Baby showers

I’ve been to quite a few- normally an afternoon tea or meal type affair. All been organised by friends of the mum to be, but none have been surprises afaik.

None of these enormous, Insta type dos have happened around this way. Normally just family and close friends. All of the above that I’ve attended have been enjoyed by all, people brought gifts to their budget but there wasn’t pressure as such.

Congratulations on your pregnancy 💐

There was nothing aggressive about my post. OP seemed undecided so I was trying to understand her reasoning so as to advise her better.

I never had one, why on earth do you think you will miss out if you do? Is it thr presents you are after? If not then what is their to miss out on?

Do it then! Celebrate. Just make sure that it's what you want and enjoy it with your friends. Hosting it at home sounds nice, a bit more personal than a restaurant, and you can probably relax more.

Yes, I read the thread. I always report "hate". Strong opinions are ok! Not hate.
Each to their own.

It's up to you. You want to have a party - go for it. I think it's one of those things where there's no right answer, so just have what you want. There are very different ones described upthread. Do your own thing!
Good luck with the baby. When's it due?

Perhaps you’ve not read the full thread 😂

Oh right. I've not seen hate on here, that's a strong emotion?. I'm sure that if people don't want to go to a baby shower, they won't go. I don't think £4 bibs are the factor.

I’m referring to the sour faced folk on mumsnet intent on telling everybody who whispers the word baby shower that they are tacky, grabby etc.

If somebody wants a baby shower- great good for them.

If they don’t- good for them!

I don’t understand the hate. If you can’t go to a gathering with a gift of £4 bibs and spend time with an expectant mother with a good heart, decline the invite. It really is that simple.

I've had two, and been to many more

I’ve been to a few and usually give a gift at baby shower and then once babies born I’ll bring wine and chocolate or cupcakes over for the parents. I don’t do 2 baby gifts

If you attend a baby shower and bring a gift, do you ALSO give another gift once baby is born?

I've attended only 2 (UK and abroad) but was never sure if I'm supposed to give 2 gifts or not?

Usually someone offers to arrange it for you, friend, mum, sister.

I’ve organised several and don’t hate them but didn’t have for either of my babies.

At their best they’re fun, relaxed gatherings of female friends and relatives with cheap thoughtful gifts, tea and coffee, cake, wishing the mum to be well. At their worst they’re expensive, stressful, competitive, boozy, feature rows, unpleasantness and horror stories about childbirth “organised fun”. After one I went to the mum to be and her mother and a sister had such an ugly row they didn’t speak for years.

Never been to one. After an indescribable loss within our family I’ll wait until the baby is here before I celebrate.

I just had immediate family and a few close friends in my parent's garden. They probably spent about £100 in total, on the cake, some buffet type food (you can get part sandwich platters from supermarkets), and decorations. You could shave that figure down easily if someone home bakes a cake. We played some party games.

I was clear gifts weren't expected, I just asked everyone to write a little message or piece of advice for my future daughter. I just wanted a little party to celebrate going on mat leave and celebrate my first baby. Mine was super low key and I loved it.

I think they are tacky and attention seeking, especially when the hard work hasn’t even started yet.
I also think they can tempt fate and have experienced this. sadly my BF had a baby shower and 1 week later she had a stillbirth which was awful, she had all the balloons still in her living room when she got home which is a vision she keeps reliving. She then had to sort out all the unwanted presents.
I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but after this I didn’t have one.

Why would anyone ruin someone else's celebration? Who would turn up and be sour faced?
If that's happened in your experience, that's an incredibly rude thing to do.

This is exactly how I feel. It makes me far too uncomfortable.

Having had a few friends and family who have lost babies at birth or very late, the idea of a celebration before the baby is born makes me very uncomfortable.

I have no problem getting a baby a gift once it’s born.

This is the reason I didn’t have a baby shower. I went through a twin pregnancy loss before my son.

However, I wish I didn’t feel this way. I think being excited for your babies arrival is a privilege and a nice thing, I don’t begrudge anyone or find it odd that some people want to have a baby shower. Whilst it’s true that you can never be certain, I wish I celebrated my pregnancy more than I did. Living life with the ifs and buts isn’t the best way, so yes there’s always a possibility of it going wrong but to those that want to and can enjoy a baby shower - do it!!

Everyone on Mumsnet gets very sniffy about baby showers. I've been to plenty in the UK and also Canada. I know some people think that because they are American that there couldn't possibly be etiquette but there absolutely is. First rule of baby showers is you never, ever, ever host your own. A friend or relative does the hosting. Also a baby shower is a one off event for the first baby only, not subsequent babies. There's absolutely no expectation for them to be held in restaurants etc and in fact the nicest ones I have been to have been in the home of the host. It's generally a nice excuse to get together for tea and cakes and play some silly games if you like. Guests can then get you a gift but there should be no obligation, especially because in the UK it is more common for people to give a gift when baby has arrived so that should be respected. The nicest idea I came across is the host requested on behalf of the mother to be that everyone buy a book for the baby so no pricey gifts.

People on Mumsnet hate baby showers with a passion. Anyone that’s had one is grabby and tacky and is jinxing their unborn baby.

Back in the real world lots of people have them and some of us quite enjoy them. OP have you been to any?
In my social circle a baby shower is a get together of a few females in one of their houses with baby shower games (guess the size of the bump and the like). The friends agree an amount we can all afford, usually £10/20 and each of us take charge of something; so one person gets the balloons, the other the sandwiches and another the drinks (soft). It’s seen as a last girlie get together before the baby comes and we have a lovely time. Some people get token/funny gifts but we usually save the gifts for the birth.
Speak to your friends/family and tell them you’d like one.