Someone called the bloody police on me

not the same really but I recently stayed in a hotel and heard something that sounded like someone in some level of distress similar to what you were describing, i called the hotel reception for a welfare check and they soon called me back to let me know it was an adult with SEN experiencing a meltdown or similar with a carer present trying to calm them down and that they had checked on the situation and it was all okay. i felt bad that i had caused the hotel reception to disturb them but also felt very relieved once i knew the reality of the situation and ultimately felt that i had done the right thing as i would far rather have intervened and had it be fine/a misunderstanding than not said anything and have the situation be more malicious or dangerous. so sorry to hear you were upset and completely understand why but just know its very unlikely the neighbour meant anything bad by it at all and it is not a judgement on you <3

That must be very upsetting OP. You have nothing to worry about though.
On the other hand, it’s much better that people call the police if worried, even if they aren’t really sure, and the police check it out and confirm everything is okay. Ot would be far worse if a child in danger was missed because no one did anything.

I'm so sorry. As a parent of an ND child, I understand how frightening this is. I am surprised my neighbours haven't called the police on my before now when my child has been shouting at us to let her go mid-meltdown!

As a police officer it isn't unusual for us to get these kinds of calls. I agree it was likely well meaning and based on a valid belief that a welfare check was needed. It's really important that agencies such as Police and Social Services are viewed as positive supports rather than the enemy, despite a seemingly common misconceptionsl that we like to get people in trouble just for our own amusement, or that SS take kids away willy nilly this simply isn't the case. We are all parents / sisters / brothers/ actual people with lives and families ourselves and we simply don't have time to stick our beak in where it's not needed nor firm judgements about families who clearly just had a wobbly moment in whatever form. Honestly, it'll be done and dusted in everyone else's mind. I do get how you feel this, perhaps a note through the neighbours door dressed up as an apology for any disturbance and a brief explanation as to the issues you face might make you feel better about it.

I would also be mortified but I’d also say you know that you didn’t do anything wrong so really who cares what other people think. It’s hard enough to deal with those needs of a child. Assuming the police were kind and understanding so really nothing has happened. You don’t need to be embarrassed or ashamed and in reality the neighbour probably did the right thing .

Of course the OP’s not blaming the neighbours. But it’s very shaming to think people think she’s the sort of parent who needs the police calling. I think maybe you need to have been there to get it

From the neighbours point of view it is always better to call and it be investigated and found to be something like this, a none incident, than do nothing and a child is genuinely being harmed. With horror stories in the news like Sara Sharif it is always better to be safe than sorry, imagine how you'd live with yourself if you heard what sounded like abuse, did nothing, and a child was killed.

I hear you. It’s my biggest fear too. My (AuDHD) DD went through a very tiresome phase of pretending we’d pushed her - or when she ran at you and you put your hands up to protect yourself, she’d dramatically rebound off you (think Italian footballer or telenovela) and yell “YOU PUSHED ME!” when melting down. Thankfully this seems to have passed.

Can you talk to him about what might have happened?

Yes as PP said better to have concerned neighbours than those that don’t give a shit. Police would rather come out and find everything is ok than something worse.

Hope you are both ok. Presumably Police were satisfied and left.
Your son was screaming get off me loud enough to heard outside. It’s same as a child shouting for help. Whilst there was an innocent explanation it’s better someone was concerned and called for help. If he’d injured you eg pushed you over and you’d hit your head, you both may have needed help.

I don’t know what happens in this sort of situation but I’d hope that the police would go back to the person who reported and let them know that all is well.

That must feel really difficult.

Is it possible whoever called doesn’t know your child has SEN, or what an incident can involve?

I would try and turn it around and feel grateful that you have a neighbour that was well meaning and didn’t turn a blind eye.

Nothing bad happened, everything is ok.

That must be really tough OP, try not to take it so personally, the neighbour 100% did the right thing (although not needed in your situation). Can you speak to your neighbours and explain the situation? The police will have seen how things are and that all is ok so I’m sure there is nothing to worry about