think about it constantly but when I do, I can remember everything.

God, now I’m vividly remembering Laura Blackstone’s mum accosting me in the primary school playground in 1994 and shouting at me for “getting my Laura into trouble” (reader: Laura was absolutely the ringleader) by disobeying the teacher’s instructions not to go and play in the trees on the top field! 🤣

MyIvyGrows · 18/03/2025 13:30

I think people are riding quite hard on OP “constantly mulling it over”. I have usually quite hazy memories of childhood but I remember being extremely gently chided by a friend’s mum when I was about 6yo - more than 30 years ago - and this is vivid as fuck. I don’t think about it constantly but when I do, I can remember everything.

Original poster
CringerNinja · 18/03/2025 12:56

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread - I’m sure none of you back in the day would’ve done anything so heinous as

SPOIL DAVID’S PARTY!! Grin

The party was at David’s house btw not in a leisure centre or external venue or anything

OP posts:
Happyears · 18/03/2025 12:17

I should think several of the children present would have cringed at that - I would have.
I wonder why it is still bothering you years later, though.

ComtesseDeSpair · 18/03/2025 12:14

I think OP is getting a bit of unnecessary stick here! I think we all remember odd events from childhood, particularly if they were related to something which made us feel a particular way. I remember being taken on a day trip by my aunt and uncle and cousin when I was about 9 and mistaking some cows for sheep, and all of them laughing for ages. I worried the whole day, I genuinely thought that my aunt and uncle were going to feed back to my parents and my other set of aunt and uncle we were meeting up with that I didn’t know the difference between cows and sheep, and that everyone thought I was stupid! I was just a bit of a sensitive kid and worried about letting people down by being dumb.

Aunt and uncle and cousin obviously forgot immediately and of course didn’t even remember it to tell anyone, and I’m not longer a sensitive little thing (in the slightest 😁) - but I still remember it happening and how embarrassed and anxious I felt at the time!