To hate it when people "help" me with the pram

MANIPULATING

😂😂

Helping a woman with her pram is now being manipulative? Seriously how do you function on the real world? You must have a nervous breakdown every time someone offers to make you a cup of tea

Nonits not dangerous to lend an extra pair of hand when someone is lifting something heavy.

I think I’ve reached peak MN. Helping someone lift a buggy off a bus is dangerous and manipulative

I once got off the tube at Kensal Rise or Kensal Green. It's got really steep steps.

A woman with a buggy got off and everybody else just walked up the steps and left her.

I helped her carry the buggy up the stairs, but I was twatted and wasn't really in any state to be taking a baby's life in my hands - but needs must...

Maybe the other passengers had encountered mothers like @willywallaby and knew to stay well clear?

It's true though. Imagine a world where people see the negative in someone just trying to help ... and a world where no one wants to help anyone anymore. It's not a good thing (and I'd argue is already happening, people not giving a shit about anyone else but themselves). Yes they should ask, but is it really the end of the world if they sometimes don't. I'm assuming they just see someone who thinks needs some help and do that, like holding open a door for someone, or standing up on the tube and giving someone your seat. Being angry at someone being a good person ia a really sad state of mind to be in. I'd rather a world where people help others, than don't.

What a ludicrous over-reaction! 😂

Are you sure you are really reading my post?

It is absolutely fine to offer.

"To manipulate" has two meanings, one of them means physically move an object. Yeah, it might be better to phrase it "manipulate with" strangers buggy, but one would hope that the subsequent mention of mechanics clarifies this.

And yes, physically moving a pram when the first person doesn't know about your intention is a creating a potentially dangerous situation. Have you missed the other poster who got her ankle broken that way? Can't you see how throwing someone off balance when they are stepping up/down is just a bad idea from a point of view of pure physics?

The OP doesn't have any problem with offers of help, why would she?

She just doesn't appreciate people randomly moving her buggy without at least warning her while she is getting on/off with it.

I’m southern and I appreciate offers of help I also like to help wherever I can!

I agree though that the further north you venture, the friendlier people get.

If the op isn’t southern I will eat my hat

People and/or their pushchairs or wheelchairs or belongings then.
Just don't grab, move or touch anything that belongs to someone else without asking.
Amazed that so many adults still need this explicitly pointed out.

I despair for humanity reading this. Your poor child.

Pretty much everyone British says no if you ask to help...

Don't worry, I won't do it in future!

Jeez, I often do it without really 'seeking consent' because it's automatic when I see someone about to struggle getting on or off a bus/train and lifting the front of a buggy gently onto the floor for them seems like a no-brainer. There's rarely time or noise levels for asking in a busy station - I just assumed that people like the help, as I did.

I'm not going to stand around having a conversation asking people for help because people ALWAYS say 'no I'm fine' - it's just our reflexes isn't it? I didn't realise this was so problemmatic.

Another thing I'll just ignore in future!

MANIPULATING

😂😂

Helping a woman with her pram is now being manipulative? Seriously how do you function on the real world? You must have a nervous breakdown every time someone offers to make you a cup of tea

Nonits not dangerous to lend an extra pair of hand when someone is lifting something heavy.

I think I’ve reached peak MN. Helping someone lift a buggy off a bus is dangerous and manipulative

Just nope. There is nothing kind about manipulating strangers buggy without communicating first (unless we talk about preventing imminent danger).

If you don't understand the manners aspect, think about the mechanics involved. One person is balancing with a relatively heavy and bulky object. Someone comes from the other side and unexpectedly moves it in different direction (for example upwards), when the first person can be mid step. Can you see how dangerous it can be?. The buggy put down harder isn't a significant issue on it's own, it's just an illustration how risky the approach is.
And it can be easily prevented if the person "trying to help" used their words.

Yes it is being nice - if so rather live in a world where people make kind gestures and don’t execute them perfectly than never be kind because they’re too afraid to offend snowflake parents and their PFBs. So what if the buggy is put down harder than OP would have liked. Her baby will be fine

I'd love more people to help me.

The amount of times people have sat/stood and watched me struggle through doorways etc in public is pretty sad.

Are they really being nice?

If they verbally offered, that would be nice. Just grabbing the buggy and throwing the OP off-balance sounds pretty rude and dangerous.

Wow I thought my thread had died yesterday. Interesting how polarising it is! Although part of that might be due to reading comprehension issues, as there are a lot of replies saying they love offers of help, but this thread is explicitly about NOT offering to help!
Yes I like it when people offer to help, yes I'm gracious about it, and yes I'm quick to offer to help people when I can.
Whoever it was a couple pages back who said if someone picking up the pram would throw my footing then I need to see a doctor. Well yes I'm incredibly physically weak, that's partly why this is such a problem. I've worked out how to get my pram on and off the bus by myself without falling over and I can unbalance easily if someone grabs it. See PP who broke her ankle.