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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to?

117 replies

QuickPlayer · 17/03/2025 22:00

People say “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” but isn’t asking something you genuinely don’t know just admitting ignorance? The smartest people seem to ask questions to test others, confirm what they suspect, or guide a conversation - not because they’re clueless.

If you have to ask, doesn’t that mean you’ve already lost the upper hand? AIBU to think that in many cases, asking questions is just exposing a weakness?

OP posts:
JeanPaulGagtier · 17/03/2025 22:11

I think you already know the answer to this...

DanielRicciardosSmile · 17/03/2025 22:11

Why would I ask a question I already know the answer to? Unless I'm hosting a pub quiz, that is.

Lostcat · 17/03/2025 22:10

QuickPlayer · 17/03/2025 22:09

I don’t necessarily see life as a competition, but in many environments - work, social dynamics, even negotiations - asking the wrong question at the wrong time can shift how people perceive you. It’s not about having the ‘upper hand’ over anyone but about being strategic in how you present yourself.

Show quote history

Or you could just be authentic?

Sortumn · 17/03/2025 22:10

The most intelligent people I know, know what they don't know and are smart enough to ask intelligent questions in order to understand more.

Lungwort · 17/03/2025 22:10

It’s called intellectual curiosity, surely, rather than ‘admitting ignorance’?

luckbug · 17/03/2025 22:09

I guess you know the answer, or you wouldn’t be asking.

Original poster
QuickPlayer · 17/03/2025 22:09

KrisAkabusi · 17/03/2025 22:03

Life isn't a competition. Why do you feel the need to have the upper hand over everyone?

I don’t necessarily see life as a competition, but in many environments - work, social dynamics, even negotiations - asking the wrong question at the wrong time can shift how people perceive you. It’s not about having the ‘upper hand’ over anyone but about being strategic in how you present yourself.

OP posts:
Enko · 17/03/2025 22:09

How will you ever learn anything about other people if you don't ask questions. Book learning is one thing but never asking a question to widen your horizons is in my view sad.

MargaretThursday · 17/03/2025 22:07

This is a kind of ironic question.

Either you know the answer to it, in which case posting just to get validation.
Or you don't know the answer, in which case you shouldn't have asked it.

Marble10 · 17/03/2025 22:07

No one is born knowing everything

TiredEyesToday · 17/03/2025 22:07

That’s what people like Donald Trump would have you believe. But Trump isn’t smart. He’s ruthless, and singularly self interested.

Genuinely smart people are curious about the world, other people, other view points, are aware of the limits of their knowledge / ability, and the vastness of human experience/ knowledge compared with their own, and value co-operation and collaboration.

TY78910 · 17/03/2025 22:07

No, it shows vulnerability, humility and openness to learn. Nobody likes a snobby know it all / somebody who thinks they're a superior human.

Sminty2 · 17/03/2025 22:07

I think that asking questions is a sign of intelligence. You are finding answers and using them to form an opinion or a new method of doing something or reasoning. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Question everything. It’s how we learn, and learn to change our views. If you never question, you never learn.

Poppins2016 · 17/03/2025 22:05

The dumbest question is the one you don't ask...

HellonHeels · 17/03/2025 22:05

Applies to barristers cross examining in court.

Day to day life, nothing wrong with asking questions you don't know the answer to.

Monvelo · 17/03/2025 22:04

How else do you learn?!

KrisAkabusi · 17/03/2025 22:03

Life isn't a competition. Why do you feel the need to have the upper hand over everyone?

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