The neighbour and the EV charger

It was the breezy way she asked, it made me feel like I was being harsh saying no!

No doubt that was the intention and you'd have got the same breezy attitude if you objected to the "now and then" becoming all the time: "Oh, I thought you didn't mind!"

Anyway you've done the right thing in simply sending the info on who did yours (and no doubt saved yourself from others on the street seizing the same idea)

If they don't want to get a proper charger, they can use a 3-pin plug, on their own drive.

Yes, its only 1/3 the speed, but they cannuse their drive 24/7, you wouldn't want them on your drive 8hrs plus per day.

Can you lock them or turn them off?

The OP doesn’t need an electrician explaining anything, if she doesn’t want the neighbours using her charger she can just say no!

What did she say?

Electrician here, we can in such circumstances do clever things with credit meters and RF ID cards, had a similar situation on a pair of terraces, the neighbours decided to do one charger between the two. It attached to one houses supply, then using switching via ID cards we fed via two credit meters meaning the owners could work out their exact usage.

This still requires trust however, in your case OP, just say no, as you have. The other complication if one party charges their car on another's drive, if the car catches fire (which they can on rare occasions) it complicates the insurance situation.

My view, despite my line of work, is that electricity is a rubbish way to power a car, its fine for trains and trams, but they don't carry the power source on board. petrol is far better.

I'm old but a habitual and lifelong people pleaser.

When I was ...not so old, I saw a response to a situation from another person and chose to adopt it and it has worked really well for me ever since.

It's to answer immediately with something like, "Good God no, I wouldn't consider that!" or "Not a chance!"

It's amazing how it gets people immediately in their place.

My first outing with this was when we bought a caravan to live in while we had a load of work done on the house but my sister, who has spent her entire life getting what she wants, when she wants it, said that she would borrow it for a holiday with her kids before we moved into it.

Sister has a long history of borrowing stuff, breaking it or allowing it to become utterly ruined and handing it back in that state without even having the good grace to explain or, not even giving stuff back at all.

I said the former, above and, for the first time in her life, she actually stopped in her tracks, asked again and I said, "No. I've seen what things look like after you have used them and we have to live in that caravan."

I have been NC with her for nearly 20 years now over stuff far worse than her destroying mine and other peoples property but I was amazed at how well the immediate and affronted response worked on her and I have used it many times since with CF's.

Most EV owners apply for an EV tariff from their supplier. It gives you lower prices overnight. If you aren’t on that tariff then you would expect to see higher rates.

You set your boundaries and that is great. If she says “oh go on” do stick to no. I stick to no by starting my sentence with a No. I don’t say sorry. I say no first. It works every time. You’ve got the tough part out of the way and then just keep repeating it.

You have to admire her brassed-necked cheek OP ! 😁

She's welcome to use it as long as (a) she pays you for the leccy and (b) does not inconvenience you in any way.

If that won't work the a flat No is not unreasonable.

If you have the app you can set it so it’s locked so even if she tried to access it she can’t

But saying no may be a problem - if you want a half decent relationship afterwards.

@anothernameanotherplanet don't be so wet. Such a doormat thing to say. Of course she can say no - and if the CF doesn't like it, fucking tough! She is taking the piss even asking!

Then I guess you'll have to stop warning her when there will be noise. Otherwise your tree man could "just cut down one or two of the branches in her garden too". Or your cleaner could "just"......On your bill, obviously.

Or make up some BS - your insurer said no, or similar.

Where does your neighbour currently charge their EV???

Nope, no and never. Give some people an inch and they’ll take a mile. If you agreed then it wouldn’t take long until her car would be on your drive every day and you’ll be tearing your hair out.

As my Dad often said, don’t start something that you can’t finish.

No. You can have an app so only you can use yours.
I’d just ‘misunderstand’ reply with details and cost of person who installed yours.

Erm no.... setting yourself up for unending hassle especially with moving of cars.
Just say sorry its not something we want to get involved with. Can send your details of our installer....
The cheek...

Do you have an ev tarriff? Ours only costs £5 to charge between midnight and 5 at 8p a kw but if I charged during the day it’s 24p. Worth considering

I would send her the link to get her own and explain the process you went through - she just needs to make some effort herself!

Why are you even questioning whether to say no? Stop being such a pushover and give her a hard no. Don’t bother sending details of who fitted your charger either. If she wants one she can figure it out. Jeez, you’ll be offering her an extension lead so she can plug in her dishwasher next!

It will always be a one-off.

Love that there's an app for everything these days! No more dog-eared notebooks and negotiations over the garden fence.