For this small matter to be a deal breaker?

So many comments that completely fail to understand the principle over the detail. I am not an avid social media user and I am happily married but even I can see this is concerning in terms of the principle.

I think you have bigger fish to try. You are in your forties and obsessing about social media like a teenager. Grow up a thicker skin.

I've no idea why you're getting such a hard time OP, YADNBU. It would be different if he didn't like or doesn't use social media but given he does it's such a small/easy act of public acknowledgement of the relationship and it's so clearly important to you that it doesn't matter if you're being rageingly UR in a way, a loving and committed boyfriend would surely just do it anyway. Like those women that make a big deal of insisting their boyfriend bring them chocolate when they're on their period, myself I don't see/get it but it's a small loving favour, why wouldn't you? It's not even like you're asking him to explicitly add a relationship status like the bad old days of Facebook, just hit follow and like a picture or two, you might do that with a total stranger or random acquaintance. And it makes it even more sus that he's liking his ex's pictures knowing you'll see it, being cynical it's almost like he's making a point that he's a free agent. If you've tried talking to him already and there are other problems in the relationship your gut might be right to tell you it's time to call it quits?

I think he’s keeping his options well open, did you ask why you don’t feature in any photos? It feels very disrespectful and it sounds like you could do much better

Putting your 2 threads together, you think you're in a serious relationship. He thinks the two of you are dating. He's keeping his options open and not investing financially in your family events. Regardless of what he's saying to you, his actions show that he's not all in.

In time he might come to feel the same way as you do, but he's not there now.

You need to have a conversation with him and then decide what you want

He wants to appear single to women he doesn’t know closely.

Talk is cheap OP. It really looks like he wants to "hide" you, not from everyone (the people you met) but for some woman he's dating/trying to date on the side. He posted no picture with you in them deliberately and he doesn't want to follow you/you following him because he's got a secret life he wants to keep hidden. If it barks like a dog it probably is a dog.

I was about to vote YABU until I got to the bit about him liking some ex girlfriend's posts.

I am not a huge social media user, in fact, I don't even think my wife and are are Facebook friends, but if he is interacting with other women and not you, I think that's a tad disrespectful even this early in your relationship. There could be other extenuating circumstances though, and the devil is always in the detail.

Personally, if social media is such a big thing for you @Ifiwerea , I would probably look for someone more aligned to your thinking.

I’m a similar age to you, work in a social-media adjacent role, use social media a lot and been in a post-divorce relationship for a little over a year.

Have never once looked to see who has liked my boyfriend’s posts, let alone followed up to check the profiles of those people.

So yeah, you make your own stress. You don’t have to do this to yourself or him.

I know you work on social media
But FUCKING SOCIAL MEDIA !!!!!!
It has the younger people of today tormented , disappointing to see it’s having that effect on People in their mid 40s 🤷🏻‍♀️…
That aside , I would also be disappointed if I went on holidays with my bf , 6 months in or not , still your bf , eventhough early & he put photos up of our holiday but not any that I am in !!
If he didn’t put up any , then I wouldn’t be bothered at all , but he did ……

His actions are speaking louder than his words and it looks like he's just not that into you. I'm a similar age and would be devastated in your situation.

It’s a “hellscape” because you make it a “hellscape”.

Checking out who’s liked what, who’s following who, what people look like, who the ex’s are.

Just stop

Enjoying the moment

Social Media is a toxic swap… and as the great Moira Rose said “an echo chamber for narcissists”

I don’t follow my husband on SM, have no idea what he’s liked on there. Also don’t follow my daughter, and a number of my relatives … feels too intrusive.

I think you really need to slow this right down. He isn't as all in as he is trying to make you think. You have kids and yourself to protect here. Take your time and let the relationship develop at a slower pace. It's only been a few months, you cannot know that this is a good guy at all.

How do you know he’s liking photos of an ex? Are you stalking her pics?

You’re getting a hard time OP - the voting suggests differently to the comments so far. I can see why it would upset you and I would find it odd that he would refuse to follow you on social media and not put any pics up of you whilst being in contact with an ex over social media. (This is coming from someone who rarely posts anything on social media).

You need to have an honest conversation with him about it though.

I'm your age and I can't relate at all. I have been dating too in the last couple of years and some have lasted a few months here and there but it sounds like you get way more involved much quicker than I do. I would have no idea what their exes look like and I wouldn't have met their parents so soon. It's far too soon to know if this is going to become a relationship at this stage. I think the problem is that you see him as a boyfriend and he sees you as someone he's dating and he wants to keep his options open and not signal to the world (of women) that he is taken.

Maybe after 6 months you think you have a boyfriend.
He on the other hand isn’t thinking that deeply about it at all.

He's keeping himself open to invites from other women. No one is going to DM him or like his photos if you are in them.

Jesus Christ what's wrong with the lot of you?

You're like a pack of hyenas, collecting to tear strips off someone.

I've been on MN since it was all fields more years than I care to remember but this isn't whip smart vipers, it's simply bullying.

Get a hobby that doesn't involve shitting on people.

OP, I'd agree to be wary it's not a good sign, unless he had a solid reason e.g. does he have DC and he's not ready to tell them he's dating? If not, and if he uses social media then it could well be a sign he's not that serious about the relationship. How do you feel about him?

When you say you work in social media, do you mean you’re an influencer or, say, an employee social media manager for a company?

If you’re an influencer and/or make money from your social media I think it’s perfectly reasonable that he doesn’t follow as that’s your work (ditto if he is an influencer), and he might not be interested in seeing that.

If it’s your personal social media, then it is a bit of a red flag - I could get over it, but if you can’t then throw him back and find another.