Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think leaving UK is the best Option now

260 replies

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 10:51

We are thinking of leaving UK now to move to Dubai or USA. We have two young children who are in nursery, not in School yet and one will start school next year.
The reasons are the state of UK. Looking at the state of NHS, the waits are so long if you ever have to go to A&E, you can access better healthcare of you have insurance in any other country. Another reason is the ever increasing tax, we both work full time and I have the potential to earn six figures but I am staying at a flexible job to earn under 6 figures and I am forced to not get a promotion or switching to High paying jobs by the fact that I won't be eligible for 30 funded hours of Childcare which I I think is very unfair on hard working people who want to progress in career while having young children. UK doesn't feels like a family friendly country overall.
We also don't feel safe now going out to city centre etc which have become a ghost town and so much of illegal immigrants loitering around and so much increase in crimes.
Our friends who moved to Dubai are able to afford full time house help, nanny and a driver while earning similar to ourselves. While, here we are struggling with young kids and paying huge taxes. I have family in USA who are earning big bucks and paying much less taxes and being able to save and invest better for retirement while we will be working till 68 potentially 70 which is totally insane.
AIBU to feel leaving UK is the best option now and have you made a move or considering moving?

OP posts:
MeTooOverHere · 18/03/2025 22:17

thepariscrimefiles · 18/03/2025 08:25

Surely though it's obvious that this Trump presidency is not going to be like last time? He feels completely invincible as though he has the 'Divine Right of Kings' so not accountable to any earthly authority.

They are currently deporting people with green cards and ignoring court judgements that what they are doing is unlawful. He could just decide to remove your Democrat governor and install one of his goons in his place.

Look what Elon and Doge are doing. Just cancelling Medicare and Medicaid. Shutting down any media that doesn't grovel to Trump, including the Voice of America which was set up during WW2 to challenge/correct the wartime propoganda coming from hostile countries. The US doesn't seem like a place that any sane person would want to be.

There's a lot making moves to leave the US right now. Even US-born folks are leaving. Word is they have 2 or 3 months to get out if they want to because after that they might not be able to leave. Refugees walking across the border into Canada and being taken into custody.

EvelynBeatrice · 18/03/2025 16:43

New Zealand is climatically unstable which wouldn’t be great either.

Im not sure where would be best. We were talking about relocation possibilities too but mainly due to the deplorable job situation for our kids and general depression that nothing seems to work in the U.K. any more - especially having the worst health service ( other than fantastic staff by and large) on most measures in Europe.

Unfortunately Brexit has closed a lot of doors. Those with dual passports or Irish antecedents are very lucky. Otherwise even the very comfortably off find it hard to relocate

Beachcomber · 18/03/2025 13:23

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:54

I love our NHS and the staff work really really hard to provide the best care they can in the means they have. But, the A&E waiting times were so long when we visited last year with young DC.
UK is a great country but the public services are getting worse every year and the taxes are only going up so I feel we are not getting much value for the high taxes we are paying.

I think you have misunderstood the concept of taxes.

They are not just designed to give YOU things. They also are designed to redistribute wealth.

In other words they are designed to address (at least a little) the inherent unfairness of capitalist society.

Part of the "value for money" consideration is that those who are less fortunate than you have a decent standard of living too.

Radical concept I know...!!

lazycats · 18/03/2025 09:01

I would not look at the US right now and think “gee, that looks like a great place to live!” And it’s not going to get any better post Orange Man.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 18/03/2025 08:54

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 10:56

We like Dubai due to more sunshine and be able to afford house help and nanny plus the growing career prospects.

I doubt you can actually emigrate to Dubai - you’d be an expat. As for sunshine, I lived in the area for 13 years and used to return to the U.K. with dds for 2 months every summer because of the extreme heat. It was too hot to go to the beach - the sand would burn your feet, and the sea was like hot soup. At the hottest times of year we didn’t even go to the pool until about 5 or 6 pm. And we were used to it.

thepariscrimefiles · 18/03/2025 08:25

britinnyc · 17/03/2025 21:05

I know the U.S. is a shit show politically right now and the tech job market isn’t great but overall living in CA with a good job is a much higher standard of living than the UK and our Governor is very anti Trump so we don’t have to worry about access to women’s healthcare etc. I hate Trump but apart from the stock market it hasn’t impacted my daily life, it is very safe where I live, we have a lot of areas with amazing schools, far better worker protections than any other state and a lot of affordable healthcare options compared to other states. Downsides are high taxes and high cost of living. Even if I could leave now and go back to the UK I wouldn’t despite the Trump thing, I just couldn’t replicate my pay check or my Dhs paycheck or the amazing free schools my kids attend and the fact they can walk about on my town without worrying about crime. Those are ultimately my main concerns sadly geopolitics isn’t as important as the wellbeing of my family.

Surely though it's obvious that this Trump presidency is not going to be like last time? He feels completely invincible as though he has the 'Divine Right of Kings' so not accountable to any earthly authority.

They are currently deporting people with green cards and ignoring court judgements that what they are doing is unlawful. He could just decide to remove your Democrat governor and install one of his goons in his place.

Look what Elon and Doge are doing. Just cancelling Medicare and Medicaid. Shutting down any media that doesn't grovel to Trump, including the Voice of America which was set up during WW2 to challenge/correct the wartime propoganda coming from hostile countries. The US doesn't seem like a place that any sane person would want to be.

ScarlettOYara · 18/03/2025 07:03

Inmydreams88 · 18/03/2025 07:00

Oh the irony.
Yes off you go OP you can BE one of those immigrants yourself in another country!

Both of those countries have questionable human rights at the moment and I personally would not move to either.

I think the important thing here, is that it's not in Wolverhampton where they're putting asylum seekers, and it's not Bradford......

Goldenbear · 18/03/2025 07:02

britinnyc · 17/03/2025 21:05

I know the U.S. is a shit show politically right now and the tech job market isn’t great but overall living in CA with a good job is a much higher standard of living than the UK and our Governor is very anti Trump so we don’t have to worry about access to women’s healthcare etc. I hate Trump but apart from the stock market it hasn’t impacted my daily life, it is very safe where I live, we have a lot of areas with amazing schools, far better worker protections than any other state and a lot of affordable healthcare options compared to other states. Downsides are high taxes and high cost of living. Even if I could leave now and go back to the UK I wouldn’t despite the Trump thing, I just couldn’t replicate my pay check or my Dhs paycheck or the amazing free schools my kids attend and the fact they can walk about on my town without worrying about crime. Those are ultimately my main concerns sadly geopolitics isn’t as important as the wellbeing of my family.

Define 'quality of life' as surely that's subjective?

Equally, 'no man is an Island', I wonder how a certain individual's personality cult, his impact on democratic freedoms and American culture doesn't eventually impact you.

Inmydreams88 · 18/03/2025 07:00

Oh the irony.
Yes off you go OP you can BE one of those immigrants yourself in another country!

Both of those countries have questionable human rights at the moment and I personally would not move to either.

Pootlemcsmootle · 18/03/2025 06:59

randomchap · 17/03/2025 10:53

Go on then head to the USA where schools have shooting drills, or Dubai, a misogynistic state propped up by slave labour.

This! Bloody hell, Trump is a nutter, he sat and watched a strike on Iran that he ordered, with his golf clothes on, as if it was a TV programme. He's talking about invading Greenland and Canada and doesn't believe in democracy. Quite aside from school shootings, school shooting drills, absolutely shit annual vacation and no healthcare unless you have decent provision via work, there has literally never been a more insane time to move to the US. Also have you seen how his administration are talking about foreigners these days? What happened to even a Canadian citizen recently?

Your family might be able to have a big house now but are they borrowing a lot and would you, to find that? Because it also sounds like the US has a recession on the way.

I mean the UK isn't in it's most wonderful condition but moving to the US seems insane.

(No idea about Dubai, never been & I don't know anything about it other than when we watch the Prince of Egypt cartoon movie every Christmas we joke it's Dubai the slaves are building given the slave labour comments we heard about the building of the place!!).

CleverButScatty · 18/03/2025 06:41

godmum56 · 17/03/2025 15:10

sorry I don't understand your post and CBA to read back

If you can't be arsed to read back don't comment?
It was obviously in response to the whining about the shortcomings of the NHS.

MeTooOverHere · 17/03/2025 22:30

Canada, Australia, New Zealand.

ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 22:23

SallyWD · 17/03/2025 22:21

It's ridiculous. These people have obviously never been to a third world country. I've been to several and they are nothing like the UK. I've noticed it's often said by racists who don't like seeing so many brown faces.

Very true. They've absolutely no idea what kind of struggle others go through in the developing world just to get the basics. Just to survive. Bradford is a paradise compared to that. However, we know why Bradford was referred to.

Walkaround · 17/03/2025 22:21

Well, if you really think going to the land of the Fentanyl crisis and corrupt bullies in the Whitehouse is a good prospect, then go for it. The grass is always greener on the other side until you get to the other side. I would not class the US as a country I would go to in order to feel safer.

As for Dubai, a lot of people move overseas in a very shortsighted way, without properly researching the long term potential consequences to pensions, access to NHS care if necessary, etc, involved. You will need good financial advice to ensure you don’t stuff up and think you really are as wealthy as your tax free salary makes you feel. You do not want to realise too late you are now up shit creek without a paddle in a very unfriendly country which was only welcoming when things were going right for you. I know someone who is trapped in Dubai, unable to leave due to having debts they can’t pay off. If they try to leave the country, they will be imprisoned. They missed their own parents’ funeral.

All it could take is a bit of bad luck, or a spell of poor health, and you can go from being a welcome expat to being a filthy foreigner, whatever country you choose to migrate to, particularly in these uncertain times. You know how you feel about immigrants, yet you are saying you are willing to risk being the person who wasn’t born in the country you move to and is only welcome for so long as you contribute more than you take.

SallyWD · 17/03/2025 22:21

ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 16:51

The continuing use of the term "Third World Country" on here to describe parts of the UK is very odd (and somewhat ill informed).

It's ridiculous. These people have obviously never been to a third world country. I've been to several and they are nothing like the UK. I've noticed it's often said by racists who don't like seeing so many brown faces.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 17/03/2025 21:52

Chariots77 · 17/03/2025 10:52

Why not just get private health cover here? I wouldn't move to the USA right now if j was paid to. Thea UAE sounds like my idea of hell, but each to their own.

I'm with you @Chariots77. Two places where women's rights are in the gutter. I wouldn't even go there on holiday💩

Cnidarian · 17/03/2025 21:37

Hm.. yes it does sound best if you go

Woollysocksandbeer · 17/03/2025 21:33

Actually are Europeans still gettin paid loads for twch jobs in UAE? The slaries are dropping (if nkt salaries then bonuses so salary drop sideways) in favour of cheaper labour in all industries I know people in. Considering the influx of cheaper willing labour to do 6 days a week for 50% salary (no matter what the salary is) and many, MANY Westerners on old contracts talking about the drop, UAE might not be the best place now as it has been before.
Prices of rentals are ridiculous now

britinnyc · 17/03/2025 21:05

I know the U.S. is a shit show politically right now and the tech job market isn’t great but overall living in CA with a good job is a much higher standard of living than the UK and our Governor is very anti Trump so we don’t have to worry about access to women’s healthcare etc. I hate Trump but apart from the stock market it hasn’t impacted my daily life, it is very safe where I live, we have a lot of areas with amazing schools, far better worker protections than any other state and a lot of affordable healthcare options compared to other states. Downsides are high taxes and high cost of living. Even if I could leave now and go back to the UK I wouldn’t despite the Trump thing, I just couldn’t replicate my pay check or my Dhs paycheck or the amazing free schools my kids attend and the fact they can walk about on my town without worrying about crime. Those are ultimately my main concerns sadly geopolitics isn’t as important as the wellbeing of my family.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/03/2025 20:55

Only go if your marriage is rock solid though as there are lots of affairs in the ex pat community and you don't want to split and then one person be stuck there and be fighting over the children

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/03/2025 20:54

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:05

We will be only making the move after we get job offers there. We work in tech industry where salaries are high especially in Dubai and California.
Feel free to mock as much as you like but most city centres are becoming ghost towns now and really rough dodgy looking men loitering around and I have never felt safe going alone with young DC even on day times. There have been reports of such men following women and attempts of rape etc.

Dubai feels really really safe

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/03/2025 20:54

Where do you live now? If in London you might want to try another area of uk first eg you'd be rich up north

newyorker74 · 17/03/2025 17:09

Leaving aside your reasons for going, I would caution that it could be very difficult to get a work visa in the US at this time. The tech industry laid off 150,000 people in 2024 most of whom are looking for work. The immigration system over here requires companies to prove that no American is able to do a job before applying for a work visa - tough to do in this market. Plus with all the lack of clarity around the rights of non citizens (even those on green cards) to stay in the country, I would be very careful about relying on a work visa. Bear in mind that, unless you can find a non work sponsor, you could be tied to that job for years as they hold your right to stay in the country. Unless you are very senior or hold some unique skills that mean a company would want to spend upwards of $15k getting you a visa, I think it would be tough.

CleverButScatty · 17/03/2025 16:57

PlanetJanette · 17/03/2025 14:51

Incidentally, don't for a second believe the OP is real.

It's like someone asked AI to generate a thread based on Elon Musk's anti-UK and anti-Europe talking points.

Or a daily mail columnist looking for their next article...

ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 16:51

The continuing use of the term "Third World Country" on here to describe parts of the UK is very odd (and somewhat ill informed).