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AIBU?

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Original poster

The neighbour and the EV charger

241 replies

Alittlebit9 · 16/03/2025 21:33

DH has an electric car, and had a charger installed at home on Friday. It cost him £1200.

Today, neighbour (who we are fairly friendly with, in a neighbourly way) has messaged me to ask if we would mind if they used it from time to time. I think she’s being a CF and this will be a slippery slope. Plus it’s on our driveway so we would have to move our cars. Also, I know it isn’t expensive but it’s going onto our bill.

YABU - let them use the charger
YANBU - they need to get their own

OP posts:
MummyJ36 · 17/03/2025 08:02

“As a one off of course! But unfortunately we would have to charge if you needed to use it more than once, I’m sure you understand”

DaNightCreeper · 17/03/2025 08:01

Alittlebit9 · 16/03/2025 21:39

@intrepidgiraffe no, knowing her I know she meant for free 😂 she is ballsy.

I will just send across the details of the person that did ours. I will also be watching the ring doorbell to check they aren’t doing it when we aren’t here 😂

At 1200 blatts I would hope the thing has a lock on it, no?

Cabinqueen · 17/03/2025 07:57

Muchtoomuchtodo · 16/03/2025 21:35

Absolutely not. Give her details of how you got yours installed and let them sort themselves out.

This.

Wouldn't be asking for someone to pay for fuel at the petrol station would they? Or would they? 🤨🤔Cheeky fuckery needs nipping in the bud here.

A simple, "I don't think that is going to work for us, actually Suzanne" should suffice.

Stravaig · 17/03/2025 07:55

Contrarily to everyone else, if you can work out a sensible cost per charge — which won't just be the unit rate, but also include a contribution towards installation and maintenance costs, your time in making the facility available and overseeing it, plus a convenience fee — then it would help you recoup the initial £1200 outlay.

Work out a fair price, offer those terms, and ensure payment is transferred to you before each charge. If they're genuine, it's a mutually beneficial arrangement; if they're CF angling for free charging, they'll run a mile.

(I come from a world of car sharing and informal car rental/car use rates.)

2025willbemytime · 17/03/2025 07:47

Justified07 · 17/03/2025 06:02

Is not replying an option? I don’t think I would even respond to their request.

Of course it is.

When did people get to be such pushovers? Someone else saying it might make the neighbourly relations awkward in the future if the OP said no. So what? The neighbour has already made it awkward as @Alittlebit9 doesn't seem to realise she owes the neighbour nothing and can say no, and without stupid justifications or blaming her DH.

Ellmau · 17/03/2025 07:46

"Oh, we would obviously have to charge you the going rate, and that might be a bit awkward, so perhaps better not." Then add in your bit about how to get their own.

2025willbemytime · 17/03/2025 07:45

TouchOfSilverShampoo · 17/03/2025 05:45

Sorry I voted wrong. YnotBAU

Click on what you wanted. You can change your vote as much as you want.

MeridianB · 17/03/2025 07:43

It’s a ridiculous request- it’s not like borrowing a garden hose or a cup of sugar.

You're doing the right thing by cutting her (and any other CF neighbours) off now.

LaundryFairy · 17/03/2025 07:39

Another vote for Co-Charger (we use it to charge our car at a neighbouring house as we live in a terrace without a drive).

You could sign up or send her a link to the website where she could find other hosts.

https://co-charger.com

Shinyandnew1 · 17/03/2025 07:38

Just ignore that request and reply with a 'DH got ours from X, get one-they're great!'

If they've got an electric car with no charging point, then that's their decision!

2025willbemytime · 17/03/2025 07:36

Alittlebit9 · 16/03/2025 22:00

@WhatDidIComeInThisRoomFor this is what made me laugh! I messaged on Friday to say oh just to let you know it’s being installed today so there might be a bit of drilling, won’t take long! She replied with some jokey comment about letting them use it to make up for the noise so I knew it was coming 😂

She wasn't joking...

ilovelamp82 · 17/03/2025 07:35

I think I would say something like, oh you're the 10th person that's asked that, so unfortunately we're having to say no to everyone to avoid any issues. Here's the contact details of the guy that fitted it though, thoroughly recommend if you're interested....

MayaPinion · 17/03/2025 07:33

I’d nip this in the bud now. Just say, ‘No, but there are the details of the people with used to install’. Or, ‘Sure, as long as I can come round and shower in your house every morning’.

tamade · 17/03/2025 07:30

I would let a neighbour (or anyone) in desperate need use my charger, on a "just this once and just enough to get to a proper charge point" basis.

But @Alittlebit9 I wouldn't agree to what your CF neighbour is asking for. Actually by asking and then getting a blanket "NO" she cant even approach you when desperate, that's what being grabby gets you.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 17/03/2025 07:26

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 16/03/2025 22:52

For heavens sake, never mind all these convoluted reasons. OP just needs to say no.

Show quote history

Absolutely this. Keep.it simple and straightforward. Don't open up a dialogue.

ElbowsUpRising · 17/03/2025 07:24

Alittlebit9 · 16/03/2025 22:00

@WhatDidIComeInThisRoomFor this is what made me laugh! I messaged on Friday to say oh just to let you know it’s being installed today so there might be a bit of drilling, won’t take long! She replied with some jokey comment about letting them use it to make up for the noise so I knew it was coming 😂

I wouldn't even reply, just ignore.

If she brings it up again just give her a hard stare and tell her you assumed her previous message on the subject was a joke as you'd never have thought someone would seriously ask such a thing.

Strictlymad · 17/03/2025 07:18

Nope…

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 17/03/2025 07:03

Lock it so she can’t use it.

haufbiskiy · 17/03/2025 06:50

Assuming your daytime rate is about 30p you will need to charge her about £2.25 an hour plus a proportionate of your standing charge and vat and an inconvenience fee so about £5 an hour ish paid upfront should do it.

but obviously it’s still a no.

lily219 · 17/03/2025 06:47

Absolutely not! Can't believe the neighbour's got the cheek to ask.

Chaseandstatus · 17/03/2025 06:31

I would say yes of course, we just need to get registered on the co-charger app and I’ll send you the details shortly.

RevolutionaryMode · 17/03/2025 06:02

Your neighbour sounds like she is one of those people who think it’s okay to ask someone to make their life a little bit more complicated so she can make hers a little bit easier. On a regular basis.

Justified07 · 17/03/2025 06:02

Is not replying an option? I don’t think I would even respond to their request.

TheAmusedQuail · 17/03/2025 06:01

Find out how much it costs commercially to charge an EV. And then you can tell her she can use it for the commercial cost per charge.

HelplessSoul · 17/03/2025 05:56

Alittlebit9 · 16/03/2025 21:33

DH has an electric car, and had a charger installed at home on Friday. It cost him £1200.

Today, neighbour (who we are fairly friendly with, in a neighbourly way) has messaged me to ask if we would mind if they used it from time to time. I think she’s being a CF and this will be a slippery slope. Plus it’s on our driveway so we would have to move our cars. Also, I know it isn’t expensive but it’s going onto our bill.

YABU - let them use the charger
YANBU - they need to get their own

Your neighbour is a CFC.

If she can afford an overpriced EV, she can afford to get her own charger installed.

The best response to this is to literally tell her to fuck off. And when she gets there, fuck off a lil bit more...

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