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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think leaving UK is the best Option now

260 replies

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 10:51

We are thinking of leaving UK now to move to Dubai or USA. We have two young children who are in nursery, not in School yet and one will start school next year.
The reasons are the state of UK. Looking at the state of NHS, the waits are so long if you ever have to go to A&E, you can access better healthcare of you have insurance in any other country. Another reason is the ever increasing tax, we both work full time and I have the potential to earn six figures but I am staying at a flexible job to earn under 6 figures and I am forced to not get a promotion or switching to High paying jobs by the fact that I won't be eligible for 30 funded hours of Childcare which I I think is very unfair on hard working people who want to progress in career while having young children. UK doesn't feels like a family friendly country overall.
We also don't feel safe now going out to city centre etc which have become a ghost town and so much of illegal immigrants loitering around and so much increase in crimes.
Our friends who moved to Dubai are able to afford full time house help, nanny and a driver while earning similar to ourselves. While, here we are struggling with young kids and paying huge taxes. I have family in USA who are earning big bucks and paying much less taxes and being able to save and invest better for retirement while we will be working till 68 potentially 70 which is totally insane.
AIBU to feel leaving UK is the best option now and have you made a move or considering moving?

OP posts:
Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 17/03/2025 11:28

Bye 👋

isthismylifenow · 17/03/2025 11:28

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:20

I am in no delusion to think everything will be perfect and most likely I will miss UK but we are struggling even with good jobs and me not being able to progress in my career just because I don't want to become high earner due to the tax implications and end of any childcare hours funded by government. The taxes are only going to go up but very little improvement in the public services, I don't see when this will get better.

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You are young and if you don't go have an adventure now, when will you do it?

Just go with your eyes open and, be flexible. It will not be home from home.

It would be better to go for a visit first though if you can.

neonjumper · 17/03/2025 11:28

how do you know they’re illegal immigrants? Do you ask them to show documentation to prove they’re not ? Just curious.

Boopear · 17/03/2025 11:27

Sorry, I really can’t believe that you earn to 6 figures. Even in tech which still needs a reasonable level of articulation. It is ‘illusion’ not delusion. Their not there. Are you a native English speaker?

Mellap · 17/03/2025 11:25

Yes it sounds like Dubai would be a better option for you. If you're keen on slavery, it's a good place to be a slave master, which is frowned upon in England. I think it would be better all round if you went there.

jewelcase · 17/03/2025 11:25

cardibach · 17/03/2025 11:21

Odd. I’ve never felt unsafe in the daytime and rarely at night in a range of cities including London. Where have you seen/heard these reports? I mean, yes, rape and assault obviously happen more than they should but you are still more likely to be attacked by a man you know than some random on the high street in the daytime (or nighttime actually).

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This.

The U.K. is absolutely fine in the vast majority of places the vast majority of the time.

Of course there are problems. And perhaps in the OP’s specific situation their life would be better elsewhere. But given their financial situation and ability to even consider emigrating, the UK is able to provide a brilliant life. I honestly don’t get how well off middle class people in the U.K. can be so whiny and can think that other countries are generally much better to live in than this one. It simply isn’t true.

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 17/03/2025 11:25

So, you're worried about immigrants in this country but want to go and be an immigrant in another country?

Right......

Josiezu · 17/03/2025 11:24

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:05

We will be only making the move after we get job offers there. We work in tech industry where salaries are high especially in Dubai and California.
Feel free to mock as much as you like but most city centres are becoming ghost towns now and really rough dodgy looking men loitering around and I have never felt safe going alone with young DC even on day times. There have been reports of such men following women and attempts of rape etc.

Ahh yes, the instant conclusion that a “dodgy” looking man is automatically an illegal immigrant and the answer is clearly to become an immigrant in the Middle East, a bastion of women’s rights.

Purplebunnie · 17/03/2025 11:23

Am I getting this right? You are not going for better paid jobs because then you won't get your 30 free hours? But if you had a better paid job you might actually be better off even without the 30 free hours??

If I am correct then cutting off nose to spite face or have I misunderstood?

Hwi · 17/03/2025 11:22

Don't know about the states, but I would advise against Dubai. I had to be there for work, the best conditions I have ever experienced financially and accommodation-wise. But the weather!!!!!! The weather is disgusting, there is no other way about it. Talk to expats who came back about the weather - if that is OK by you, then it is a different story.

cramptramp · 17/03/2025 11:22

If you want to go, go but you could also consider moving from where you live because it sounds really rough if you’re scared to go out in your city centre.

Fountains · 17/03/2025 11:22

Zebracat · 17/03/2025 11:17

If the op is typical of the “ brain drain”, I think we’ll be ok.

Indeed.😀

(In fact, there used to be a saying ‘Failed in London, try Dubai’…)

Floppyelf · 17/03/2025 11:22

pimplebum · 17/03/2025 11:18

Why would you support a regime that is sexist homophobic and racist ? Hope your kids arnt gay female or brown ?

get health insurance

Isn’t it obvious? They are innately racist and homophobic. Let them go experience Dubai.

cardibach · 17/03/2025 11:21

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:05

We will be only making the move after we get job offers there. We work in tech industry where salaries are high especially in Dubai and California.
Feel free to mock as much as you like but most city centres are becoming ghost towns now and really rough dodgy looking men loitering around and I have never felt safe going alone with young DC even on day times. There have been reports of such men following women and attempts of rape etc.

Odd. I’ve never felt unsafe in the daytime and rarely at night in a range of cities including London. Where have you seen/heard these reports? I mean, yes, rape and assault obviously happen more than they should but you are still more likely to be attacked by a man you know than some random on the high street in the daytime (or nighttime actually).

LovePoppy · 17/03/2025 11:20

FrenchandSaunders · 17/03/2025 10:55

How do you know they are 'illegal immigrants' and not just 'immigrants' ... which you will be if your plan goes ahead.

Oh don’t you know? This OP will simply be an Ex-Pat. Not an immigrant. /s

Floppyelf · 17/03/2025 11:20

Honestly go and enjoy Dubai! Don’t listen to the naysayers! You do you!

godmum56 · 17/03/2025 11:20

I have family who returned from Dubai. The only way they could have a nice lifestyle out there was because of company allowances for residence and education and company support. I can't believe you can do better there than here on the same salary.

ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 11:20

There are massive problems in Germany and Sweden, too.
Nowhere is a Utopia. However, if you're white, very wealthy, happy to live in a compound, rely on cheap migrant labour and are ok with guns, you should be fine, OP.

Original poster
LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:20

isthismylifenow · 17/03/2025 11:16

I am in another country and people are talking about leaving all the time. I have also lived in the UK so do know there are differences.

I honestly think that nowhere is without some issue right now.

Each place has different problems though, so you need to decide what issues you are willing to live with.

Please don't think you are going to be going somewhere new and everything is going to be perfect. It doesn't work like that unfortunately.

I am in no delusion to think everything will be perfect and most likely I will miss UK but we are struggling even with good jobs and me not being able to progress in my career just because I don't want to become high earner due to the tax implications and end of any childcare hours funded by government. The taxes are only going to go up but very little improvement in the public services, I don't see when this will get better.

OP posts:
Sabire9 · 17/03/2025 11:19

Badbadbunny · 17/03/2025 11:10

Decent jobs in the US have private healthcare provided, so that aspect is covered. "Dangerous" areas/schools etc are mostly in specific areas typically "down town" and some very strange often more rural areas - there are plenty of "nicer/safer" places to live, work and go to school if you can live in the "nicer" parts of town or the "nicer" more rural/coastal areas.

My son works in a big UK financial services firm and says there's a "leaving do" almost weekly for someone leaving to work Dubai, USA, Canada or Australia. He can't remember anyone leaving to move to a competitor UK based firm!

There's certainly a very worrying brain drain leaving the UK at the moment.

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"Decent jobs in the US have private healthcare provided, so that aspect is covered."

Eh? You're not aware that people often pay colossal amounts in out of pocket expenses even with insurance?

pimplebum · 17/03/2025 11:18

Why would you support a regime that is sexist homophobic and racist ? Hope your kids arnt gay female or brown ?

get health insurance

Woollysocksandbeer · 17/03/2025 11:18

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:11

Every country has there own challenges but the government should try to actively tackle issues like healthcare, crime, education etc with the ever increasing taxes. Moreover, about Dubai, they are very strict with crimes and about house keepers and nanny, they are paid employees and not slaves, it's absolutely ridiculous thing to suggest, there's a min wage there and there are rules around employment.

There is no minim wage in Dubai (whole UAE afaik) . Only that under certain salary you must provide things like accommodation (bed space).
There are rules around employment everywhere, doesn't mean modern slavery doesn't exist (incl uk)

Packages are dropping too. No taxes, but everything has fees attached.

Zebracat · 17/03/2025 11:17

If the op is typical of the “ brain drain”, I think we’ll be ok.

isthismylifenow · 17/03/2025 11:16

I am in another country and people are talking about leaving all the time. I have also lived in the UK so do know there are differences.

I honestly think that nowhere is without some issue right now.

Each place has different problems though, so you need to decide what issues you are willing to live with.

Please don't think you are going to be going somewhere new and everything is going to be perfect. It doesn't work like that unfortunately.

ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 11:16

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:11

Every country has there own challenges but the government should try to actively tackle issues like healthcare, crime, education etc with the ever increasing taxes. Moreover, about Dubai, they are very strict with crimes and about house keepers and nanny, they are paid employees and not slaves, it's absolutely ridiculous thing to suggest, there's a min wage there and there are rules around employment.

their own challenges.
It sounds as if either of those countries would suit you well. You've got deep pockets and the right attitude.