Hi Everyone. Long and complicated one here
My friend, lets call her Jess, is having a big birthday. We don't live close by anymore but are still close, we talk every day and visit as often as we can.
All of her nearest and dearest are coming together for this big birthday. I have been organizing it with the help, and at the request of, Jess's husband.
As time has gone on her closest local friends have been inviting more and more people to the party, all people Jess knows and would love to celebrate with.
Except one
Ive spotted a name in the group of one person that has caused Jess a lot of trouble and issues over the last few years, Jenny. Jess tolerates Jenny because they are mutual friends of another woman they are both close with, lets call her Julie, and part of a much wider friendship group.
Julie is getting married this year and both Jess and Jenny are bridesmaids.
Just recently Jenny went out of her way to make spiteful remarks and really upset Jess. Jess is non confrontational and let it go, vowing to give Jenny a wide berth from now on, and be the bigger person for Julies sake.
Julie, oblivious to whats gone on, invited Jenny to the party.
Ive had so many calls advising me that Jess would not want Jenny there. In fact, Jenny would go out of her way to upset Jess. Just last week whilst out having drinks with a big group, Jenny got drunk and started an argument with Jess's husband and shouted abuse at Jess. Jenny seems to feel threatened by Jess and wants her out of Julies wedding.
Its a surprise party, i have spent a lot of money on tickets. I cant ask Jess outright if she wants Jenny there or not.
AIBU if i speak to Julie and tell her that its Jess's birthday, and maybe Jenny needs to sit this one out?