Should DH add me on the mortgage?

s he meant to give me monthly income?

No he is meant to give you full access to joint account to spend reasonably eg not gambling but coffeees hair cuts clothes toiletries days out whatever gym spa etc

If he is high earner you should have high earning lifestyle same as him

See a solicitor about a divorce
Your dh is a bxxxxrd
Exerting financial abuse

He believes doing things like getting my hair done is an unnecessary expense until I can afford to pay myself.

Does he have hair cuts?

You need to be added to the deeds as co-owner.

This sounds like financial abuse. I'd seek help, do you want to stay with him? As the house was owned before marriage, you may not own half of it, but were you to divorce, you'd be able to get a decent proportion of the asset and accommodation for you and the child would be a high priority for the court. He is a man child who needs to behave responsibly.

This! It’s completely baffling.

He sounds like an abusive arsehole. Sex & housekeeping free of charge. And what exactly do you get out of it?

Absolutely

Financial abuse is a good enough reason to divorce someone.

Because all being named on the mortgage means is that you also owe the bank that money. It gives you liability, if he doesn’t pay then they expect you to pay, it doesn’t give you any additional security.

Also, because you have no income you’re going to actually make it harder to get that mortgage because you are classed as a dependent of him.

You need a job OP, quickly.

Stopped reading at the “we” got pregnant

This is not a marriage. This is financial abuse. You are supposed to be an equal partner. You should be aware of household finances, incoming and outgoing. Are you claiming child benefit? If not, you should be to ensure that your NI contributions are up to date. Is your husband paying into a SIPP for you? What happens when you go back to work? Who will be doing drop offs / pick up for nursery / school? Who is paying for childcare? Who stays at home when your child is ill?

Being on the mortgage or not is a red herring @Rorymyers. You have bigger issues to deal with.

You need to sit down with him and ask for transparency on his finances. You are meant to be a team on the same side.

Assuming he is a high earner as you seem to think, I would then explain that you are carrying the domestic load and looking for a job, and while you are doing that it is unfair (assuming he is also financially solvent) that as partners, you have no disposable income while he has lots. You are not expecting a huge amount but enough so that the disparity between you isn't huge. What sort of husband lets his wife go without basics (I think a haircut is basic)?

Who pays for things for DC?

OP are you from a ''Western'' culture or from one where women don;t have many rights? You don't seem to have any idea of normal married living conditions/rights for women or what they should be . Where do you live?

You cannot be kicked out of the marital home as you have “home rights” until a formal divorce - regardless of who wins it and who is on the deeds or who pays for it.

Plus going on the mortgage/bills enables you to build a credit history & score. Very important these days. Yes no liability, but no stake either.

@Rorymyers - my guess is that you aren’t really happy otherwise you wouldn’t be posting. But think about it this way - you are providing free childcare, cleaning and admin work… I personally find it a bit bizarre that you don’t even know how much he earns? So whilst you are providing all this labour for free he’s obviously contributing towards his pension and all of that and what about uoh? What happens if you want a hair cut, a day out with the girls or new clothes? How do you pay for that?

You have to lodge an interest in the property with land registry to prevent it being sold from under your feet, married or not. So yes it does make a difference being on the mortgage as then no need to register your interest.
You can also be kicked out on your ear and locks changed at any moment if you don’t own or have an official interest in the property.
Obviously you can go through the courts, but that’s tough, expensive, stressful and long.

op is being financially abused.

You need to start taking some responsibility and do some research yourself. We can’t facilitate a discussion for you, you’re old enough to be married and have children and your answers here smack of ai bot