Help! I can't shake wanting a 3rd child

58 replies

LovingLivingLife · 16/03/2025 21:09

All the logic tells me 2 and done. I am definitely being unreasonable to still want another.

I had 2 C-sections, I think a third will probably ruin my body. Pregnancy with my last was tough on my body.
We have 2 gorgeous, healthy girls.
The pregnancy and post partum hormones made me a nightmare, it's taken me nearly 2 years to get back to normal and want any kind of sex life again. I don't want to put that kind of strain on our marriage again.
There's already a lot of noise in our house, I get over stimulated as it is.
I'm ready for more exciting holidays and not having to cater to very little people.
I'm ready to carry on with my career and get properly stuck in again.

But I just don't feel done, and not does DH. Both my DH and I are only children and I would love to have a bigger family. We have left decent age gaps and I think we could give them each individual attention.

Is it normal to long for a third? Do most people just look at the list of negatives and eventually get over it?

OP posts:

Original poster

LovingLivingLife · 16/03/2025 22:30

MaybeItsTimeForMeNow · 16/03/2025 21:23

I disagree. I had a third, who is now 2.5 and am now absolutely done, but in a nice way. The yearning after dc2 was unbelievable.

Op i also had 3 c sections. 1 emcs and 2 electives. Life is pretty good albeit we don't do trips abroad or drive nice new cars. it's happy chaos. If you have some time (age I guess) give it a few months and see if you still feel the same?

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Thank you for sharing! Part of my concern is that it's so difficult to find any information on health outcomes after 3rd C-section. Did you manage to find any reliable information? I'm so worried I will get bladder damage or something similarly awful or that it will be impossible to rebuild my core.

OP posts:

ShriekingTrespasser · 16/03/2025 21:42

I too had the longing. I used to see families with 3 children and the desire for that was so strong. We went ahead and I have no regrets whatsoever. Never had any urges for 4.
You listed quite a few reasons why you shouldn’t have one so it may be hormone overdrive or a genuine desire. You’ll have to figure it out.

Chimummy73 · 16/03/2025 21:38

I had that longing too for No3 and I’m so glad I went for it, absolutely no regrets as I don’t think the urge would have left me. I had 3 aged 4 1/2 and under so intense few years but close together worked for me. DS2 and DS3 are absolutely best friends as well as brothers always holidaying or going to gigs together, they even work together (and both still live at home) However I did realise I was done, all healthy big strong lads now in their early 20s, wouldn’t change it for the world or want to wonder at what might have been Must admit my ovaries did start twitching again early 40s but that was just realising my biological clock was ticking away.

user1471471849 · 16/03/2025 21:30

I was the same. tried to suppress my feelings and stick with two but eventually realised it was really important to me and luckily was able to have a third kid (coz I waited about 4 years before taking the plunge and by then was over 40). after my third I felt the family was complete. I just felt there was someone missing in the family until then.

comfyshoes2022 · 16/03/2025 21:23

I don’t think it’s the norm to long for a third. It sounds like you do genuinely want it. Not saying you should go for it necessarily but I don’t think this is something that everyone feels.

MaybeItsTimeForMeNow · 16/03/2025 21:23

DustyLee123 · 16/03/2025 21:12

When you’ve got 3, you’ll want 4. It never ends.

I disagree. I had a third, who is now 2.5 and am now absolutely done, but in a nice way. The yearning after dc2 was unbelievable.

DustyLee123 · 16/03/2025 21:12

When you’ve got 3, you’ll want 4. It never ends.

Fountains · 16/03/2025 21:12

I’d focus on coming to terms with stopping at two. It’s ok to feel sadness and discomfort. Just sit with the feelings.

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