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Original poster

Baby showers

137 replies

rosedahlialily · 17/03/2025 16:35

First time Mum here, I don’t know where to start with my baby shower.
it seems that everyone is having big, extravagant get togethers but I don’t know the etiquette behind it all.

Does the mum organise everything or friends or family? Does the mum foot the bill for everyone, or is everyone expected to contribute (ie. If it’s at a restaurant)

I had a big beautiful wedding so feel cheeky asking people to turn out for me for a baby shower as well; but seems like everyone does this and it’s really typical now ?
I don’t want to miss out as it’s my first baby

OP posts:
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5
CarpetKnees · 17/03/2025 17:27

"Everyone" doesn't, at all, so you won't be "missing out" on anything.

If you want to get together with friends or family before the baby comes, then do it. It doesn't have to be a big 'thing' - just tell people you fancy going to X before the baby is born and let you know by such and such a date if you want to come. Send a link to the menu.

Londonrach1 · 17/03/2025 17:23

Don't know a single person that's had one. Think it's an urban tale

Corinthiana · 17/03/2025 17:19

rosedahlialily · 17/03/2025 16:35

First time Mum here, I don’t know where to start with my baby shower.
it seems that everyone is having big, extravagant get togethers but I don’t know the etiquette behind it all.

Does the mum organise everything or friends or family? Does the mum foot the bill for everyone, or is everyone expected to contribute (ie. If it’s at a restaurant)

I had a big beautiful wedding so feel cheeky asking people to turn out for me for a baby shower as well; but seems like everyone does this and it’s really typical now ?
I don’t want to miss out as it’s my first baby

You won't miss out on gifts - people will bring them when the baby's born, in my experience.

Corinthiana · 17/03/2025 17:18

It's a recent thing in the UK, no such thing when I had mine (born mid 90s). I only knew about them because I saw it on American tv shows!
So I don't know what the etiquette is. Perhaps ask your friends? You don't have to have one, but if you do, make sure people aren't spending too much money.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 17/03/2025 17:13

Sadly, they are an american import, not something particularly special for mother-to-be due to drinking restrictions, while everyone else has a riot!
Ok, I exaggerate, but it's one of those things, along with school proms, that should be consigned back over the sea!

Lanzarotelady · 17/03/2025 17:08

rosedahlialily · 17/03/2025 16:35

First time Mum here, I don’t know where to start with my baby shower.
it seems that everyone is having big, extravagant get togethers but I don’t know the etiquette behind it all.

Does the mum organise everything or friends or family? Does the mum foot the bill for everyone, or is everyone expected to contribute (ie. If it’s at a restaurant)

I had a big beautiful wedding so feel cheeky asking people to turn out for me for a baby shower as well; but seems like everyone does this and it’s really typical now ?
I don’t want to miss out as it’s my first baby

Miss out on what exactly? Presents? For having sex?

Lanzarotelady · 17/03/2025 17:06

They are grabby and tacky - nobody really likes them - do yourself and your friends a favour and say no!

comfyshoes2022 · 17/03/2025 17:03

In my experience someone else hosts, and the host(s) pay.

DenholmElliot11 · 17/03/2025 17:01

Usually a close friend mum or sister organising and decides how to pay. You don’t need to worry.

ByWildLimeCat · 17/03/2025 16:51

My sister organised mine for me, I didn’t actually ask her too and wasn’t sure I’d have one but she went ahead and did it anyway haha - I’m glad she did though as it was a really lovely day. Nothing extravagant at all, it was just in our local pubs event space.

Iknowaboutpopular · 17/03/2025 16:44

You don't have to have one. Will be the response you get on here because baby showers are really scorned round these parts. But i get you, it's your first baby and a lovely thing to be happy about so why not celebrate.

Usually it's your family or friends that might organise one. And don't worry about people feeling you're cheeky, none of your people who love you will actually feel like that.

In terms of organising, the showers I've been to have usually been a contribution thing of £10-20 to cover the food/drinks. Then we all bought our own personal gifts.

MugsyBalonz · 17/03/2025 16:41

Usually friends and family organise them but they're not compulsory and they do t have to be extravagant.

The way my friends and I did it was that everyone except the mum-to-be chipped in £5-£10 which paid for a gift and some cake/nibbles with games at the house of whichever one of us volunteered to host.