Someone called the bloody police on me

If you are worried OP, next time set up to film yourself during the meltdown (if this isn’t inflammatory or distressing to your child). It is better to have concerned neighbours - they aren’t to know and did the right thing. They can’t discern a meltdown from a child genuinely in danger. Hopefully now they do know, and so do the police. Xx

To be fair, I wouldn't stop worrying about a child's safety just because he has SEN. SEN children shouldn't be abused either, you know.

You say that your son is scared the police are going to take him away. You need to reassure him strongly that this isn't the case, and you need to make sure you don't suggest to him (now or going forward) that he can't shout or tell others outside of the home how he's feeling, in case the police come again. That is the most damaging thing you could do to him. He needs to be able to talk to other adults and yell when in distress without having this terrible threat hanging over him.

no one is going to take your son away. SS don't do that unless there is clear and immediate harm to the child - their approach is supportive intervention.

Could be a case of chinese whispers- the officer who came wouldn't have spoken directly to the person who called, the caller could have said 'just heard a child shouting', call handler would input into system as ' welfare check, child shouting', call dispatcher said 'welfare check, heard screaming child', officer said 'welfare check, child screaming for help'.

It's been horrible but try not to get caught up over wording. As PP said be happy that you have neighbours who care.

Op if it makes you feel even a tiny bit better my DD had such a huge meltdown in a shopping centre once someone called security as they thought I was trying to abduct her. She was screaming "You are hurting me", flailing, kicking, hyperventilating even though I was just sat next to her on the floor .It was a horrendous day and well before we knew she was autistic. I completely get your feelings. I can laugh about it now -10 years on. I used to dread someone calling the police but also kind of wondered why no one did as her regular meltdowns did sound like a child in terrible danger.

We had the police called on us in IKEA. Someone thought my ex was kidnapping our son.

It was embarrassing but I just assumed they meant well and I’m grateful people look out for kids

In your position I would drop individual cards through each neighbours door, explaining your child’s condition and apologising for any disturbance. I would include my number and email address too, should they wish to get in touch.

It would be far better to explain the issue rather than get angry. At the very least they can message to check you are okay next time rather than calling the police.

I know you are upset, but the neighbours did the right thing with yours and your child’s best interests at heart. Many more children would be saved if more adults took an interest. In your case there was never any need to worry but that’s not always the case. Sometimes people become desemtised to the extent of the disruption, which is understandable. Be happy you live around people that care op.

"SOMEONE CALLED THE BLOODY POLICE ON ME"

This strongly implies that they shouldn't have. Which in turn implies that you wouldn't have.

I hope things feel better in the morning OP.

I understand that you were embarrassed and also felt threatened. Anyone would feel that way in that situation.

That said, I think someone just misheard and misunderstood. Which would mean they actually acted appropriately, based on what their mistaken concerns.

They'll probably find out the truth of the situation. And then they'll be the ones who are embarrassed, when they realize their mistake.

Anyway, it sounds like the authorities got it right and also that you have plenty of support. I think it will just blow over soon. Best wishes.

Please do write a note or a FB post to neighbours. They will be able to understand your situation a lot better and perhaps help, which is what the vast majority of people want to do. Whoever called the police will have done so out of concern but I totally get that it was really upsetting for you. You poor thing, you sound shattered. I'm glad you have good friends to help you. But your other neighbours might be able to help share the load a little as well if you confide in them.

I’m sorry OP that sounds horrible and I totally get why you feel the way you do. The truth is you are parenting a very high needs child and doing your very best, you have nothing to apologise for or feel bad about. As you think it’s a neighbour who reported you I’m going to go against the grain and say I don’t think they should have - assuming they know you and your child, and know your child has additional needs?

So OP if you heard a child in a neighbouring property like this would you just ignore and think the child is fine no need to do anything?

Posters are actually being very sympathetic, while reassuring the OP that it was unlikely to be personal.

Again, because people want to help!

I think it’s really easy for people to say you shouldn’t take it personally, but it’s not that simple or easy.

oh OP that’s so difficult and I would feel the same as you. I do think that the note idea is a good one and just make sure it isn’t defensive just very polite. Or if you have a street Facebook stick a wee thing on there. I teach SEN children and one parent many years ago was detained by security at the shopping centre till the police came as his daughter had been screaming. Obviously people want to help and don’t want to think a child is in danger and they stood by and did nothing but at the time I also thought how devastating that must have felt for him. I would try to place it in your head as they had good intentions and not to dwell on it.

Oh I feel for you. This is a fear of mine. My 8 year old is NT, but screams like she’s being murdered every time I brush her hair.

“GET OFF ME! DONT TOUCH ME! You’re HURTING ME” etc etc.

Honestly feel like it’s a matter of time.

Oh man, what a shitty situation. Everyone here is trying to do the right thing.

No advice just a massive hug!

My child used to have meltdowns and regularly used to scream 'help me'

I had the police called me on me a lot.
(To be fair it was by neighbours who were using this as part of their harassment towards us but still, it fit in very nicely for them!)

It is awful. Absolutely awful. The first time is the worst cos you're not expecting it. I don't know about you but I went into such a panic when they came the first time too.

But nothing came of it. They could see my child was ok. Take heart.

But I know how awful it is

I suppose they did. That would make sense. I think what was getting at is, not to feel any sense of shame or worry about it - maybe neighbours don't understand but the police do because they likely have seen this before.

This. Your neighbour cared enough about your DC to make that difficult call.

OP -It sounds as if you are having a tough time just now - but that your parenting is keeping your son safe.

Lots of other children are not safe at home - and this terrible fact is something more of us understand these days.

Don't take the report so personally.
If someone walked past your house and heard the noise -knowing nothing else - would it have sounded distressing? Perhaps they didn't hear the word 'help' but could they hear a distressed/pleading child and interpret it that way?

Whoever they were - they did the right thing. They heard something very worrying - a child sounded distressed. Getting someone with authority to check it out was the right thing to do.

I would put letters in 2x doors each way, thanking them for being the type of neighbour that acts if needed and explaining a very little about your child and his needs and a small apology if you ever disturb them (not that this is needed btw).

You have nothing to be embarrassed about, its tough, being a mum is hard work, being a mum with a child who has additional needs it's even harder, try not to get upset about it, remember whoever it was heard it through walls and it may have sounded different to them, you know the support you provide and everything you are doing for your child.

Stay strong, and be kind to yourself.

Your neighbour meant well and if more people intervened where children are concerned, perhaps a few more wouldn't suffer.

It can only be a good thing.

it could have been a random passer by. I know it’s horrid for you but more important is safeguarding kids.