Help! I can't shake wanting a 3rd child

I decided that I couldn't pick my heart over the rest of my family (in terms of being impacted by practical reasons against it). I'm fine with it now, 3 years later. I occasionally feel sad about it, but I think it was the best decision anyway. However, DP was not keen although I could have persuaded him and I think if he had wanted a third too then I would have gone with it.

I would say that we can afford it with minimal lifestyle changes.

You can afford it now.
Can you afford three teenagers?
Can you financially support three students through university?
Never underestimate the emotional cost of parenting teenagers either.

Very much untrue for us. The minute DC3 was born I felt totally at ease snd ‘complete’, as nauseating as that sounds.

If you want to and can OP, then do. It literally doesn’t matter. No one is going to remember you in a century. Just do what you want. DC3 is nearly 3 and over the last year I’ve started a new career which I am absolutely loving. 3 kids is brilliant, they all get on really well and it’s less intense than a 1:1 sibling relationship I find.

It definitely feels like double the work of 2 kids though (so, not proportional).

I was you five years ago OP. In the end I went with my head over my heart and stuck with two. It has turned out well so far. We have had a lot of fun over the past few years and are at a point where we just really enjoy the dc. I am fit again and have enough time to focus on my own health and wellbeing. I feel that I can give each of them enough individual attention and days out and holidays are good too as the world sometimes seems to be designed for families of four. When I visit friends with three plus, there is such a different vibe. A third seems to bring a disproportionate amount of chaos and expense. I really don’t buy the saying that you’ll never regret another child.

I’m one of 4 with a few steps and numerous cousins running about. Loved it!

I’m in the same boat OP but absolutely cannot have any more. DH feels too old (he’s over 40 now, I’m mid 30s), my pregnancies are high risk and although both babies delivered vaginally my labours were hard - the second wasn’t easier like is often the case. We’re also considering sending the kids private due to issues with the state schools round here which we absolutely could not to for 3 kids. I have a healthy, bright DD and a healthy, bright DS so really need to stop thinking about it but I think it’ll nag at me for a little while yet.

I had 3 kids and 3 sections. The last one I was told not to have any more as it was like 'sewing up wet paper towel' 😳. However, the recovery was fine. I wouldn't let that put you off, it's a very small time frame in the scheme of things if you really want a third. If you have the means to support a third then why not? It's highly unlikely you will regret it.

Lot of people I know thought I was mad for thinking about a third, so even thinking about it is a step down the road. In the time it took us to decide I would feel at peace with stopping at two for a time and then we’d see a family of five when out for the day, we’d both notice them and the indecision would start all over again. It was a real suprise to me a I never expected to want a third. In the end we agreed we didn’t want to always wonder what if, the fact the idea wouldn’t go away was our decision. And as soon as my third was out I had such a strong feeling of being done. Not a pang as I pass on anything we no longer need. The certainty is such a feeling of relief. That said it’s a lot. He caused all sorts of health issues for me which, had we forseen them, we wouldn’t have done it. But I’m luckily recovered now. And it’s loud, messy, you’re fire fighting and stretched thin, but time together and time you carve out with each of them or for yourself is magical too. We’re 5.5 years in and we’re all thankful for him everyday. Good luck with your decision, I know how overwhelming it can feel and I got so sick of thinking about it.

I’m one of three kids. It’s a lot of kids in the family lol. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Had four in the end and 4 section and recovery with each one was easier ..Definitely done at four lol.

. I think my life wouldnt feel complete without my third, but my god the 3rd child causes a disproportionate amount of cost compared to the 2nd. Cars won’t for 3 in. Holidays cost double it seems. A 4 bed house as compared to a 3 bed is double the price it seems 🫣

Picking up on your point about 3 c sections, can you speak with a dr to discuss the risks? I had a teams appointment with an obstetrician last week to discuss pregnancy risks (including what for me would be a 4th section). I now feel like I have all the info to make a decision.

I disagree. I wanted 4, had 3, realised I’m done.

Do you have room for a third? Can you afford a third - both money and time for them? How would your children be impacted by a third?

I’ve had 3 c sections, recovery was a lot easier as I knew what to expect. All done via the same scar as well.

Have 11 years between middle and youngest. Was definitely my third and final ☺️

@Mamofboys5972 you are absolutely right with that. For me it's been years. I'm one of 3 and my husband is one of 3 and I think it's almost how I just assumed it would be!

I'm still pregnant with number 2 but already yearning for number 3, I think when you know you know. All my family have 3, I'm 1 of 3, it just feels right. I can't wait to have all my babies. If you genuinely can't shake the feeling I say go for it. You won't regret it. But this feels like something you will continue yearning/regretting for years x

I've really longed for a third for 5 years, 3 years ago we had a really proper chat and decided to try , and someone told me we'd never regret a third baby but could regret not trying. Which stuck with me.
Sadly our journey has not been simple and despite conceiving very easily with my other DC, it took 2 years to conceive again and I’ve since had 2 first trimester losses and a second trimester loss. The pull is still there but I’m more torn now. Especially with my age, and now a big age gap. I also had 2 x c sections ( emergencies) and when I was induced for my second trimester loss in August, consultants were supportive for us trying again even though a full term baby would be a third c section.
The desire probably won’t go away, and I wish we’d tried when we first started feeling it, as time is previous and goes very quickly! If that helps at all.