Stepchildren and uni costs

We just paid for accommodation.

Why aren't degree apprenticeships an option what is he wanting to do. What's the degree in. Apprenticeships are so much better than uni and alot do uni included you get paid and obtain a degree doing it. Could always move away and do this. Is he just wanting freshers week and the experience

Lots of dc learn to drive in sixth form but then have no car at university. They can go on parents policy in hols or temp insurance like veygo.

He thinks it’s coming from you OP, because I’m guessing you’re paying for the lessons?

Have you had a conversation with your husband about how much financial support you’ll be providing for SC as adults? Will you be giving all the children equal support for things like weddings, cars, house deposits?

I think he’s right to be afraid. I have one at uni and the costs are £££££.

Regarding working whilst there, that really depends on how full on the course is and what is available. My DS’s course is pretty labour intensive and so he only has a casual/ad hoc job and will work over the summer.

Jobs can be exceptionally hard to come by as well. My ds applied for about 30 jobs before getting one.

As soon as he leaves for uni he’ll start talking about how he’s an adult, so let him be an adult. I had two jobs at one point when I was a student to make ends meet. He needs to get a job and learn to budget.

The thing lots don’t appreciate is how long accommodation contracts are.so eg lots of yo finish end March save for exams and will head home but full rent still paid until June. Then probably paying yr 2 private rentals from July. I’d be wary of promises to pay mum money for home as it is probably needed for rent.

There is also a huge diff between not wanting/needing a job, and refusing to get one.
If one of mine refused to get one if it came to it, they would soon find themselves on a different side of the fence altogether.
I am kind and generous, not stupid.

He might genuinely struggle to get a job. Friend of mine her son has applied for 96 part time jobs to keep him going while at college. Admittedly he is 17yo so can't apply for bar work but was applying for barista, shops work, cafes, restaurants, etc. He just got one thankfully, but competition is fierce.

Offer days often include talks for parents re finances and accommodation costs etc. I’d encourage dad to go with yp. Offer days are usually around this time of year.

Halls are often cheaper. Private rentals are often 51 weeks and need guarantor.
Looking at accommodation costs is a big part of deciding where to go.
Some may be in yp’s control eg choosing none en-suite but if they are at insurance choice or through clearing they may get stuck with only expensive accommodation. My dd’s friend is at York through clearing and pays over £9000 for halls. My dc’s accommodation at a different university none en-suite is only £6000.

Accomm got more expensive every year for my 2. Uni halls seem to be the most reasonable but Private landlords are definitely more money and it has increased each year. My first lived at home so that was v different.
Food is also more expensive, isnt it for everyone really though.
I think our outgoing for 2 at the moment comes in about 4k a month for both, breaking down fees, rent, food, living, driving etc etc.
But its an investment and they are doing great degrees, one is nearly done and has 3 job offers already, the other is specialising in her field for another bit, more money lol but it will pay off.
They dont have PT jobs, they have done a bit in the summer but we dont want them working in termtime. It really depends on your circumstance and what degree they are doing. We are lucky, well its not luck, its hard work, but we are lucky we can afford it.
They are very aware of their privilage and they pay it forward a lot in their own lives, they are also very appreciative and are very good with their finances and managing what we give them.

This has been such a helpful thread! SDD is heading off to Uni and I’ve JUST discovered that DH didn’t realise loans were means tested and he had no idea we’d need to top up 🤦‍♀️ I’ve been wondering/worrying how much she’d need each year and it’s really helpful to see other posters suggesting that the max loan is good guide. I should have thought of that! Unfortunately, I know she’s looked at some accommodation which is £9kpa… I think an all parties budget conversation is needed.

Her Dad also assumed the first year was most expensive, and then she’d live in a crap house like he and I both did… I asked him if he’d wondered who all the people living in the multitude of fancy new flats around our local uni were. Is it the new norm that yrs 2 and 3 are just as/more expensive for accommodation?

How much is all that, per month? Equivalent to the extra £100-150 you’re paying now?

I’d be tempted to increase his allowance now but say it’s to cover those additional things (or savings) so he has experience of budgeting, and realises you’re not just an endless money pit.

My daughter is going to uni in September. Her maintenance loan (between £6000-7000)won’t even cover the rent for her accommodation (she’s staying in halls). We’ve said we’d pay the extra £2000 towards her accommodation, pay for books etc and I’ll try and send her some money for food each month. She has to work to afford luxuries, as she does now. She’s had a job since she’s completed her GCSE’s and plans on transferring to her local branch by uni when she goes. She often works 16+ hours a week and is planning on picking up extra shifts over the summer (her choice). She tries to save at least half of her wages. She bought a car with some inheritance but has paid her first years insurance, bought 4new tyres and replace the suspension with her savings. She also very social and does regular activities with friends, has gym membership etc, all paid for by herself. She’s found some people going to the same uni as her through social media and they are all planning on finding work as well.

I'm aware that his mum is supposed to make up the difference, though morally, I think both parents should contribute according to their ability. It's a stupid system in any case, which takes into account the income of the resident stepparent while ignoring the non-resident parent. That causes a lot of problems.

I've already said that I think what the OP is offering seems perfectly reasonable.

IMO that is enough cash.
if he takes the loan, he should have some extra too. He will be fine

I'm concerned he think we'll "rescue" him, which we 100% don't plan to.

What makes you think that he thinks like this?

Don't know if anyone has mentioned it yet but looking ahead (I didn't know this at the start) second and third year he will have to rent off campus with shared bills and that can be ££££££ especially if you share with someone who leaves a storage heater on day and night (for example). I found the second and third years harder to cover for both of mine.

Yes, it will depend on which Uni he chooses, of course.
One DD2 is at Cardiff and her costs are quite a bit lower than DD1 at Leeds. So I don't think York will be at the cheaper end. We've also got DD3 studying abroad - that's a whole other level!
Anyway, in reality £10,500.00 is going to be extremely tight. And it is not as easy as just 'get a job' anymore, they're not always easy to come by but it also depends on the course. DD1 could work but budgets like it's an extreme sport, so doesn't need to. DD3 can and does work but DD2 needs most evenings and weekends free for rehearsing, studio time, sound checks, gigs/concerts etc and so has found it really difficult to find anything to fit round that.
He also (again depending on Uni obvs) will likely find Halls prioritised for first years so would be lucky to get that in year 2/3(4). And if he does get a job he'll likely not be able to go home outside of Uni terms if he wants to keep his job, so would need living expenses for 12 months a year (ie his DM won't be able to have the money). If he knows his choices though, you can do a basic budget for each. We did that, spreadsheet with average costs (including travel to and from etc) so DDs could see what the situation would be at each.