To think 50/50 childcare split sounds terrible

He's a brilliant dad and he deserves as much time with them as I do

it’s not about what either of you deserve though .
this is the problem is that culturally/ legally we have started to see things in these terms- what do men “deserve”, what are men entitled to.
it should be about the kids best interests. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yes you swap the 3 the 3 is Fri-sat-sun
so it’s.
mon and Tues with parent A
weds and Thurs with parent B
Fri-sun with alternate parents

Yes it’s awful but who is going to give up their time with their child to be the EOW parent? Is that just as awful in a different way?

Pretty much everyone who says it’s a bad idea will be assuming the dad should therefore have less time. It’s never the mum…

Then you support that with visual aids such as a calendar. And by each parent being a parent and saying things like "today I'm dropping you off at nursery and daddy will collect you and you'll have so much fun and I will see you soon"

3 year olds who go to nursery some days and have time with parent or grandparents might not know it's Tuesday but will know it's a granny day etc. They are capable of change and adaptation when properly supported by loving adults.

A week is far too long for a 3 year old to be without either parent and a midweek visit would be totally confusing for the poor kid.

But the child is entitled to loving relationships with both parents and no system is perfect.

Maybe I'm being dim but surely 2-2-3 isn't 50/50 unless you're swapping the 3?

Friends of mine have small children and split when little was 18m. She collects them Sunday night and then has them til teatime Wednesday. He has them Wednesday night till Saturday morning. They alternate Saturday night so it's either 3 or 4 days with each.
It seems to work well actually as they always deal with the same after school clubs etc.

I think 2/2/3 could be a good solution.

I have 2 friends who did 2 2 3 when they split up. It worked very well. Ones youngest was 3 when they split. The other was 4 when her parents split.

It worked incredibly well & none of the kids have suffered

Did you ever do this as a child? Honestly if you’ve never done it as a child I’m shocked that you’re suggesting it was harder on you.

Definitely not what’s best for the child. 1 week on 1 week off better.

The biggest hurdle is the child’s clothes, mostly the males asking woman to return X coat or Y shoes and getting the child to cart these back and forth. Or 1 parent buying expensive clothes and the other from a supermarket -

I would want to know who is responsible for daycare costs, and on which days, if he couldn’t take the child there needs to be reasonable notice, or he finds an alternative care -

Honestly most men won’t put up with this back and to crap -

This is an only child, who is only 3 though. No sibling support, and unlikely to understand the arrangement, or even remember what day it is.

I think it can work and have known it to but it requires parents to get on well and communicate. Same with any split really other than the standard every other weekend which I think lends itself more to one parent being more in charge.

Much less than having an actual attachment disorder which I suspect is the case with her.

I think 50/50 is fair , the children should have a relationship with both parents but 2-2-3 is bonkers. We did 3-4 with my parents (ie 3 days one week, 4 days the next, so 7 days out of 14 with each parent) and it worked fine.

50/50 works great for me and my friends, but that’s because the dads are very involved, organised and wanna see their kids equally

I’m actually wondering if 223 wouldn’t work better when parehts can’t speak to each other tbh.
Then each parent can choose what activity the child does in their days, play dates etc…. Wo having to take the other into account (eg different schedule at work etc…)
Whereas a 1 week in, one week off one week on means coordinating and agreeing in activities etc….

Yes ours is over a 14 day period starting on a Monday…“d,d,m,m,m,m,m,d,d,m,m,d,d,d”and so on

I think 2:2:3 would be hard if it always rotated. M:D:M then D:M:D because it would be so much change.

if you did it as M:D:M. M:D:D it would be consistent weekdays and it’s really 2:2:5:5 which sounds so much calmer.

Everyone gets a weekend. Everyone does weekdays. No one has to go 7 days without seeing the children.

Yes this is what it looks like over a 2 week period.

I’m all for 50/50 but not this way. Someone I know does 50/50 and the child spends a week with her and a week with dad. Works well as her now husband has a child who also does 50/50, they have both children the same week and then a week on their own.

I did it for years and I’m not even that near their dads, like 45 mins away. It was fine. We were all relaxed and flexible about any changes that worked better for the kids etc

For a younger child I’d say this is preferable to longer periods which the child might struggle with. With regards to maintenance all costs would need to be fifty : fifty or maintenance should still be paid.

We did 2 / 2 / 3 from age 3 to age 18. Worked for us.

I think it's awful and not in the best interests of a child. Even adults with two homes don't usually stay 50/50 because we all want a secure base and one true home.