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Original poster

To hate it when people "help" me with the pram

157 replies

willywallaby · 17/03/2025 15:42

Ugh, just a rant! I get my pram on and off buses every day, I know how to do it. People help me without even asking, all the time. Like I've wheeled the back of it onto the street and someone will take the front and lift it down for me but it's always a surprise and I lose my footing. Quite often they don't put it down gently so baby gets SLAMMED down. Today I had wheeled the back wheels off of the bus, and a man lifted the front end so we were hovering in the air and I didn't know how to continue. So for the first time ever I said please can you put my pram down, I don't need help. And I had to insist a couple of times because he was so confused I didn't want help!

OP posts:
GoldDuster · 17/03/2025 16:18

willywallaby · 17/03/2025 15:55

I'm happy for people offer to help! But they pick up my pram without asking, why is that fine?

It wasn't so long ago that buses didn't have level access. There was a huge step down to the kerb, it was a massive pain in the arse to get a buggy on and off, and it was seen as a helpful thing to do, to get the other end to help someone. Could you alter your thinking and see it as a kind thing, with good intention rather than people trying to ruin your day and upset your baby? Easier all round, sometimes, a little attitude tweak, and that is within your control.

InStitchesWithAspergers · 17/03/2025 16:18

Completely agree with you OP. I recently saw someone look like they were struggling so I asked “do you want me to help?” and they replied “yes I was about to ask if you wouldn’t mind!”. I’m autistic but would never dream of just grabbing someone’s pram!

BigRenoLittleBudget · 17/03/2025 16:16

Some of these replies are OTT, this doesn't make you miserable to not want someone to help you with something you've not asked for help with. Not sure why we're always meant to be grateful for things we haven't asked for.

And yes you're right, some people do slam the buggy after they've picked it up, people think they have done the helping by lifting and then sort of drop it and walk off. One time someone did this while helping me off the train (I had asked for help, so I was grateful for it) and my baby started crying and the person was like 'oh sorry I forgot there was an actual baby in this' 😂

RedHelenB · 17/03/2025 16:15

AmusedGoose · 17/03/2025 15:52

You are being horrible. People are being helpful and you want to bitch. Just tell them thanks but no thanks and flash a big smile.

This.

Specialberries · 17/03/2025 16:15

Do you also get worked up when you drop something and someone points it out to you?

Member869894 · 17/03/2025 16:13

What is the matter with you??

menopausalfart · 17/03/2025 16:12

Just say, thank you for your help but I can do this.
Simple really.

WhatGoesHere · 17/03/2025 16:10

Teapotters · 17/03/2025 16:03

People are (purposefully?) confusing kind offers of help with surprise pram grabbing. The former is lovely and to be encouraged, the latter is rude and unhelpful, I hate it too OP!

Nobody wants people randomly grabbing their most precious and vulnerable thing, why would they?!

I suspect people are often 'helping' in order to speed you up or get you out of the way anyway. When I want to help somebody I always talk to them first, its normal!

How miserable.

People are generally very nice and want to help

OriginalUsername2 · 17/03/2025 16:09

I’m with you. It doesn’t make sense for the pram to get raised higher when the ground is lower. They should have asked first anyway.

MyUmberSeal · 17/03/2025 16:09

willywallaby · 17/03/2025 16:07

Why am I getting so many laughs about my use of the phrase "slammed down"? Yes quite often people will lift the pram off for me and then drop it from a height. I agree with PP who says they're probably just trying to hurry me along faster.

Because it made it you sound a right div. That’s why it’s funny.

Tagyoureit · 17/03/2025 16:09

Threads like this make me sad.

People are trying to be kind and to be met with this sort of contempt will stop them offering help to anyone any more and I think that is a bad thing in general.

WhatGoesHere · 17/03/2025 16:08

Are you always this dramatic and hard work?

TheFormidableMrsC · 17/03/2025 16:07

Always always grateful for help with the pram. My children were never “slammed”.

Original poster
willywallaby · 17/03/2025 16:07

Why am I getting so many laughs about my use of the phrase "slammed down"? Yes quite often people will lift the pram off for me and then drop it from a height. I agree with PP who says they're probably just trying to hurry me along faster.

OP posts:
Sayshesheshe · 17/03/2025 16:05

God I love it when someone helps, I get all fumbly with the pram under pressure on public transport and there’s normally a big step up or down from the train to platform or the bus has stopped miles from the curb.

A lovely man helped me carry it up an entire flight the other day when I got to the station and realise it had no lift.

Starlight1984 · 17/03/2025 16:04

Quite often they don't put it down gently so baby gets SLAMMED down.

🙄😂

beasmithwentworth · 17/03/2025 16:04

I understand what you are saying but your way of explaining has the tone of someone who thinks these people are out to get you or doing something awful. Are you this confrontational when people actually try and help you? A polite ‘no I’m fine on my own but thanks for the offer’ would suffice rather than getting quite so angry about people who think they are doing good. I no longer have prams but was always grateful of the offer as an act of kindness even if I said I was fine on my own.

Teapotters · 17/03/2025 16:03

People are (purposefully?) confusing kind offers of help with surprise pram grabbing. The former is lovely and to be encouraged, the latter is rude and unhelpful, I hate it too OP!

Nobody wants people randomly grabbing their most precious and vulnerable thing, why would they?!

I suspect people are often 'helping' in order to speed you up or get you out of the way anyway. When I want to help somebody I always talk to them first, its normal!

Shamrocker · 17/03/2025 16:02

Miserable attitude OP.

And as for 'slammed down' 🙄

aliceinawonderland · 17/03/2025 16:02

If you visit London you might be pleased when random Londoners pick your pram up and carry it up 40 steps!

Boomer55 · 17/03/2025 15:58

Jeez - I was always grateful for help. 🤷‍♀️

EdithStourton · 17/03/2025 15:58

No good deed goes unpunished and all that.

lemondropsandchimneytops · 17/03/2025 15:57

I agree with you OP! To offer help is one thing but to assume is different.

Changingplace · 17/03/2025 15:57

willywallaby · 17/03/2025 15:55

I'm happy for people offer to help! But they pick up my pram without asking, why is that fine?

It’s not, I’m with you - if someone asked can I help them fine but just grabbing the pram stuff could fall out of bags and all sorts, it’s just polite to ask if someone wants/needs help.

JHound · 17/03/2025 15:57

I do think it’s rude for people to assume you need help but equally they are trying to be nice.

I hear the opposite from women complaining how few people are willing to help.

I always ask first though.

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